NFL player Zach Thomas’ wife, Maritza Thomas, must have had a deja vu moment when she saw the story of Texans RB Ryan Moats and the abuse he took on his way to see his dying mother-in-law.  That’s because the same cop that stopped Moats once jailed her for three hours and issued five tickets for an illegal U-turn.

(Artist’s rendering of Zach Thomas’ reaction to his wife’s jailing)

The heinous acts (besides the U-turn) that caused five tickets to be issued last July included an incorrect address on a driver’s license and missing a registration sticker on her windshield.  For this, she spent approximately five hours in police custody and then had four of the citations waived in court.

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Mike Florio at PRO FOOTBALL TALK reports that Zach Thomas has agreed to a deal with the Dallas Cowboys that “carries a $1 million signing bonus and a $1 million base salary in 2008. Thomas also can earn up to $1 million in incentives. Though it’s technically a multi-year deal, the structure will make it essentially a one-year relationship.”

The multi-concussed, former Texas Tech Red Raider had previously met with the Patriots (who offered him a contract on the spot) and the New Orleans Saints.

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• ON THE BASELINE serves up word that Maria Sharapova’s promise of a new tennis facility may have been the victim of a Vietnamese joke.

• ESPN’s HASHMARKS knows of one NFL combine combatant not afraid to get his Kenny Chesney on.

• PRO FOOTBALL TALK hikes over word that the Saints have made an offer to Zach Thomas.

• JOE SPORTS FAN needs a friend, as Kelvin Sampson is pretty unpopular with Facebook users.

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• INSOMNIAC’S LOUNGE finds some more super shots of sideline siren Erin Andrews during her skin-tight stint at UCLA. For example, this Bruin backer ignores new football coach Rick Neuheisel for a sight more scintillating:

• The fine fellows at CANOE.ca’s IN YOUR GRILL give SbB a shout-out.

• MR. IRRELEVANT knows that when your b-ball team’s up by 40 with only two minutes left, everything’s gonna be all white.

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If Roger Clemens gets a presidential pardon, we want one, too.

• Who would’ve thought Devean George would be such a power player in NBA trade talks?

• Meanwhile, the Association is gazing across the pond, as there’s plans to put teams in Europe.

• Len Pasquarelli must like his job, as the ESPN writer is back at work after quintuple-bypass surgery.

• But Dan Patrick isn’t as gung-ho about the Worldwide Leader, as he takes a jab at his ex-employer & Chris Berman.

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The Dolphins’ extreme makeover continues. Just a few days after releasing Trent Green & 8 other players, Miami management has told Zach Thomas to take a hike.

The SOUTH FLORIDA SUN-SENTINEL reports that the 7-time Pro Bowler “was told by the Dolphins’ new management that he no longer fits into the team’s long-term plans, and will be released today.” Read more…

• How does a Dolphin deal with a 0-10 season? YOU BEEN BLINDED learns that Zach Thomas tries to dance his blues away with the Soulja Boy:

• PART MULE checks their watch, as it takes only 38 years for Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to enter the college basketball hall of fame:

• The NEW YORK POST scores it 30-love, as tennis queen Serena Williams is seen settling for a Common-er.• The BOSTON GLOBE finds workers at Fenway Park taking the Hot Stove League a little too literally.