We feel a little bad for Steve Largent. The Hall of Fame wide receiver for the Seahawks turned to politics after football, and national politics means you have to move to Washington. Moving to Washington means you have to watch the Redskins, and watching the Redskins means you have to want to stab your eyes out.

(It was a different era, I guess.)

So while Largent was back in Seattle today during the congressional offseason, he was asked by KGO-AM about the football situation in Washington. Turns out Largent’s a close friend of ‘Skins head coach - for now - Jim Zorn (seen above, totally BFFing with Largent in their Seattle playing days), which means you know exactly where he’s going with this interview.

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This week on a very special What You Won’t Watch, Fitness dominatrix Denise Austin — who has become a regular here — convinces you to stretch in ways you never thought possible. Also, horribly putrid college football, constructing a Donald Trump combover, and “CBS Early Show” hosts annoy the nine-year-old kid who made that amazing hockey goal. Read more…

Our older and/or better-read NFL fans will undoubtedly remember John Riggins, the eccentric, bruising running back of the Washington Redskins. He was the Super Bowl XVII MVP, but only after a contract dispute led to him sitting out an entire season on his own volition. Needless to say, he’s an iconoclast.

(That look then: badass. That look now: some combination of badass and homeless.)

He’s also a Redskin to the core, having played his final 10 seasons at RFK, leading to a spot in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. The mouth that made him larger than life is still at work, and as you can imagine, he’s not terribly impressed by the current state of affairs.

Riggo went after owner Dan Snyder last month, and now he’s set his sights on head coach Jim Zorn and Vinny Cerrato as GM. Thus, he went to YouTube and delivered a wonderfully eloquent, political, measured soliloquy on–okay, we couldn’t even finish that sentence; he tore Zorn to shreds and told Cerrato to quit football. Video is after the break.

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So Carolina has just scored to lead the Redskins 20-17 with about nine minutes left, perhaps sealing the fate of the embattled Jim Zorn. But word on the street is that Zorn was a lame duck anyway, no matter what he does over the next few weeks.

Or, as FOX SPORTS noted today, Dead Coach Walking. The next coach for the Redskins? Mike Shanahan. Maybe.

When owner Daniel Snyder hired a consultant to oversee game plans recently, that should have been a signal to Zorn to start packing. Both of the other times that Snyder’s done that in the past, notes FOX SPORTS (Mike Nolan and Steve Spurrier), the head coach was a gone the very next season. What a mess. Could there be a more dysfunctional owner/franchise is sports right now? I mean not within the Oakland city limits? Read more…

Promotion is a tricky game. Often the usual virtues of ethics and nuance are mere weaknesses, barriers to the type of bombast and distraction that can really grab a viewer’s attention. By this, of course, we mean exclamation points and boobs.

(Please pay attention to the ladies and not the fine print.)

In this world, then, Dan Snyder is a veritable genius, building his team’s fortunes with a generous helping of T&A. That’s teamspirit and attitudecommapositive, if you were wondering. Oh, and sweet, glorious, misleading promotion. For example, the ‘Skins are turning their cheerleaders into car wash bunnies for a promotion, which is exactly the way 2/3 of my pornographic collection starts (I’m what they call a “niche” viewer). Only problem is… well, there’s multiple problems.

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Apparently Redskins fans weren’t as entertained as the rest of us last week in Detroit. The WaPo’s Dan Steinberg has this photo of the tailgate scene this morning outside FedEx Field.

(Tailgating *scene* outside FedEx two hours before kick)

Then there’s ‘Skins Safety Chris Horton. Jamie Mottram’s Mr Irrelevant reports Horton has some anonymous guy write for him on his official blog. Said guy blew apart the Redskins’ Defensive Coordinator and Horton’s defensive teammates in a post yesterday. Read more…

Earlier today in Detroit, Redskins Coach Jim Zorn enjoyed a wonderfully delightful moment mugging for the camera with Tom Cruise - before Washington went on to a methodic loss to the Lions, snapping Detroit’s 19-game losing streak. (Zorn’s demise officially elevated to “Spicy“)

(Credit CSN Comcast/DC Sports Bog/Twitter)

Detroit’s stunning non-loss would’ve gone largely unnoticed (at least by me) if it hadn’t been for the lovable ‘Skins, who have as rabid a fanbase and reporting media as anywhere in The League. District-wide reax this week will be already is infinitely more interesting than Monday’s obligatory, Leno fake-funny on the Lions.

(Credit CSN Comcast/DC Sports Bog/Twitter)

To wit, the Twitter of Redskins legend John Riggins, who machine-gunned these Tweets after the game today:

(Yes, WaPo’s Dan Steinerg confirms that’s really Riggo)

So just what in the name of L. Ron was Cruise doing at the game anyway? Redskins announcer Larry Weisman, via Steinberg, has the details.

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• The Dolphins held the ball for more than 30 minutes longer than the Colts, but it was Peyton Manning & Co. who left Land Shark Stadium with a 27-23 win on Monday night.

• It’s a Twitter trifecta: First, Redskins rookie LB Robert Henson takes “dim wit” Washington fans to task for booing at FedEx Field.

• Then Marcus Fitzgerald bitches on behalf of brother Larry about the lack of catches the Cardinals WR is getting.

• And Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema admits that one of his scouting techniques is following the Tweets of opposing players.

• A South Carolina man is sentenced to life in prison without parole for the vicious stabbing death of a high school cheerleader.

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Over the past year or so, Twitter has emerged as a great way for athletes and celebrities to build a connection to and communicate with their fans. It’s easy, it’s free, it breaks down the middleman of the media - with all their pesky tough questions and biases - and it can be as much of a one-way or two-way street as one pleases. Even as a business tool, it can help athletes build brand awareness and loyalty amongst fans, helping at the negotiating table with potential sponsorship opportunities and perhaps even with contracts.

(Standard NFL punishment for Twitter infractions.)

Unless, of course, you do it wrong. The thing about Twitter is that everything you say on it goes out for the entire world to see, and stays there.  And undoubtedly, such things tend to be found at the worst possible times - for the average Joe, that means when potential employers are doing due diligence or when an ex’s friend happens across something unflattering you drunkenly, angrily Tweeted on a Saturday night at 3AM (uh, oops). Of course, with an athlete the stakes are higher. Especially when you’re a Washington Redskins scrub who hasn’t even played a game, who called out his team’s fans as “dimwits.” Who’s the dimwit here, exactly?

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By now, the story of Chris Cooley meeting his future wife Christy is the stuff of legend: she was a cheerleader, he was a tight end, they weren’t allowed to date, but they started dating on the creep anyway and things - obviously - went well. On one hand, aww. On the other hand, aww damn, she’s a knockout.

(Putting her on TV? Eh, risky decision, E! - viewers might not go for her. Sure you can’t get Susan Boyle instead?)

The producers of the E! True Hollywood Story franchise noticed the story as well, it appears; they’re picking up “NFL Wives” as one of their episodes, prominently feature Mrs. Cooley herself. It’s not exactly unprecedented; E! featured MLB wives last year; we don’t recall any complaints about that.

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