Riot for the Lakers all you want, but I’m saving my civil disobedience for later this month when they crown the title winner of the 2009 World Air Sex Championships. We all learned about Air Sex here last month, and now we’re hurtling toward a North American Champion with the 2009 Air Sex Tour, which began June 6.
The tour travels to 15 cities in 21 days with, the finals being held in four locations: The Independent in San Francisco on June 24th, The Casbah in San Diego June 25, The Echoplex in Los Angeles June 26 and in Tucson, Ariz., June 27. One lucky person will then be crowned North American champion, and be sent to the World Championships later this summer. The reigning “world champion” goes by the name of Cobra. The 2008 North American champ was Sad Larry.
Never been to an Air Sex show before? Here’s what you need to know: it’s a lot like Air Guitar, but instead of rocking out with an imaginary guitar, you’re making sweet and/or filthy love with an imaginary sex partner. You choose a clip of music, you show up in whatever sort of wardrobe you like, and you come up on stage and show everyone how you do it. Or how you wish you could do it.
Or how you once had it done to you, and oh my god was that a bad idea and while it’s embarrassing to show that act to a room of strangers, you know that you need to do it now in order to make sure that no one else falls down the same rabbit hole you got stuck inside. Or, you know, just do it however you want.
If you’re planning on competing, make sure that you know the rules!
Time: Contestants have a maximum of 2 minutes to perform an air sex routine. This can include all phases of an air sex encounter: meeting, seduction, foreplay and intercourse, or you can simply cut to the chase.
Music: Competitors must perform to music, you can either bring a CD of your performance track with you, or you can choose from our selection of air sex music. You may also include an audio prelude to your performance, maximum of 30 seconds.
Other Rules: Unlike air guitar, there are not many other rules. Props are allowed, teams are allowed, talking is allowed. The only important rule is that all sexual climaxes must be simulated, not real.