Judging by the way his ability to go on long, rambling rants seemingly without the need to take a breath, it’s hard to believe that Texas Tech head football coach Mike Leach has asthma, but that’s the case. THE WIZ OF ODDS reports that Leach, ever the innovator, is turning to an alternative form of treatment: Acupuncture.
Call it the Elf Formation of asthma treatment if you want, but Leach swears it works. He says that it’s dramatically reduced his asthma and other related health problems, and he’s also used it to kick his dependence on smokeless tobacco and coffee. When asked how it work, Leach basically said that they put the needles everywhere:
“Well, I’ve seen that chart there, and I damn sure haven’t had them where the chart suggests some of them go. They definitely put them places where I haven’t had a necessity to dabble in.”
Two points immediately come to mind. First, I’m not knocking the quality of acupuncturists in Lubbock, but I think Coach Leach is being taken advantage of here - it sounds less like he’s seeing a licensed professional, and more like he’s getting groped up by a quack with sewing needles working out of his garage.
And secondly, the places on Mike Leach’s body that he hasn’t “had a necessity to dabble in“? I don’t know where they are, I don’t want to know where they are, and I don’t even want to think about where they are.
Perhaps this explains Coach Leach’s desire to get out to Jamaica to do some recruiting. Along with picking up some wide receivers and defensive backs, maybe he’s also interested in picking up some “alternative pain management” medicines while he’s there. And by “medicines” I mean pot.
Speaking of “getting stuck with pins,” maybe Mike can pick up a “Big 12 Official From Austin” voodoo doll while he’s in the Caribbean.