That’s Not Really Sidney Crosby’s MySpace, Guys

After his Penguins’ remarkable run to the Stanley Cup, life’s probably never been better for Pittsburgh’s young phenom Sidney Crosby. If only he’d move out of Mario Lemieux’s house.

Sidney Crosby
(”Back in my day, this was what we used for a Me-Space!” “God kill me now.”)

So it seemed like a stroke of genius when his “If You See Crosby”* page on MySpace announced that he was helping raise money for a park… in Minneapolis… that was burned down… by gang members. If your BS alarm is going off like crazy, good, because it means you have a pulse.

The PITTSBURGH TRIBUNE-REVIEW has the story of a fundraiser that really wasn’t, at all:

A message sent Monday from the MySpace page, “If You See Crosby,” asked for help to raise $3,000 for Phelps Park in Minneapolis. In exchange for a donation, preferably sent via Western Union, “Sid” promised to send a “game-played, autographed stick,” the message stated.

“That is not Sidney Crosby,” Penguins spokesman Tom McMillan said Tuesday. “He does not have a MySpace page.”

What? Then what’s going on here?

Fans who received the fundraising plea were asked to send money to Stephanie Biddlecom, 23, of Minneapolis, a small-time professional wrestler known as “Cerise Keller.”

In an interview with the Tribune-Review, Biddlecom insisted Crosby was helping her raise money to rebuild a playground destroyed by a gang. She said she met Crosby three years ago when his cousin began dating her sister. Biddlecom said she speaks with Crosby daily.

Well, that seems perfectly verifiable. Which is why Crosby has said… oh wait, he’s said nothing. His legal representation, however:

A lawyer for Crosby confirmed her client has nothing to do with the site.

By the way, if your curiosity was piqued by “23 year old amateur wrestler,” yes, so was ours. We checked out that Cerise Keller myspace page - link’s right here - and let’s just say we’re not filing this post under “Hotties” and leave it at that.

But what, you might ask, about that poor park? Aren’t the children the ones who are really suffering here? Well, uh, about that, funny story:

Phelps Park, an urban recreational center, needs no work and has not been burned down as Biddlecom claimed, Minneapolis park officials said.

“That’s an absolute, 100 percent fabrication,” said Obie Kipper Jr., a district manager with the Minneapolis Park and Recreation Board.

So lessee, young unattractive lady who feels like committing fraud but absolutely sucks at lying? I think we’ve heard this song before.

*That’s a really weird title, by the way. It kind of seems like a play on Britney Spears’ semi-clever “If You Seek Amy,” but only kind of. What the hell?