Pirates Fans: Next Time Leave Your Teeth At Home

So far we’ve had Red Sox fans fight Yankees fans in the stands, Mets-Phillies fans tousling to the ground, and now we have filled out the trifecta: Atlanta Braves fans are now punchin’ up Pirates fans.

Pirates vs. Braves - get it?

(”I will find you … no matter how long it takes, no matter what Pirates hat you wear … I will find you!”)

The ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION collects the teeth on this story that happened back on April 2, when mild-mannered Pirates fan Bobby Collins went to a Braves-Pirates game in Atlanta with his nephew and friend. His transgression … wearing a Pittsburgh Pirates hat. A group of nearby rowdy Braves fans spotted him, and as the disheartened Pirates fans left in the eighth inning — Atlanta was busy scoring seven runs that inning — one of the Braves fans allegedly punched him in the jaw, shattering it, while knocking out several teeth.

If only he had the mobility of Sid Bream. (Too soon?)

Of course, if it was one of the six rambunctious fellas, they won’t get far:

“Atlanta police spokesman Eric Schwartz said he did not know whether any arrests have been made, but Coggins doesn’t think it wouldn’t be difficult to track down Collins’ attacker. The boisterous group made an appearance on the stadium’s big screen while dancing for a camera; police also seized a cell phone that was found under the seat of one of the suspects.”

Now, the question is whether or not this former National League East rivalry supersedes the inebriated spectacle of the Mets and Phillies. It’s not clear what happened in that fight, but it probably had a more balanced result, as opposed to some drunk Braves fan throwing a Flying Fist Of (David) Justice unprovoked on a middle-aged maintenance worker, who wasn’t even looking the assailant’s way. Well, that, and both the Braves and Pirates are under .500 for the season.

Keep trying, Braves and Pirates.