Back when he was at UNC around the turn of the century, we figured Brendan Haywood would be a high lottery pick and beast in the NBA; muscled, legit 7-footers don’t just appear out of nowhere, after all. But Haywood slipped to 20th, even though he had the talent to stick in the league for, now, eight years and counting
(Playing with balls GET IT PEOPLE BALLS IT’S A PUN A PLAY ON WORDS)
Perhaps it’s because Haywood’s mouth has been more of a liability than anything else on the court; his beasting has been largely focused on fellow players, sometimes even teammates. He had a long-standing, often physical feud with fellow Washington center Etan Thomas, who’s one of the most erudite members of the entire league. And now he’s on the offensive toward Stephon Marbury… with a heavy emphasis on “offensive.”
Per SPORTS RADIO INTERVIEWS, Haywood sees Starbury’s bizarre “lifecasting” and can come up with only one reasonable conclusion - he must like manballs in his mouth*:
“At first it was cool, but after a while it just became disturbing. He’s on YouTube crying with no shirt on for no reason, sweating while his boy’s rubbing his shoulders. What’s that about? That’s like gay porn. I don’t understand it. He’s dancing to a song called ‘Barbie Doll’, doing like stripper moves. I have no idea what’s going on with the guy, it’s almost like he’s trying to end his own career. There’s not a GM out there that would touch Marbury right now… Have you seen the ‘Barbie Doll’ clip? Click on YouTube and go to Barbie Doll. There’s no way any other professional athletes would wanna get dressed around this guy, because you gotta think something is a little, he’s swinging from both sides of the fence.”
Aw, c’mon, man. Don’t flatter yourselves. If Marbury’s really down for all that, he could probably do better than a bunch of scared-ass teammates.
Where do people even get this idea, anyway? Is there some epidemic of gay locker room rape that’s going completely unnoticed by everybody but the most vigilant of heterosexual men? What the hell?
Moreover, Haywood makes the unforgivable mistake of believing something he sees on YouTube. On the very video he’s talking about, the info on the video states - twice - that “Barbie Girl” isn’t the original song Marbury was dancing to; it was added after the fact. Dubbed, if you will.
Now, whether Marbury should have been dancing to anything live on the Internet is certainly up for debate; we’re going to say “no he should not have” and leave it pretty much at that. At the very least, he should have waited until he got a new NBA contract signed.
And look. Marbury’s behavior has been aberrant at best, and it may very well end up having the effect that he doesn’t get another job in the league. Casually questioning his sexuality based on actions that were merely weird - not sexual - does nothing to help (pardon the expression) get to the bottom of what to take from the “Starbury TV” experience.
*Do gay people even like that? We don’t even know.
2:22 pm on August 17th, 2009
I dont know whats crazier, Stephon Marbury or you thinking Brendan Haywood was ever going to be a beast in the NBA!
REALLY? Brendan Haywood?
3:36 pm on August 17th, 2009
I’m sure there could be a healthy debate on both sides on whether getting your shoulders rubbed by another dude while shirtless is as you say “merely weird” or downright homosexual
3:26 am on August 18th, 2009
Coming from a gay man…..usually there’s three reasons why a man would ever comment on another man’s sexuality those being, one: he has a physical attraction to that man, two: he’s gay but ashamed and wishes he had the courage to express himself , maybe not the same way but somehow express himself, or three: He’s ashamed of his sexuality and when he sees another man express himself in what could be preseved as femmine, he lashes out to cover his own shame.
I don’t believe the two of them are friends because if they were he wouldn’t be trying to put him on blast. They’re not on the same team so why would Haywood care what other men think about Marbury in the locker room. And as far as another man rubbing his shoulders….how many times does Haywood get his ass slapped by another man every game…..you’re not that good so it can’t all be because of your skills…..
p.s. Mr Haywood, if you’re so straight….HOW DO U KNOW WHAT GAY PORN IS LIKE!!??!!!
8:26 am on August 18th, 2009
When Marbury came into the wasn’t he tagged as a Ball Handler?
8:27 am on August 18th, 2009
When Marbury came into the league, wasn’t he tagged as a Ball Handler?
1:27 pm on August 18th, 2009
RL- your post is comprised of the typical rationale offered by a very vocal minority of the gay community when non-gay men or women comment on gay men or women. Perhaps Haywood is simply commenting; perhaps Haywood disagrees with the gay lifestyle; perhaps he’s just talking trash; perhaps Marbury’s actions led Haywood to form a reasonable opinion.
If an athletic man offers similar comments with respect to a fat man, does that mean (i) he has a physical attraction to fat people; (ii) he secretly wants to be fat; or (iii) he’s ashamed of his athleticism? Apply it to any physical or innate observation offered by one person with regard to another. I’ve never understood why certain members of the gay community feels the need to justify the views of non-gays through such fabrication.
A prime example is the term the gay community developed to describe others’ distaste for the gay lifestyle, “homophobe.” Again, tying the views of those that disagree with the gay lifestyle to fear, rather than reasonable opposition.
I don’t have a single issue with any man or woman based upon the lfiestyle they choose or are born into. None at all. This particular approach just annoys me to no end.
2:54 pm on August 18th, 2009
Its like watching someone totally lose their sh*t live 24 hours a day. He has entered the dreaded Tyson Zone.