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• Lois Feldman, the unwitting star of the Metrodome sex scandal, says she may have been slipped a mickey before making bathroom whoopee.
• We kick up some video of Bruce Lee playing ping pong with nunchucks.
• Boston baseball fans can now rest in piece the Red Sox way.
• For only $149, you, too, can get a head start on which sport to over-pressure your kids to be good at.
Here’s a mostly sad story: Former University of Wisconsin defensive back Leonard Taylor has been taken into custody for making “specific death threats” to two popular sports personalities, two who couldn’t be any more different. The first at least makes some kind of weird sense - UW Athletic Director Barry Alvarez - but the second takes quite a few leaps of logic to get there: tennis babe Maria Sharapova.
(Beauty and the Beast, both threatened)
Of course, we’ll probably not get much in the way of “logic” when it comes to getting a reason for that second death threat. Taylor is a “paranoid schizophrenic, has been off his medications for three months and was not seeing his therapist”. Not a good mix.
And what, pray tell, exactly constitutes a “death threat”?
• We’re staying positive about South Florida coach Jim Leavitt - positive that he’s gone bonkers at this press conference.
(Really, Jim, you need to cool off)
• What folks could be asking come January: Who let the Vick out? (Who? Who-who?)
• A Idaho high school football fighter flattens his coach - and it’s finally caught on tape!
• Meanwhile, this Sixers cheerleader falls head over heels, and it hurts.
We have set a new low for what constitutes hazing, and it comes to us from Wisconsin, where the Badgers’ famous marching band has been under fire for allegations of misconduct since October. The entire Badger band was even suspended for Wisconsin’s much-ballyhooed night game against Ohio State, which the Buckeyes pulled out with a late touchdown. Surely, then, there must have been a great deal of–oh christ you have to be kidding me:
(OH GOD IT’S THAT WORD AGAIN COVER YOUR EYES OH GOD THEY SAY IT OVER AND OVER)
A few previously unreported examples of inappropriate behavior by band members included singing a cadence that includes the word vagina, placing a condom on a banana and a game involving alcohol in which some band members formed a “hamster cage” for other students using torn up pages of phone books.
Not “vagina”! Nooooooooooooo! Read more…
• Brewers fans were hoping Ben Sheets would get fired up for the postseason run, but probably not in this way.
• Roger Clemens is “heartbroken” that he was left out of the Yankee Stadium finale’s honor roll.
• Your 2009 BCS championship game - Wisconsin vs. Utah?!
• A church in Michigan hopes to boost attendance by allowing parishoners to put on sports jerseys for the Sunday services.
• Another wardrobe malfunction for the Idaho Vandals - first, the football players have ‘I’s on their butts, and now the school thinks its cheerleaders are too scantily clad.
College football fans - how do you feel about a BCS Title Game between Wisconsin and Utah? The downside: outside of fans of either school, no one knows more than two players on the two teams combined. The upside: at least it’s not Ohio State, ready to get shellacked by an SEC school again.
The LOS ANGELES TIMES reports that title game match-up reflects the top two teams in the Colley Matrix, one of six computer ranking systems used to determine the BCS rankings. The match-up also goes to show why the Massey Rankings - another of the six - comes with the following disclaimer:
Even with the excuse of having Chris “Beanie” Wells sitting out the game with a foot injury, the fact that Ohio State needed a pair of fourth-quarter touchdowns to pull out a 26-14 victory over Ohio on Saturday is pretty shocking. Especially considering the following facts:
• Dan Hinote isn’t the only hockey player to enjoy the company of hot blondes, as YAHOO’s PUCK DADDY slides over the sights & sounds of Igor Larionov’s Hall of Fame party in Hollywood.
• Darren Rovell of CNBC runs up a remembrance of Reebok’s classic “Dan & Dave” Olympic ad campaign.
• The WISCONSIN STATE JOURNAL finds Barry Alvarez unapologetic for the Badgers’ soft non-conference slate, claiming that Joe Paterno & Bear Bryant have done the same thing.
• Speaking of America’s Dairyland, say hello to your finalists for the Milwaukee Bucks’ Energee! Dance Team.
• DEADSPIN snorts up news that Jaguars receiver Matt Jones was arrested in Arkansas for cocaine & marijuana possession.
Maybe he’s just preparing himself for the Jags’ potential move to L.A.
• GOTHAMIST purrs at the latest fashion accessory Mets pitchers are sporting these days - Hello Kitty backpacks.
• LARRY BROWN SPORTS finds Lance Berkman taking a swing at those who are afraid to participate in the Home Run Derby.
• THE WIZARD OF ODDS can’t wait to put up their awesome 2008 USC Trojans football poster. Not bad, but this will always be our favorite sports schedule wall decoration:
• 100% INJURY RATE wonders what the holy hell is up with a columnist who believes Shaun Alexander can’t get a job because he’s too Christian.
• Kevin Seifert of ESPN discovers the Vikings’ Kenechi Udeze is getting some brotherly help in his fight against leukemia.
• Minda of the LADIES… takes us on a Royal three-day adventure around Kauffman Stadium. Sadly, she didn’t partake in any KC BBQ during her trip. For shame!
• Eddie Sefko of the DALLAS MORNING NEWS calls in word that Shaq’s anti-Kobe rap is now available as a cell phone ring tone.
