It looks like the women’s tennis tour is going to be down one ingenue for the rest of the year: DOWN THE LINE! reports that Maria Sharapova has officially shut her season down because of the injured right shoulder that kept her out of the US Open. Too much time lifting up that stupid yippy dog so she could take pictures, perhaps? (Man oh man do I hate that dog - I’d like to see Maria see how fast of a first serve she could get by using it instead of a ball.)
As she said on her website, rehab is taking her longer than expected, so she’s pulling out of her remaining dates for the year. (Note: the previous sentence could also apply to Amy Winehouse, making it the only thing the two have in common.)
I’ve been progressing really well but its taking a lot longer than I had selfishly planned. Therefore my team and I decided to ’shut it down’ for the season.
The good news: Sharapova’s already planning on beginning workouts next week to get ready for 2009:
To be quite honest this whole experience has been quite the change to my usual yearly pace. On the weekends I have been able to go home and have a normal quiet life…which is so unusual because my days off during the year are so random. Next week I am going to finally hit my first tennis ball and a few weeks after that my first serves.
The tennis courts haven’t been the same without Sharapova - quieter, but less attractive. If there’s anything that women’s tennis needs right now is a red-hot rivalry, and Sharapova vs. Ana Ivanovic could be that for the game. And like any good rivalry, there’s one way to settle it - on the court, or in leiu of that, in a hot oil wrestling ring.








7:01 pm on September 26th, 2008
No Maria? No problem - Just stick a wig on Novak Djokovic, and no one will know the difference:
http://sportsbybrooks.com/sharapova-not-all-smiles-about-novaks-needling-15482
7:12 pm on September 26th, 2008
I know that frequent commenter McLane thinks she has Man Hands and isn't very attractive. I also know that McLane has a stupid face for a stupid face.
I mean, really, how could you not think Maria is hot? That's like not liking CCR.
7:23 pm on September 26th, 2008
Maria & Ana should play in a strip tennis match - for each game the lose, they have to take off a piece of clothing. Imagine the ratings!
8:32 pm on September 26th, 2008
I'm not saying I wouldn't go fishing with the woman, if you catch my drift, but she's a two-face. And she has broader shoulders than I do.
12:41 am on September 28th, 2008
Sharapova IS hot,man-hands or not!!! Jerry Seinfeld was just WAYYYYY too picky about his women!