Have you or anyone you know ever been attacked by a zebra? Then please call 1-800-BITCH-YOU-LYIN because there’s no way that’s true. The zebra is a most docile creature, sort of like a horse that’s been shamed into submission because of the unfortunate nature of its coloring. And they’re those herbie-vores. They’re nice, right?

(Mynd you, zebra bites Kan be pretty nasti…)

Err, about that. The Pittsburg State Gorillas, which are naturally located in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania the Congolese jungle Kansas, have just lost linebacker/safety Joe Windscheffel for the season after a zebra gave him some whatfor and a little bit of the whatnot. Ouch.

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Since Eight Belles’ tragic injury at Saturday’s Kentucky Derby, coupled with Barbaro’s drama from a few years ago, questions are being raised over the safety and protection of race horses. And PETA is unsurprisingly getting in the act, demanding that Eight Belles’ jockey be suspended & investigated.

However, as people wonder what can be done to protect these steeds, one galloping vigilante has taken matters into his own hands … er, hooves.

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