Hey man. You cool? You look cool, man. Don’t be narc-ing on me or nothin’, all right? Let’s all just be cool. You got any of the good stuff on you? Aw man, you’re sober? Here? Now? Too bad, man, you’re totally missing out.

(Lady Liberty’s reaching me! This is the most intense anthem EVER!)

Don’t look at me funny; I get kinda ‘noided out when people start looking at me funny. Totally harshing my mellow. Like, it’s cool if you’re allergic to LSD or whatever, I got a cousin like that who won’t touch the stuff, that’s cool man! That’s cool. I’m just sayin’, you haven’t lived through the Star Spangled Banner ’til you expand your mind. Aw, hold on, hold on, the show’s about to start! Here we go! This is gonna roooooooooooock!

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You know, there might be something to be said for college football coaches getting out of Dodge right away after “deciding” not to come back next year. Saturday was not kind to the lame duck coach, especially poor Phil Fulmer, who is fading off into the sunset in shockingly dismal fashion.

(Don’t worry, Phil, it’s almost over)

Remember when Tennessee’s loss to UCLA in the season opener was considered an upset? The Vols somehow managed to sink to a new low this week, while Washington is still 0-for-the-season and Kansas State lost their fourth in a row. But it’s Tennessee’s loss that is sending shockwaves through the college football world.

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• THE WIZARD OF ODDS fingers Wyoming coach Joe Glenn saluting Utah for their 43-0 onside kick:

• As a teenage girl sues the Cardinals over a scoreboard message, JOE SPORTS FAN takes a look at other words of wisdom flashed on the Busch Stadium big board.• SPORTS FROG feels queasy in throwing up the sad situation on the Dolphins sidelines.

• GOING FIVE HOLE won’t touch that dial, as NHL commish Gary Bettman will be co-hosting a satellite radio show:

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS thinks its time for Karl Dorrell to ride out of Westwood, but they wouldn’t be thrilled with gunslinger Mike Leach stepping in the UCLA coaching shoes.• RAWLINGS pitches out their 2007 Golden Glove winners.