“Hey, I’m glad to see you, too, though I don’t know why we’re meeting on this abandoned stretch of road. Anyway, it’s been a long time since I saw you. Two years since I signed with the Bears. Can you believe that? Still, I think I’ve got a good shot at the starting job this year; who’s really taking Rex Grossman or Kyle Orton seriously? I expect to be starting by…”

“Yeah, that’s what I called you down here for, Brian. I know it’s been awhile since we’ve seen ‘Griese‘ in pewter. I don’t know what you thought were pulling by signing a five-year contract with the Bears a couple years ago, but we just traded for you. You’re coming home. You see, no one ever leaves the Bucs, son.”

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ONLY THING REDUCED WAS FATTY CHEESEBURGER GRISTLE: A letter pleading for leniency written by Michael Vick to Federal Judge Henry Hudson is now online. Warrick Dunn, Hank Aaron and George Foreman also wrote letters on Vick’s behalf, and our favorite by far is Foreman’s (pdf):

Nice to know the judge, after throwing Vick in the slam for nearly two years, now doesn’t have to worry about that pesky, fatty hamburger gristle. Hurrah! (via AOL Fanhouse)