The Chizik Conspiracy Is Deeper Than You Know

Folks in Auburn were less than thrilled when the school signed the losingest coach in the Big 12. Folks at Iowa State were less than thrilled with him leaving, since all the co-eds wanted to sex him up good. So it’s no surprise that Gene Chizik might have some enemies.

Gene Chizik Iowa State football coach

But there’s a bit of a mystery surrounding FireGeneChizik.com. Why was it registered before he coached a single game for the Tigers? Was it done by Auburn fans or ISU fans? And why, for the love of God, does it redirect to the University of Central Florida’s player profile page for Kevin Smith, now in the NFL?


Go ahead, try it yourself. The link takes you right to UCF’s page for their former star running back, now with the Detroit Lions. What does Kevin Smith, or the Lions, or even UCF have to do with Gene Chizik? Clearly this is a conspiracy of grand proportions.

Chizik was a defensive coordinator at UCF from 1998-2001, many years before the website was registered. Are Knights fans so bitter that they still carry a torch (in the villagers storming Castle Frankenstein sense) for a long-departed assistant coach?

It’s not any kind of conference rivalry, since UCF is in Conference USA, which apparently has football teams besides Tulane. Smith is from Miami, and as far as I can tell, has never crossed paths with Chizik in his life.

The only possible explanation involves the Illuminati, the Freemasons, and the BCS Commissioners, and I can’t elucidate further without risking my own violent ritual murder, Da Vinci Code style.