I laughed exactly zero times in those 108 seconds. But if you enjoy the Ferrell formula of no clever dialogue (unless you consider telling a referee ‘suck my c—, I’ll murder your family‘ clever) and cheap, physical gags to get laughs, it appears you’ll relish “Semi-Pro.”
OK, that was a letdown, but here’s a comedic production that’s actuall funny, albeit with a slightly lower budget:
Looks like it wasn’t a good year for sports cinema. SPORTS BUSINESS DAILY reports that only one athletically-inclined film cracked the top 20 list of money-making movies in 2007.
(CNBC’s Darren Rovell in his role in ‘Blades of Glory 2: Icelandic Boogaloo’)
According to THE MOVIE TIMES, “Blades of Glory”, the figure skating farce starring Will Ferrell and Jon Heder (a.k.a. Napoleon Dynamite) finished at #20, grossing over $118 million since its March release.
Only four other sports-related films placed in the top 100, including the memorable ping pong saga “Balls of Fury” (#71, $32 million) and the charmingly-named “Mr. Woodcock” (#81, $25 million). If you’re curious to see where “Who’s Your Caddy?” landed, check this list.
But fear not, sports cinephiles - next year’s “Semi-Pro” is certain to go box office boffo!
• CNBC’s Darren Rovell is certain to scare the kiddies with his Halloween get-up of Will Ferrell from “Blades of Glory“:
• WAGGLE ROOM wants a 40% cut, as they tee off on news that Michelle Wie’s 2nd-straight agent has left the fairway.
• THE BEAUTIFUL GAME shares the excitement over this beautiful goal.
• HUGGING HAROLD REYNOLDS passes the test tubes to Mad Dr. Stern, who’s spent years in the NBA labs to create the perfect basketball specimen - Steve Nash?
• The ST. PETERSBURG TIMES flushes away those critics who would poo-poo South Florida’s BCS spot at Number 2.
• ENTOURAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE predicts they won’t care who you pick in this weekend’s games.
HOLY COW! SOLDIER DOES FERRELL DOING HARRY CARAY: When you’re stationed thousands of miles from home, fighting to keep yourself and your comrades alive, you try to find some levity to make the most of the situation.
COLLEGE HUMOR offers up video of a U.S. soldier in Iraq trying to inject some humor into a routine vehicle inspection. The grunt gets some grins from his fellow troops by talking like Harry Caray. Check that - talking like Will Ferrell talking like Harry Caray.In a gravelly, exaggerated voice, the soldier asks one of the stopped men, “Do you have any weapons of mass destruction?” He follows that zinger up with, “If you had a weapon made of barbecue spare ribs, would you eat it?”
All the confused Iraqi can do is smile and respond, “No understand.”
The GI actually does quite a good job capturing the essence of the ex-SNL’er mimicking the late Cubs caller. And for that, we salute you. Oh, and also for defending the country.But to get a better idea of the original source, we present some other Caray-esque carriers-on to evaulate. Such as:
WHAT WILL BE THE ONLY FUNNY MOMENT FOR YOUR $14: Another hastily-slapped-together sports movie by Will Ferrell is in the offing, this time something called “Semi-Pro“:
The release is a fictional account of an ABA team in the mid-’70s, and no doubt the trailer(s) will contain the only funny moments in the film:
The fun began during a local Sunday football league match between New Brighton and Christchurch Chinese United, when a Brightonite threw the ball at the back of the Chinese United goalie’s head.
Before referee Steven Cross could intervene, players from both sides came on the field and started with the punching, kicking and screaming. As he tried to break up a fight, Cross said he was “smacked in the mouth” by one of the Chinese United players. He also claimed that a 2nd Chinese United player attacked him during the melee.
Meanwhile, members of the Chinese United squad felt there was a little racial motivation from the other side in wanting the fight, saying that New Brighton players kept calling them “Chinese f*cks” throughout the match.
Soccer official Wayne Stapely says violence seems to be more common in local Sunday leagues, since many “ethnic” teams play against each other, bringing out more than your average game-day emotions:
“It does happen more in the Sunday League, where we have a lot of ethnic teams. They’re passionate people about their sport.”
Maybe these players should spend less time on the pitch and more time back in Sunday school.
NO WILL TO STOMACH ANOTHER FERRELL SPORTS COMEDY: CINEMATICAL helps fire up the buzz about Will Ferrell’s next movie:
No, the flick isn’t about neck hair electrolysis. Instead, we’re talking about a serious subject in the SbB household: ABA basektball.
Early next year, Ferrell and “Old School” screenwriter Scot Armstrong will give us a script which features Hollywood’s Big Bird hitting the hardwood as a character on the “Flint Tropics”.
We’ve never been one for an assist, but this time we’ll pass. Not because the concept is inept, but Ferrell’s fast-food approach to these sports comedies turns our stomach.
WILL FERRELL ONCE AGAIN MAKING GEORGE SEGAL PROUD: ETONLINE has an exclusive with the George Segal of our generation, Will Ferrell, on the set of Ferrell’s sports movie of the moment: “Semi-Pro”.
Former ESPN and Fox Sports anchor Kevin Frazier, looking clownish as a forced, unfunny fake character for the movie, resurfaces to conduct the interview with Ferrell (which is set in the days of the ABA).
Some very brief, albeit *scintillating* one-on-one action between the two is included in the clip, which has Ferrell huffing and puffing more than Tommy Lasorda after solving his hotel Spectravision navigation on an off day in Milwaukee.
Ferrell played football, basketball and baseball and we’re sad to report that “by all accounts took each sport seriously“. He mostly made his athletic mark as a kicker for the school’s football team, making 14 field goals and 41 of 50 PATS.
But as you might expect, that’s not how he’s remembered by head coach Rick Curtis: “Running around with no clothes on, jumping into lockers. Will liked the camaraderie and team aspect of football. He would be serious when he needed to be, but he was probably planning a practical joke most of the time.”
Ferrell was a bench player on the school’s hoops squad. Coach Steve Scoggin: “His shot was a work in progress, but Will was real hardnosed, a grinder. He was willing to do the dirty work.”
After Ferrell went on to attend USC, University High assistant football coach Mark Cunningham ran into his father and learned that Ferrell was doing stand-up comedy.
Cunningham then checked out his act and thought, “Wow, Will had better get his degree because he’s horrible.”
WILL FERRELL AS USC STRENGTH COACH SNEAK PREVIEW: NFL Network tomorrow will air this comedy piece with Will Ferrell as USC auxiliary strength and conditioning coach “Chuck Berry” - who prepares USC offensive lineman Ryan Kalil for the biggest day of his football career:
The video co-stars Pete Carroll and “Little Matty” Leinart.
Get ready to grab your sides to keep them from splitting! Here’s the clip:
