If you’re born with a stutter, don’t go into public speaking. If you’re born without hands and feet, don’t go into MMA. And if you’re allergic to grass, maybe professional tennis player isn’t the job for you.

Viktor Troicki is allergic to grass, and not in the Rafael-Nadal-is-only-good-on-clay sense. As if having to play national hero [...]

• Say what you will about Michael Irvin, but he sure knows how to help people have a good time at gentlemen’s clubs.

• Tennis commentator Michael Stich comments that the female competitors at Wimbledon are only there to “sell sex“. Why would he think such a scandalous thought?
• Former WWF wrestler Brian Blair shows what [...]

As Scott mentioned in this morning’s Speed Read, Caroline Wozniacki has made it to the third round of Wimbledon. After disposing of SI swimsuit model Maria Kirilenko in the previous round, the 9th-ranked Wozniacki is getting set to face Anabel Medina Garriques of Spain.

And what better way to wish the delectable Dane luck than with [...]

• Shaq will be lacing ‘em up with LeBron on a more continual basis, as the Big Cactus becomes the newest member of the Cavaliers.

• Rodney Harrison is sick of the whole Brett Favre brouhaha, too.
• Boston sure loves their Rajon Rondo – well, everyone except Celtics GM Danny Ainge.
• An Oklahoma mom is sentenced [...]

Apparently we have a new poster girl of tennis (why was I not informed sooner?) after Argentine Gisela Dulko upset Maria Sharapova in the second round of Wimbledon on Wednesday. But lovely Gisela took a back seat today to a ball girl who got swamped by the press after having played against Tommy Haas on [...]

Our tremendous trip of tennis babes in bikinis continues this week. When we last left the court, Maria Kirilenko & Tatiana Golovin were strutting their stuff for SI’s swimsuit issue. Now comes word that another lobbing looker is ready to make her modeling mark in the printed pages during these wild ‘n’ woolly weeks of [...]

It’s been called “poodle-in-heat/cat-being-strangled ejaculations“. It’s been likened to a “small dog being tortured“. The GUARDIAN referred to it as “sounds usually heard in a hospital maternity ward“. We’re referring, of course, to Gus Johnson. No no, we kid. We kid because we care.

(Our heroine, in happier times. Also, dude, she’s 16.)
We’re really referring to [...]

Adidas is no Nike (or even Reebok in its prime), but one thing the company does have on lock is tennis sponsorships. Hell, I just turned on Wimbledon and one of the girls was wearing a cute little Adidas dress. Or really, she’s wearing a dress and she’s cute. Whatever, go turn it on.

(Stefanie Voegele. [...]

• Your 2009 U.S. Open winner is someone not named Tiger Woods.

• Mark Cuban would like ESPN to put together a blacklist of sports blogs.
• Did longtime NBA star-turned-Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson get a U.S. inspector general fired?
• Coming soon to delightfully dance on a collegiate sideline near you – the William & Mary Asparagus?
• [...]

If there’s one thing the Germans are noted for, it’s their tolerance and open mindedness when it comes to sensitive social issues. So here’s Michael Stich, famed tennis athlete and broadcaster, fanning the flames of equality at the start of Wimbledon with an observation on women’s tennis.

(Right: Maria Kirilenko, not playing tennis)
Stich, the 1991 men’s [...]