The Anti-Christ Is 12-Years Old & Lives In England

Here in the United States and around the globe, we hold our sporting records to be rather sacred.  Those who set the records tend to get mythologized over time and looked at as Gods to us.  For proof of this, just look at the crap Hank Aaron had to go through when he was on the verge of breaking Babe Ruth’s home run record, or at how horrified we were at the thought of Barry Bonds breaking Hank’s mark.

Right now in England there’s a 12-year old kid who I’m going to say has broken an unofficial record.  This kid has dedicated his entire 12 years of existence to achieving his dream, but now it looks like his road to glory is going to take a bit of a detour.


A 12-year-old boy, who has been arrested 40 times this year, was finally locked up on November 19.

The boy, whose name has been withheld for legal reasons, was described as a one child crimewave by magistrates.

He was given just eight months detention after his lawyer argued that he should be spared youth custody, as he would be the youngest inside and might try to be like the older thugs.

It was revealed during the hearing that when the young boy was last arrested, he was so drunk he needed hospital treatment.

The lawyer is arguing that his client shouldn’t go to jail because the older criminals might be a bad influence?   I think he’d have a better chance by arguing the kid would be a bad influence on the other inmates.   Of course, since you’re probably wondering how this story is sports related — it is if you consider getting arrested a sport — there’s also this tidbit about the boy.

Added to the charges, the youth court in Blackpool was also told that police believe he was also responsible for rolling a bowling ball towards 11-year-old Ryan Johnson and asking him to kick it back.

Innocent Ryan, thinking it was a football, took a huge swipe and broke his foot.

Oh, come on!  That’s not a crime, that’s hilarious.

The kid admitted to robbery, three burglaries, an assault, three thefts, and criminal damage charges while asking that 16 other offenses he committed be considered.  While I’m not sure the kid has ever played American football in his life, I feel he should know that Roger Goodell has already suspended him for a year should he ever decide to give it a shot.