Tampa Bay Bucs Going Old School For No Reason

Throwbacks, despite having their flare of popularity earlier in the decade, are still an overall underused aspect of sports. Yes, trotting out new uniforms every so often makes sense in terms of keeping the brand fresh and all, but you can’t tell me the Nets’ bland threads are at all more palatable than their 1980s getups. And the Chargers, well, they know powder blue was the right way to go all along.

Orange Bucs Jerseys
(The horror… the horror…)

But one team that should be running in terror from their pastel ’80s days is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Perpetually the worst team of the late ’70s and ’80s, the Bucs tossed out the orange-pink uniforms 12 years ago and won a Super Bowl within a handful of years. This is no accident. But, as you can surmise from the picture above, they’re back. God help us all.

TBO.COM has the horrible news:

At the end of a 15-minute news conference at the team facility, four current Buccaneer players modeled the 1976 throwback uniforms Tampa Bay will wear Nov. 8 against the Green Bay Packers at Raymond James Stadium.

“We’re now hitting two generations of youngsters who have never seen these orange jerseys,” said [Bucs co-chair Ed] Glazer, who indicated the Bucs will use their throwback jerseys for two games in 2010. “This is our history. This is where it all started.”

NO! No, no, no! If youngsters don’t know about the jerseys, that is better than okay. That is preferred.

Here’s the deal. Those old Buccaneers had - inarguably - two of the greatest college defensive linemen of all time: Lee Roy Selmon and Hugh Green. Both are in the College Football Hall of Fame, having combined for five consensus All-American nominations. Selmon’s in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. And what did they get for their efforts in Buccaneer Orange? One playoff win. One.

Buccaneer Orange is more like Agent Orange. It nearly killed Steve Young before he fled to San Francisco and became one of the greatest quarterbacks of the last 25 years. The team lost each of its first 26 games. They went 14 years without a winning record (except in 1979, when they actually made it to the NFC Championship Game) - then promptly made the playoffs after changing uniforms.

Here’s what we’re getting at: if they wear those hideous shrouds of anguish, somebody’s going to end up dead. Probably. We’re just happy that the failcoloring will be limited to the players’ jerseys, though; we wouldn’t want to put the fans’ lives at ri–

¬†Glazer said Raymond James Stadium will be refurbished Nov. 8 to reflect an orange motif, and players from the ‘76 expansion club are expected to be in attendance.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!