The wait is over. The University of Texas brain trust has spent the last few months in a secret underground bunker, furiously debating who will be the next head coach of their esteemed college program. And now, as you can see by the white smoke hovering above the campus, the Longhorn Conclave has finally given us their answer: defensive coordinator Will Muschamp will succeed Mack Brown. That is, whenever Brown decides to retire. Wait, what?

(Aww … they’re already starting to act alike.)

According to CHRON.COM, Muschamp has been named “head football coach-in-waiting”, which is not a title you see every day. Essentially, Muschamp is taking some extra dough - reportedly $900,000 worth - to kind of just hang around and at least pretend to be happy with his coordinator position until Brown finally decides to hang up his spurs.

It’s kind of a stroke of brilliance by Texas.

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• His bloodlust not satisfied with a blowout win over Florida Atlantic, EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY spots Texas Longhorns defensive coordinator Will Muschamp drawing some blood on his own.

We swear we’ve seen (and heard) this kind of sideline excitement before.

• WITH LEATHER catches Cincinnati’s mascot Bear-ly avoiding a parachuting Cat-astrophe.

• THE SPORTING BLOG shares news that the parents of Tony Stewart are worried that the womanizing NASCAR star’s special little friend might someday “rot off“.

• THE BIG LEAD elects to examine the unfolding political war of words between Gilbert Arenas & Baron Davis.

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ESPN KNOWS AUBURN ASSISTANT SWEARS BY HIS DEFENSE: Funny how during low-scoring snooze-fests, the lack of passion on the field can be made up for by the staff off it. First, the Zooker shoves a cameraman after the Illini’s 10-6 loss to Iowa. Now, we find an Auburn coach selecting some choice in-game words when talking about the opposition:

(Above video features NSFW language)
While televising Auburn’s 9-7 triumph over Arkansas, ESPN microphones caught Tigers defensive coordinator Will Muschamp giving his tough troops some uncensored encouragement.Auburn had just made another stand against QB Casey Dick and the lackluster Razorback offense. (The play included Mike Patrick calling the action as, “Dick pressured in the end zone.“)

As the D came off the field, Muschamp could be heard over the air greeting his kids with these ribald remarks:

“Boom! Motherf—er, yeah! That’s what I’m talking about! Knock these motherf—ers out!“

Oblivious to Muschamp’s audible outburst, ESPN analyst Todd Blackledge quickly commented, “Well, Will Muschamp just has to be thrilled with the way his defense has been playing.”

F— yeah, he’s thrilled!