According to the Hallmark Cards website, “A Babylonian youth named Elmesu carved the first known Father’s Day card in clay nearly 4,000 years ago. His special message wished his father good health and a long life.” Since that ancient card-thingy, celebrations of father-child relationships have taken many forms. In Germany, the traditional Father’s Day celebration includes a men’s-only hiking tour in which the hikers pull one or more small wooden wagons containing beer and sausage. (No, really.) In many parts of the United States, the occasion calls for chintzy cards and bad neckties.
As with many aspects of life, however, Florida handles things differently and ass-backwards. At least, that’s what the actions of former Hillsborough County commissioner and WWF(E?) wrestler Brian Blair (above left) would lead us to believe. You see, Blair chose to commemorate that most sacred of bonds, the bond between parent and child, by beating the crap out of his two teenage sons on Father’s Day. Hey, Brian? YOU’RE (allegedly) DOING IT WRONG.
If you plan to attend the next Wrestlemania in the upper deck, and you are made of ham, you might want to consider buying a can of that handy, flame-retardant foam we know WWE is required by law to sell at all Wrestlemania concession stands.
WFTV reports the scary news today that, “More than 40 people were hurt when fireworks and cables landed on the crowd packed in the Citrus Bowl for WrestleMania on Sunday night, according to the Orlando Fire Department.“
• UNPROFESSIONAL FOUL points out there’s only one thing worse than having a curiously organized mob looking to hurt you for calling penalties against a popular and well-connected Italian soccer team: looking like the referee that called penalties against a popular and well-connected Italian soccer team when the mob walks by.