Vladimir Putin Releases Judo Instructional DVD

Despite the fracturing of our nation due to the recent venomous spew from both presidential candidates, one thing we can all get together and agree on is that whoever wins, Vladimir Putin can kick their ass. At least, that was the common belief before Putin made the greatest mistake in political history by revealing his secret hand-to-hand combat techniques by releasing an instructional DVD on judo.

Comrade Putin

THE DAILY MAIL has the scoop. The DVD, hilariously entitled “Let’s Learn Judo with Vladimir Putin”, is the work of a collaboration between Putin, who is a 56-year-old black belt, and former Olympic judo champion Yasuhiro Yamashita. No word yet if the DVD includes a cameo by Putin’s 24-year-old gymnastic mistress.

Ass-kicking and risque rendezvous with young women? Putin is basically just Jack Nicholson, isn’t he?

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This Won’t Replace Our Yeltsin Drinking Game

The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports that Russians who want to learn martial arts in the privacy of their own dank, cinder block Soviet-era apartments have had their prayers answered. Russian murderer President Vladimir Putin has released an instructional video on Judo.

Vladimir Putin Judo

Putin recorded the video with Japanese Judo champion Yasuhiro Yamashita, which is intended as a supplement to a Judo manual written by Putin several years ago.

Vladimir Putin Judo

We wouldn’t be afraid to take on Putin in the squared circle, it’s the pre-match meal we’d be worried about.