Speed Read: Has Twittering Gotten Out Of Hand?

We ask because, at this point, we could almost start a blog updating solely with news about Twittering athletes, coaches and GMs. Yesterday, we wrote about the infamous tweets of the Buffalo Bills and Brian Burke. Sunday, we wrote about Mark Cuban. And you know what? There are two more breaking Twitter stories this morning.

Mark Cuban

According to the ASSOCIATED PRESS, the inevitable fine against Cuban came down on Monday, and it landed with the resounding thud of $25,000. Considering the fact that Cuban’s rant was exactly 140 characters, Cuban was paying approximately $178.57 per letter for his screed against J.R. Smith. Not surprisingly, Cuban was none too happy about being lighter in the wallet, and he responded by questioning whether outlets - like, say, SPORTSbyBROOKS - has the right to re-publish his tweet, getting attention for it and, thus, earning him fines.

The answer, as pointed out by FANHOUSE, is a resounding “yes”. Because Cuban’s profile is set to public, we all get to read and re-publish his thoughts. That’s pretty much the definition of fair use. Yet the most interesting line of Cuban’s entire discussion with the FANHOUSE folks is his closing sentence:

@NBAFanHouse not close. I like to create discussion. makes things interesting

Yes, yes he does. At a cost of approximately $25G a pop.

Meanwhile, Celtics star Paul Pierce pulled off his best Shaquille O’Neal impersonation, giving away free tickets to Boston fans who showed up at his car and proffered up the pre-listed password (which, cornily enough, was “truth”). The first five jokers who have been stalking Twitter in their Paul Pierce 34 jerseys and jumped at the chance to meet him got the free seats, and web site BOSTONCS was there to chronicle the whole experience.

paul pierce twitter tickets

All of this got us thinking: Has Twitter officially jumped the shark? What started as a slightly clever way to send instant inside jokes became instantly cool when a few athletes re-discovered their inner dork, and it’s now gone so mainstream that mediocre stars need to imitate the big shots just to stay culturally relevant.

Add to that the mind screw that is Cuban doing anything — the eternal debate of whether he’s doing it because he thinks it’s cool, whether he’s doing it to manipulate the media and fans, whether he’s doing it for both reasons or whether we should even care because he’s such a tool — and maybe we’ve reached the point that we should all blow Twitter off indefinitely … or at least until Anna Kournikova shows up and starts describing what it’s like to get dressed in the morning.

Some news last night wasn’t quite fit to Tweet, because it hasn’t been completely wrapped up. As Jason first wrote last night, it sure looks like John Calipari is heading toward a long-distance commute from Memphis to Lexington, Ky.  Of course, we don’t know that’s true … yet, but there are plenty of reasons to believe the substantial rumors, one of which is this camera, which — as DEADSPIN first reported yesterday — is permanently trained on the door of Memphis’s Athletic Department.

John Calipari

In fact, the whole “Cal to Kentucky” bit is getting so much attention that, as Tuffy first coined in an email last night, you have believe the video alluded to in the ESPN.com screenshot below would lead to a camera trained directly on Calipari’s personal bedroom.

calipari espn.com screenshot

We’re betting it’s going to happen, and that it will happen sooner rather than later. And you know what? In the end, it’s a good thing for college basketball. After all, how great will it be to have Calipari and Rick Pitino facing off against each other in an annual turf war? And just think! This time it won’t just be about who can cheat to land recruits more effectively!

And just when you thought former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich’s pantomime villain routine couldn’t get any more obvious, it turns out he named a secret agreement to sell Wrigley Field to the state of Illinois — all in return for numerous tax breaks for former Cubs owner Sam Zellafter a throwaway joke in the Blues Brothers.

elwood blues license

Blagojevich referred to the Wrigley Field negotiations as “Operation Elwood”, named in honor of Elwood Blues (also known as Dan Aykroyd), whose listed address on his driver’s license was Wrigley Field.

It’s yet another ridiculous chapter from a brazenly agressive civil tyrant, but then again, what do you expect from a guy who, just months after being impeached from office, is already guest hosting talk radio shows and hand picking the callers.

  • Enough with real news, lets try to manufacture some that involves incredibly attractive people. Like Alyonka Larionov, who may or may not be dating either Alexander Ovechkin or Pavel Datsyuk. She’s also a budding viral video star, so maybe she’ll be dating someone else to keep her in the news soon, too.

alyonka larionov

mma keith jardine

  • Just because we haven’t covered enough Twitter addiction today: USC Coach Pete Carroll’s ridiculous campaign to get buddy Will Farrell on Twitter reached new heights, including this self-produced video.

jensen button girlfriend

If you were a pro athlete, would you Twitter?

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Too Much Spartan Spirit Claims Another Receiver

As any graduate of Michigan State University can tell you, the football program has a bit of a “record” when it comes to players not acting as exemplary citizens off the field. My own college years there were during the heyday of Jeff Smoker, the drug-addled quarterback with the unfortunate last name. Recently, former Spartan WR Plaxico Burress has been in the news for something-or-other. And now we have ourselves another former Spartan player on the wrong side of the police blotter: Mr. Charles Rogers.

Cheri Oteri, Will Ferrell

(”Who’s got Spartan Spirit?”)

Rogers, as you’ll remember, was one of the biggest draft busts in recent memory after he was chosen by the Lions as the second overall pick in 2003. (Fun Fact: The next pick in the draft was Andre Johnson.) Rogers lasted three seasons in the league, caught a grand total of 36 passes, collected four TDs, and then essentially drugged himself out of football. But where is he now? Try on Michigan’s Most Wanted list.

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Phew! Will Ferrell Unfunny Streak Not In Jeopardy

The WIZ OF ODDS reports that Thursday Will Ferrell made another appearance at USC football practice, this time playing “Captain Compete”:

Will Ferrell Captain Compete USC practice

Much like Ferrell’s movies, the USC players and coaches were treated to a couple mildly amusing sight gags. But based on Ferrell’s dialogue, I’m glad the man behind Funnyordie.com isn’t being judged by that standard. Video after the jump.

Is Will Ferrell still funny?

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Brog: All The Big Macs I Want, Thanks To Laila Ali!

In my drive from Miami to Los Angeles, I’m not even halfway home yet, as I come to you today from lovely Lake Charles, Louisiana. I’m hoping to make it to El Paso tonight, if I can effectively steer clear of the thousands of Taco Cabanas and Whataburgers that I”ll encounter along the way.

Being on the road, you never realize how much you miss tomatoes until you eat fast food every meal. If the Mexicans start pooping in liquid cheese too, I’ll soon be shorting Taco Bell stock.

Also on the subject of fast food, I live mostly now on the west coast, so Hardees is off my radar screen. But it seems every other billboard driving through the South pimps the chain’s “Thickburger”. Who’s the marketing wizard who came up with that name?

Kim Kardashian Thickburger

As bad a name as that is, Hardees could still save face with an ad campaign featuring Reggie Bush’s favorite menu item. With the chain owned by Carls, Jr., which has featured plenty of sexually-charged commercial spots, it’s probably only a matter of time.

Speaking of liquid cheese, my crummy diet has me a little concerned about my newly-expanded waistline. So thank goodness I spotted this in SBD today, “Boxer Laila Ali, who is six-months pregnant, will be featured in a global print and TV campaign for Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula stretch mark products. Ads are slated to run on broadcast outlets and in major magazines in the fall.

Laila Ali Palmers Stretchmarks Endorsement

Laila Ali for stretch marks products? How that endorsement opportunity eluded Buster Douglas lo these many years remains a mystery

Pete Carroll Will Ferrell

Or at the very least, a product placement pop in the latest Will Ferrell vehicle?

Here’s to all the folks in FL, MS, LA and TX for helping keep my speed down. That’s mainly thanks to discriminating locals driving cars that look exactly like those used by State Troopers. How can Ford and GM be struggling so when all those factory-fresh Crown Vics are flying off the lots from Lafayette to Lake Charles?

I’d like to ask the good folks at Hilton and Marriott a question. How are you able to keep your hotel rooms clean, as it seems all your maids only camp outside my room all morning - every morning. On the bright side, I’ve absolutely nailed the Spanish words for “toilet brush“.

From this week’s Comcast SportsNet appearance by Jonathan Papelbon - as the Bosox closer talked about the Devil Rays (1:35 in) (video after the jump): Read more…

Blog Jam: Sutcliffe Concerned About Erin’s Skirt

• WITH LEATHER catches wind of Rick Sutcliffe rather wanting to discuss Erin Andrews’ skirt blowing up than his own cancer treatments.

Rick Sutcliffe Erin Andrews

However, DEADSPIN diagnoses the case of one blogger who’s sick & tired of Erin’s treatment.

• ARROWHEAD ADDICT is on the warpath after hearing that Kevin Costner is a Chiefs fan.

• MONDESI’S HOUSE laughs at the Altoona Curve’s attempts to bring Will Ferrell to town.

Michael David Smith of AOL FANHOUSE tosses along news that a judo Olympian may take a jab at MMA - if it’s okay with her mom.

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Blog-Some: “Semi-Pro” Falls Flat, Only Earns $15M

• VARIETY shoots up news that “Semi-Pro” was the top grossing film of last weekend, but netted only $15 million - “the lowest opening for a major Will Ferrell comedy in almost a decade.”

Semi-Pro Jackie Moon Dick Pepperfield

• In honor of Felix Pie’s twisted testicle, 100% INJURY RATE painfully looks back on some of the more unusual injuries to have befallen athletes.

• The BALTIMORE SUN is shattered that the Orioles’ Kevin Millar decided to break out the pink bat, only to have it splinter after two trips to the plate.

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At The Movies: Ferrell’s “Semi-Pro” Semi-Hilarious

You may not have heard, but there’s this little movie called “Semi-Pro” that’s just hit theaters. It’s the inspiring ’70s tale of Jackie Moon - owner, player, and coach of the Flint Tropics - who oh so desperately wants to get his team into the NBA.

Jackie Moon shoe as a weapon

Well, we dribbled our way to the local cineplex to catch the latest masterpiece from the man that is the manifestation of comedy itself - Will Ferrell. Would his newest film bounce it way into our hearts? Read more…

ESPN SportsCensorship Slows Show’s Comeback

So we’ve been watching SportsCenter more and more these days, so long as Scott Van Pelt is hosting. The show is getting back to the understated wisecracking that made it a staple for us.

ESPN SportsCenter

What killed the show for so many years was blindered buffoons like Chris Berman and Stuart Scott shouting down the viewers with schtick. The subtle, well-reasoned approach is what wins out, which is also why no one watches SNL anymore.

If you eyeballed ‘Center last night, you probably saw Van Pelt forced into an uncomfortable-looking promotional segment with an insufferably wooden Will Ferrell. During the five minute exchange, SVP came off as, oh, we don’t know, 1000 TIMES FUNNIER. The best line came when the two were looking at video of ill-advised athlete haircuts through the years. When Dwayne Schintzius’ massive mullet was unfurled, Van Pelt coined it the “Kentucky Waterfall.”

Clutch comedy like that has us coming back for now, but we wonder how much better the show could be without the absurd PC parameters obviously dropped on the anchors by Bristol suits. Take for instance, this absurd on-air apology by Van Pelt last night (video after the jump). Read more…

Blog-A-Roni: Shaq Says Bill Broke ‘Big Man Code’

WITH LEATHER, via AOL FANOUSE, uploads video of Shaq calling out Bill Walton for breaking the “Big Man Code”:

• RANDBALL asks that we all hail Wally Szczerbiak’s new son, Maximus.

• THE 700 LEVEL finally found a reason to show up for a Sixers game - a Mr. Potatohead giveaway!

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Giants-Pats Game Most Watched Super Bowl Ever

Sorry, Puppy Bowl. The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports that New York’s Giant upset over New England was the most watched Super Bowl ever.

Eli Manning Giants Super Bowl Trophy

According to the Nielsen numbers, over 97 million viewers tuned in to see Eli Manning out-duel Tom Brady on Sunday, with 81% of the sets in Boston and 67% of the TVs in New York tuned into the game.

Fox’s pre-game festivities, including a red-carpet walk hosted by Ryan Seacrest, helped bring in the “American Idol” crowd - and also bring up some amusing quips from the boys in the booth.

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