Zebra Bite Sidelines Gorilla For Season. Uh, What?

Have you or anyone you know ever been attacked by a zebra? Then please call 1-800-BITCH-YOU-LYIN because there’s no way that’s true. The zebra is a most docile creature, sort of like a horse that’s been shamed into submission because of the unfortunate nature of its coloring. And they’re those herbie-vores. They’re nice, right?

Zebra Bite
(Mynd you, zebra bites Kan be pretty nasti…)

Err, about that. The Pittsburg State Gorillas, which are naturally located in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania the Congolese jungle Kansas, have just lost linebacker/safety Joe Windscheffel for the season after a zebra gave him some whatfor and a little bit of the whatnot. Ouch.

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Eight Belles’ Revenge: Show Horse Attacks Crowd

Since Eight Belles’ tragic injury at Saturday’s Kentucky Derby, coupled with Barbaro’s drama from a few years ago, questions are being raised over the safety and protection of race horses. And PETA is unsurprisingly getting in the act, demanding that Eight Belles’ jockey be suspended & investigated.

Eight Belles Kentucky Derby

However, as people wonder what can be done to protect these steeds, one galloping vigilante has taken matters into his own hands … er, hooves.

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