SbB@3: Lady Wrestlers, Somali Pirates And You

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If you’re like me, you long for the days of old school AWA wrestling circa 1988, which featured stars such as Curt Henning, Sean Michaels and Sgt. Slaughter. ESPN Classic revisits that magical time this week, but you’re probably not going to see Hulk Hogan or the Road WarriorsVince MacMahon and Jim Crockett had taken them to their respective competing leagues by then.

Wait, I just remembered — I didn’t watch wrestling in 1988. Then how do I know this stuff? Weird. More bad TV following the jump. Read more…

SbB@3: When Joe Namath And Plaid Slacks Ruled

Imagine being a starting quarterback who has just won the Super Bowl, and having your own television variety show. That was Joe Namath, circa 1969, when he hosted the infamous “Joe Namath Show.” The premise was that Joe just invited whoever the hell he felt like talking with, and they taped a show. They don’t make them like that anymore.

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Here’s Joe, below, chatting with guest host Dick Schapp, and … hmm. Can you identify the other two? While you’re pondering that, enjoy women’s soccer, UCLA football, and loads of other listings from which to steer clear. You’re welcome.

The Joe Namath Show

(Still better than “Joe Buck Live”) Read more…

SbB@3: More Denise Austin, Less Balloon Boy!

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This week on a very special What You Won’t Watch, Fitness dominatrix Denise Austin — who has become a regular here — convinces you to stretch in ways you never thought possible. Also, horribly putrid college football, constructing a Donald Trump combover, and “CBS Early Show” hosts annoy the nine-year-old kid who made that amazing hockey goal. Read more…

SbB@3: Kiana vs. Denise Austin, The Final Flexing

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Have you ever wondered what would happen if ESPN fitness shows “Kiana’s Flex Appeal” and “Getting Fit With Denise Austin” went back-to-back in an ultimate flexing-babe ratings showdown war? We’ll find out who prevails in this week’s feature, with video. Plus, Welsh soccer, Xtreme Bull Riding, and gratuitous Brooke Hogan. It’s stuff you’d never watch, even if threatened with a large hammer! Read more…

SbB@3: It’s Raiders At Giants … The Horror …

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If you can avoid only one game this week, it should probably be the Raiders at the Giants on Sunday at 1 p.m. ET on CBS. Some are calling the Giants the best team in the NFL, and the Raiders, who may not even have a coach, um, are not. May cause loss of vision and abdominal cramps; view at your own risk. Elsewhere on your dial: Read more…

SbB@3: 1980s Hockey, Wild Hogs, Korean Soccer

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The worst in sports TV, in easy-to-take tablet form. Once again, we remind all SbB readers to keep their hands and arms in the vehicle at all times, lest they be bitten by wild hogs, or the lovely Kiana Tom.

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