David Chalk of BUGS & CRANKS connects the dots like Donald Sutherland in JFK and realizes the Tampa Bay Rays will hand out the award for best rookie in spring training for the year on the day the Yankees come into town for the first time since their spring training battle.

(We will break you. Squeeze you until you break. Or juice.)

Who’s getting the rather meaningless award in front of the Yankees? Why, it’s Elliot Johnson. He would be the fellow that broke Yankee Francisco Cervelli’s wrist on his hard slide and started the whole affair in March.

Now that award seems fraught with meaning. Perhaps the award will be in the shape of a middle finger and Johnson can hold it up to the Yankees’ bench.

Tampa’s shown a deft touch in PR since the old guard was put out to pasture. David Chalk shows kindness and assumes coincidence; we see conspiracy like Sutherland. In fact, we expect Johnson to slide to the podium, dust himself off, and then break the award over his knee, causing Cervelli to flinch.

Then we expect Andrew Friedman, EVP of the Rays, to step from the podium and point into the Yankees dugout to shout, “Tampa is our town now! You take your senile old man and your cronies and get out by sundown. If elder care transportation is required, you can have until Sunday.

“Also, leave the keys to the city and any hope of the playoffs in the locker room. We’re taking it all back.”

Of course, that would work better if they were still the Devil Rays and could legitimately hit Joe Girardi over the head with a folding chair, but they’ll make due.