The Big (Always) Hurt, who has played just 8 …

The Big (Always) Hurt, who has played just 8 games for the Chisox this year, recently returned to the lineup only to pull himself from Monday’s game with a leg cramp. Trainer Herm Schneider, revealed that Thomas suffers dehydration due to habitual coffee intake and this affects his body’s ability to recover. I don’t know if I can kill that habit,“ Thomas said. “I love coffee. I pound coffee when I get to the ballpark. I like to stay dehydrated and keep motivated somehow, and that’s how I do things.“BR>

So did Beavis, Frank. Learn from him. You’re not motivated. You’re geeked up on caffeine.(Suggestion from Brooks: Frank might also consider dumping his offseason workout partner, Juan Gonzalez.)B>
From the Archie Bunker Carl Everett files:BR>Gays being gay is wrong. Two women can’t produce a baby, two men can’t produce a baby, so it’s not how it’s supposed to be. I don’t believe in gay marriages. I don’t believe in being gay.“BR>You know what would be a hoot? Tricking Carl into believing that dinosaurs were gay.BR>Other gems from Everett’s interview include, “They need to implode Wrigley,” and “Fan is short for fanatic; he’s crazy about something he really doesn’t know about. And it’s proven that 99 percent of baseball fans have no idea what they’re watching.“BR>Having successfully alienated gays, as well as the fans that pay his salary, Carl might want to stick to commenting on the things he knows best: balls.BR>