Zombie Scientists Demand Football Players’ Brains

For a lot of players in the NFL, when they retire from the game they like to leave little mementos. Maybe a jersey the player wore in a Super Bowl for the team to put on display somewhere, of if they go on to the Hall of Fame, maybe they’ll give the fine folks in Canton the football they scored that record breaking touchdown with.

Still, while former players giving up some of their possessions after retiring is all well and good, couldn’t they give us more? I mean, what purpose does that glass encased football really serve for the betterment of mankind? Don’t they owe us more than that? Some scientists at Boston University think so, and that’s why after those retired football players die, they’re totally going to harvest their brains.

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