Well-Liked Iowa HS Football Coach Shot To Death

Ed Thomas, a popular Iowa high school football coach who saw many of his players make it to the NFL, was shot & killed in the school’s weight room this morning.

Ed Thomas Parkersburg HS football coach

• Road tripping, Wisconsin style: Driving home drunk in a golf cart.

• Break out the blindfolds - Oregon’s new football uniforms are here.

Terrell Owens gets cursed out by teammate Joanna Krupa for getting themselves eliminated on ABC’s “Superstars”.

• No “Moneyball” movie means no sex scenes between Billy Beane & an Outback Steakhouse waitress.

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Kids Urinated In Soda At High School Hoops Game

The MILWAUKEE JOURNAL-SENTINEL has some disturbing news for those attending basketball games last month at a local high school.

Prince

(Silver lining?)

Police are asking the Washington County district attorney to issue felony juvenile charges against three Hartford Union High School students accused of urinating in people’s beverages.

While police were investigating a complaint that two junior boys put urine in soda at a basketball game last month, they learned of another incident that occurred in November, Police Chief David Groves said Tuesday. In the two unrelated cases, people unknowingly drank from the tainted beverages, police said.

And to think I thought all the old VHS copies of Hollywood Knights were out of circulation! Or was it Porky’s?

Should the kids involved have criminal records for peeing into soda cups?

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Novak Can’t Take No More Of Aussie Open’s Heat

Andy Roddick roasts Novak Djokovic in the Aussie Oven Open quarters.

Novak Djokovic Australian Open

(Novak can’t wait to get back to those shivering Serbian winters)

Oscar De La Hoya paid $5 million for MMA event - and he didn’t even have to fight!

• A friendly reminder to Super Bowl attendees looking for adventure - the Tampa area does have a thriving gentlemen’s club industry.

• And if that’s too tame, there’s always prostitution - until you see the kind of Tampa trick-spinners the cops are dragging in.

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Gay Softball World Series Coming To Wisconsin

Hello, Wisconsin! The KENOSHA NEWS reports that the North American Gay Amateur Athletic Alliance will be holding the Gay Softball World Series to their city south of Milwaukee starting August 31, bringing together more than 4,000 players from 37 leagues for what they call the “Super Bowl of Gay Softball.” I wonder if Dean Cain is going to be bringing his “Broken Hearts Club” team there?

Broken Hearts Club movie

Of course, it wasn’t without its share of controversy, as one Kenosha alderman (they are like City Councilmen, except…actually, exactly like City Councilmen) expressed concerns that letting the organization pay money to the city to rent the park for a week would be tantamount to endorsing gay marriage. Seriously. Not surprisingly, no movie theaters within 15 miles of Kenosha are showing “Milk” either.

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Court Has To Decide If Cheerleading Is A Sport

Chalk this one up to the, “but didn’t we already know that?” department: After a few weeks of legal wrangling, it can now officially be confirmed that cheerleading is not a contact sport. It’s not. In fact, even though it most assuredly isn’t, you probably wish it was: According to a Wisconsin appellate court, cheerleading doesn’t qualify as a contact sport because, “it does not involve physical contact between opponents.” Evidently the third-quarter gift exchange doesn’t count. Now a defendant’s only hope for avoiding a pricey trial and verdict might be to push the decision one-stop further, hoping that the Wisconsin Supreme Court decides cheerleading isn’t a sport at all.

redskins cheerleader
(This isn’t a sport? Really? Please say it’s a sport again.)

The decision was brought — and made relevant — by a case filed by ninth-grade cheerleader Brittany Noffke, who sued fellow Holmen High School cheerleader Kevin Bakke for failing to properly spot her while practicing a three-person stunt, according to the MARQUETTE UNIVERSITY LAW SCHOOL FACULTY BLOG. As you’ve probably already pieced together, Noffke fell while being thrust upwards during the stunt, suffered a head injury and sued Bakke for negligence.

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Wisc. Woman Steals Daughter’s Identity To Cheer

When I was a little kid, I wanted to be the first person in history to hit 100 home runs with the Chicago White Sox, throw 100 touchdowns with the Chicago Bears, and average 50 points a game for the Chicago Bulls all in one season.  Oh, and I wanted to be an astronaut and cure cancer too.  As I grew up, of course, it became pretty obvious that the dream just wasn’t going to come true.

Wendy Brown 33-year-old posing as her 15-year-old daughter

It’s the same thing that the overwhelming majority of people experience in their lives as adulthood comes on and the real world crushes their hopes and dreams.  For some people, though, it’s just impossible to let go.  That’s the case for 33-year old Wisconsin woman Wendy Brown, who always wanted to be a cheerleader growing up.  Unfortunately for Wendy, it never happened, but she never gave up hope.  Which is why she stole her teenage daughter’s identity and enrolled in high school this fall.

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Marathoner: “I Can Live a Good Life Without Toes”

We told you it was cold in Wisconsin last weekend - so cold it turns out, that an Iowa runner is about to lose some body parts.

Otter Pops

The ASSOCIATED PRESS has the chilling news that 27-year-old Andrew Wells fell victim to frostbite during a day-long run in the Frozen Otter Ultra Trek. As a result, he’ll have to have some appendages amputated.

Despite temperatures dipping to 15 below zero, Andrew was the only runner to reach the 40-mile checkpoint. In fact, he got turned around and ended up back at the starting line - spending almost 17 hours outside in freezing conditions. Sadly, his icy victory came at a price.

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NFL Warns Wisc. Theaters From Showing Packers

The NFL is seeing red over movie theaters showing Green Bay’s playoff game this Saturday.

Seattle Seahawks Green Bay Packers

The MILWAUKEE JOURNAL SENTINEL reports that the league has sent cease-and-desist letters to three Wisconsin cinemas over their plans to put the Packers on their big screens.

The NFL argues that the theaters showing the game are violating copyright law. One movie house - the Fox Bay Cinema Grill in suburban Milwaukee - has already conceded to cancel their showing. However, the two other theaters in question - the Rivoli in Lacrosse & the Majestic in Madison - say they haven’t received any letters from the league.

And owners of the Rivoli say their presentation will go on as planned.

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Pack on NFL Network Means Big Bucks For Wisc. Bars

PACKERS NFL NETWORK GAMES BRING BARS BIG BUSINESS: Fans in Wisconsin are getting all gear up for tonight’s clash between 10-1 Green Bay and 10-1 Dallas down in Texas.

Cowboys Packers bar

Unfortunately, the game is on the NFL Network - a channel not received in many Badger State homes. As a result, Packer fans hate to do this, but they’ll have to hit the bars to watch the game.The JANESVILLE (WI) GAZETTE reports how local drinking establishments guzzle up big business when Green Bay gets Packed onto the NFL Network. For example, they’re expecting big crowds tonight at HHFFRRRGGH.

HHFFRRRGGH bar logo

(We didn’t fall asleep on the keyboard, that’s the actual name of the bar. It’s really a perfect moniker, since that’s what you hear outside at closing time after an evening of downing Milwaukee’s Best.)But if HHFFRRRGGH is Packed in, the LACROSSE TRIBUNE has some other suggestions in order to enjoy the game:

Packers bar liquor

The Rivoli Theater will be showing the showdown on the big screen, much like a Milwaukee cinema did for Badgers games on the Big Ten Network. However, the seats have been sold out for days.Still, you can always listen to the game on the radio, just like the olden days. Or if you’re desperate enough, head down to Texas Stadium and pick up a $1200 seat.

Wisconsin Lawmakers Working To Lift Blackouts on Packers and Badgers Games

WISC. LAWMAKERS SEEING RED OVER PACKER BLACKOUTS: If there’s one thing that can bring a divided government together, it’s the passion over the Green Bay Packers:

Brett Favre Wisconsin Capitol

The MADISON (WI) CAPTIAL TIMES reports that a couple of Wisconsin lawmakers - one Democrat, one Republican - are crossing party lines to help solve the problem of Packers blackouts on TV.The resolution also wants to insure that U of Wisconsin games can be viewed by the folks of the Badger State.

This Saturday, the Badgers face Ohio State in a match-up shown by the Big Ten Network. However, large cable providers in the state like Charter don’t carry the channel. (Yet, smaller providers like the Mt. Horeb Telephone Company do.)

The proposed bill would also affect the NFL Network, in the event Brett Favre & pals find themselves under Rich Eisen’s watchful eye.

Green Bay Packers town parade

Co-sponsoring senator Dave Hansen knows any legislation would be popularly passed: “Love of the Packers and Badgers is a common bond that unites our diverse state and brings families and friends together.”How touching.