Tatum Bell, Former NFLer, Has New Gig As Porter

Tatum Bell, porter

  • Rockies manager Clint Hurdle hates the Dodgers because … well, I have no idea. Seems like a lot of energy to waste on a team that won the NL West one time this decade.
  • Toronto Argonauts wide receiver Arland Bruce III breaks out quite possibly the most arbitrary touchdown celebration in the history of tackle football: he donned a Spider-Man mask. Chad Javon Ocho Cinco is unimpressed.
  • This makes sense: Ben Gordon, Chicago Bulls guard and British citizen might consider playing in Russia for the right price. It’s all very urbane. Or maybe he’s just trying to make a few extra bucks on his NBA deal.
  • In a shocking development, Michael Jordan, cigar lover, likes to smoke cigars. This makes the American Cancer Society very sad because it sends a bad message to today’s youth. Seriously, is there anything more depressing than seeing a 4-year-old lighting up a Presidente?
  • This just in: Brett Favre still hates the Packers. In a related story, Peter King will pen Favre’s biography. Working title: “Why I Can’t Quit You, Brett (Call Me)”.