Whatever happens to Matthew Stafford this season as quarterback for the Detroit Lions (slow funeral dirge here), he is a winner in my eyes. No, more than that: He’s a hero. Boozy Fourth of July boat party with hot cheerleaders, the hottest of which is his girlfriend? Vertical lap dances? Random flipping the bird? That’s why God invented summer. But wait, who is the blonde damsel who stole Stafford’s heart?
After much speculation, BUSTED COVERAGE digs out the facts: She’s Kelly Hall, a University of Georgia cheerleader who may or may not be surgically enhanced. I’ll leave that speculation to you, since I am not good at estimating size from two-dimensional images (side note: Never buy a home solely off the Internet). But the photos above seem to offer evidence that Stafford used at least some of his signing bonus for a higher purpose.
From UGACHEER.COM, via BUSTED COVERAGE, we get the vital statistics.
BUSTED COVERAGE. THE WORLD OF ISAAC. Both possess the strength of ten men.
2:52 pm on August 3rd, 2009
Worst implants eva.
2:56 pm on August 3rd, 2009
what’s wrong with them?
3:24 pm on August 3rd, 2009
They weren’t put in his girl’s chest…
4:50 pm on August 3rd, 2009
Looks like 2 balloons inflated under her skin. That’s what happens when you have A cups.
4:56 pm on August 3rd, 2009
they look new and have not been worked in to place yet. and loop sided
5:18 pm on August 3rd, 2009
Complain, complain, complain. And I suppose those freckles really suck, too.
6:37 pm on August 3rd, 2009
She must do something right, how else would she earn those?
6:48 pm on August 3rd, 2009
Her personal info page (linked in the article) is pretty funny. She’s a college student hoping to get into nursing school, but when they asked for her favorite book, she put down “I don’t read”.
7:05 pm on August 3rd, 2009
FYI: he didn’t get a signing bonus
9:15 pm on August 3rd, 2009
Her arm is around someone idiot! That’s why they look different.
9:27 pm on August 3rd, 2009
She’s not a college student. She’s a UGA college student. One of them redneck Bullfrogs. There is a major difference. While reading might still help in getting a degree at good ol’ UGA, it is not required.
As for Stafford winding up at Detroit, long-suffering Calvin Johnson might as well ask to be traded right now, ’cause he’s likely seen the last pass headed in his direction as long as Matthew is under center.
11:00 pm on August 3rd, 2009
LT, you have got to be a fellow ramblin’ wreck…Go Jackets!
1:02 am on August 4th, 2009
never heard men complain about implants until now - shame on all of you!
3:17 am on August 4th, 2009
Say, isn’t Brooksie a UGA grad?
8:00 am on August 4th, 2009
She is delicious.
12:42 pm on August 4th, 2009
Good to see she plays the “chello”….
2:54 pm on August 4th, 2009
Maybe Stafford can get the rest of UGA’s cheerleader’s some also, how else are we going to compete with USC’s and UCLA’s cheerleaders
2:58 pm on August 4th, 2009
So, her favorite board game is “Apples to Apples”?
“Lemons to Grapefruits” would be more appropo.
3:12 pm on August 4th, 2009
I see LT Wyatt has that Georgia Tech INFERIORITY complex.
I would bet a year’s salary that Kelly would be considered the best looking girl on that armpit of a campus off North Avenue.
4:36 pm on August 4th, 2009
Her dad prolly paid for those. He has more money then Stafford.
12:39 am on August 5th, 2009
Once these stretch the skin out a little bit she needs to go to DDDs. Maybe some butt implants too.
8:06 am on August 8th, 2009
I’d still motorboat
7:44 am on August 10th, 2009
what the hell is wrong with those implants!!!
those are horrible
5:51 am on October 20th, 2009
I’d squeeze em’