Everybody knows by now that things get done a little differently in Canada. The culture barrier is subtle, but distinctive; a Norm MacDonald, after all, could never have come from the USA. That’s why when that fan climbed onto the goalpost during a game earlier this week, people were worried, sure, but not really surprised.
But after yesterday’s narrowly-averted shovel attack involving the Edmonton Eskimos - more on that in just a second, because you’re definitely saying “hang on, shovel attack?” right now - we’re beginning to fear that the entire league’s gone off the meds. Ahead, a brief but sufficient look back.
First, the shovel attack. From TSN.CA:
The incident occurred after a practice altercation between six-foot-four 285-pound [Xzavie] Jackson and six-foot-four, 298-pound centre Aaron Fiacconi. No one intervened in the tussle. Jackson, who got the worst of it, flung off his practice jersey and headed off the field — returning with a shovel from behind some nearby dumpsters.
Jackson’s shouts alerted head coach Richie Hall and general manager Danny Maciocia, who stopped him from entering the field at Clarke Park and talked him back down to reality before he was escorted to the dressing room by a team doctor.
Gentlemen! You’re both hulking terrormonsters whose job it is to fight other terrormonsters. Looking for a weapon is just an admission of weakness; you’re supposed to be the weapon.
So, then, we just add this to the pile of CFL insanity.
- There was also the aformentioned daredevil fan:
- The touching and totally sensitive touchdown celebration - posing as a Michael Jackson corpse:
- The controversial “pull a knife on your own players and see what happens” coaching technique.
- Child pornography? Hey, why not?
- And finally, the single greatest sports highlight in the history of sports and highlights:
I can watch that over. and. over. Sweet fancy Moses, CFL, don’t you ever change.