As multi-sport athletes go, perhaps few have been as prolific - even if just on the fringes - as Brock Lesnar, the Minnesotan Man-Mountain. He got his start as a truly fearsome heavyweight wrestler in college before participating in, at varying times, MMA, the WWE, and even training camp with the Vikings as a defensive tackle.
(We would make jokes aboot the whole “yeah boot Minnesoota” thing, boot we can’t shake the feeling that he’s standing right behind us.)
Clearly, lots of credit needs to be given to his physique; who else can claim such a varied career in sports at such a young age? And to be fair, Lesnar does give plenty of credit to said physique, although we’re beginning to wonder if maybe the credit’s getting a little bit misdirected.
As the MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE reports, Lesnar doesn’t credit his parents for, y’know, all the genetic coding that makes him who he is and dictates his ability to put on muscle. No, that’s Jesus’ territory:
“I bet you I’ve taken over 60 steroid tests. In college, I had 15 random drug tests in two years. I’ve taken drug tests for the NFL, the WWE, the UFC. I must be pretty good at masking steroids. God gave me this body: Are you jealous of it or what? Give me a break.
Sir, we can tell you unequivocally, yes, we are jealous. Absolutely, yes.
“I got the genetics of–not to get into racism or anything–but I’m built like a black man. Would you say so?”
No, we would say you have the genetics of your parents. That is how genetics work.
But you know what? Fine. Let’s run with this. Brock Lesnar self-identifies as a black man, evidently, despite some rather glaring evidence to the contrary. Well, and we realize this is a major league stretch, Barack Obama also self-identifies as a black man, even as he’s of mixed heritage. No, he’s not 100% Scandinavian or anything, but, just work with us here. What do you say, Brock? Can we call you Brock Obama? Do you like the Obama?
[Lesnar noted] that he owned four homes (one in western Hennepin County), a private plane, two Hummers and a Mercedes. Asked whether he has saved for retirement, he responded: “That’s private. But if Obama keeps spending our money like this, I’ll have to fight till I’m 50.”
First of all, bullhonky. Second, that’s clearly a “no,” since anyone who’s got a good retirement plan even in its infancy can’t wait to tell you about it, even if it has no bearing on the conversation as a whole. We’ve all been at cocktail parties where something like this went down:
Guy 1: “So then, Springsteen comes out for the encore, and he immedia–
Guy 2: “Just diversified my 401(k)!”
Guy 3: “…what? That’s great, Steve, but–”
Guy 2: “Money market!”
Although, we must give Lesnar credit here. Just because he’s an albino black man doesn’t mean he automatically likes the first black President. After all, that’d just be racist.
2:33 pm on June 23rd, 2009
“I got the genetics of–not to get into racism or anything–but I’m built like a black man. Would you say so?”
By the looks of that photo he's built like a black man from the waist up and thighs down, Lexington Steele he's not!
Why do we think he's on or has used steroids,..Hmm maybe because the man that hired him for his pro wrestling almost did 20 years for using and distributing them.
Hey Brock shut up and take your future lost to frank Mir like a man..or Black man or whatever you want to be.
2:49 pm on June 23rd, 2009
Yes Rat Girl,It must be implied in your trailer park Brock took steroids since he worked for Vince McMahon. I’m sure The NCAA, the NFL, Nevada Athletic Comm and of course the UFC would love to get more insight from you on how he’s passed these tests.
Oh, Steve Mazzagatti won't be there to save Mir this time.
3:40 pm on June 23rd, 2009
mir did not, and will not need saving
4:46 pm on June 23rd, 2009
Regardless of color the guy is a specimen, cant wait to see that fight. I am also hoping he get's his ass beat but that's beside the point.
5:02 pm on June 23rd, 2009
Hey Beer Run…Trailer park? is this a trailer park I'm living in?, whoa! the trailer parks I see on T.V arent 8K sq feet with a pool with three waterfalls and patio furniture more expensive than that cheap car you use to get to your 8-5 cubical job in.
And as far NCAA, UFC and NFL needeing insight on how he passes their test…heres their insight….
NCAA wrestling is one of worst offenders of steroids usage with baseball and swimming a distant 2nd and 3rd.
UFC, as we all know ( maybe you dont) they know fighters only get tested before the weigh-in and after the fight, you dont get tested during training and steroids take 5 days to cycle completely out of ones body using 8 gallons of water and human chorionic gonadotropin,
And NFL Brock Never made the team so I really doubt he was tested much….but im sure Shawn Merriman could tell you more about Steroid testing in the NFL and how to avoid it….oh wait!..nevermind
5:15 pm on June 23rd, 2009
Maybe he had been swimming…
7:55 pm on June 23rd, 2009
The local police in my town refer to his build as "slave cut" or "s-cut" for short…just like like the dope boys who look like they spend their day in the gym, but actually spend it eating Moon Pies and RC cola.
Also, Rat_ Girl has a vivid imagination.
10:43 am on June 24th, 2009
I'm built like a black man too…if you know what I mean.
My name is Kunte Kinte!!!
3:24 pm on June 24th, 2009
im built like a black man. my name is mandingo.
actually, it has become much easier to pass steroid tests with all the advancements in maskng agents.
i believe some tests do not look for steroids because of how difficult they are to find in the system. as an example, tests will search for elevated levels of testosterone or testosterone drugs. this is how manny rammirez got caught.
mcgwire, bonds, sosa, ramirez, palmeiro all denied drug use, and were proven to be liers? coincidence.
4:40 pm on June 24th, 2009
Big Float , little stem!!
3:52 am on July 13th, 2009
Alright so…. LESNAR owns MMA, cant wait till Fedor vs Lesner. BUT there are so many LEGAL supplements and drugs… trust me I’ve used many. They can have the same effects as STERIODS… but again their legal. Know your shit… and dont be jealous of us big people.