Team Crazy Refuses To Die In ABC’s ‘Superstars’

Much like the U.S. soccer team in the Confederations Cup, Terrell Owens and Joanna Krupa faced certain elimination in ABC’s time-wasting action-packed series “The Superstars,” only to come back in semi-triumph. Yes, America’s favorite couple are still alive, as you surely know from watching last night. What do you mean you read a book instead? This isn’t Russia! (It isn’t Russia, is it?).

The Dysfunctional Duo made us all chortle last week during the show’s debut, when Owens had a little trouble with the obstacle course and caused his team to be the first one eliminated. Krupa, not amused by T.O.’s clumsiness, went all Kate Gosselin on him, to everyone’s horror/amusement (pick one). Krupa talked about her meltdown recently on ESPN’s “First Take” with Dana Jacobson, video below. Read more…

Despite Visit from Priest, Cubs Don’t Have a Prayer

• Time for the Chicago Cubs to bring that dugout-blessing priest back to the Friendly Confines - so he can administer the Last Rites.

Sad Cubs fans

• Speaking of holy matters, a Stanford lineman more or less tells Notre Dame & its fans to go to hell.

• It’s about time we heard from Warren Sapp about his thoughts on this whole Lane Kiffin business.

Nate Miles’ b-ball career ends before it even starts after the UConn player gets charged for sexual abuse.

• Do you crave more than one Lingerie Bowl game per year? You’re in luck - here comes the Lingerie Football League!

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Sapp Verbally Slaps Davis Over Kiffin Commotion

In all the commotion surrounding the end of days of Lane Kiffin in Oakland, it seems we’ve heard opinions from everyone and anyone who’s ever played or coached professional pigskin. However, we foolishly forgot to get the slant from one ex-Raider who loves to talk ‘n’ talk ‘n’ talk - the ever-egregious Warren Sapp.

Al Davis Warren Sapp

Well, Warren took some time out from Dancing With The Stars, and weighed in on the brouhaha at the Black Hole. During this week’s installment of “Inside The NFL”, Sapp said Kiffin was treated unfairly, just because the ex-USC coordinator he tried to do something different:

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Is Anyone Out There Not Named Paige Green?

We now know there are at least three different Paige Greens floating around on the internet. One is the former Raiders cheerleader who will soon marry John Elway.

Paige Green John Elway

Another Paige Green had a very public engagement pronouncement in the SEATTLE P-I two years ago, and now is married to a gentleman named Reagan Dunn.

And a third Paige Green is a B-Movie actress listed on IMDB.

We’re not the first to confuse the multiple Ms. Greens, but Friday we reported that the woman who was noted in the Seattle engagement announcement was the same person who is now engaged to John Elway. That isn’t the case, and all apologies to all parties.

Today’s water’s wet, sky’s blue story is brought to you by TMZ.com.

Warren Sapp Dancing With The Stars Tantrum

Warren Sapp’s an a$$hole: “Our spies at “DWTS” tell TMZ Sapp’s big head and man-diva attitude are causing problems. We’re told he talks down to everybody (especially the guy dancers and production assistants), yells at people and consistently walks out of rehearsals with partner Kym Johnson.

Well at least he has his chronic halitosis to fall back on.

Remember those two goons from COI (that’s City of Industry to non-Angelenos) who are trying to lure the NFL to The Basin?

Not. Looking. Good. *shock* Read more…

Erin Andrews Quells Rumors of Florida Favoritism

Ever since the Miami Hurricanes lost to the Florida Gators last weekend, they’ve spent the majority of their time whining about everything.  Head coach Randy Shannon talked about how he didn’t appreciate Urban Meyer opting to kick a field goal in the last minute even though his team was already ahead 23-3, and former Cane Warren Sapp quickly followed that up by saying that Meyer was a “classless dirtbag.”

Erin Andrews walk sideglance

Not content with solely ripping on Meyer, Canes fans now have a new person to blame for their team sucking: Erin Andrews.

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Sapp Growls About Gators, Rants About Raiders

Warren Sapp is settling in nicely into his new career as studio analyst. The long-time long-winded NFL lineman joins a re-vamped and re-vitalized “Inside The NFL”, as HBO’s former football highlight show makes it’s debut on Showtime tonight (9 pm ET/PT - check local listings).

Warren Sapp

But just because Sapp isn’t stepping out on the field anymore, doesn’t mean he’s not as intense & opinionated as he’s always been. And he couldn’t even wait until the show went on the air before hurling a few vocal barbs - namely at Urban Meyer and the Oakland Raiders.

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Jeff Gordon Very Happy With Model Wife & Mom

Be back at 8 p.m. ET for Tuffy’s live blog of tonight’s Tennessee-UCLA tussle.

Jeff Gordon believes wife Ingrid Vandebosch is quite the model mother.

Jeff Gordon Ingrid Vandenbosch

Roger Clemens’ kid Koby gets cuffed after brawling at a bar.

O.J. Simpson pal Tom Riccio bets he can rent out ad space on the limo he’ll be taking to the Las Vegas courthouse.

Matt Leinart doesn’t like being Kurt Warner’s backup.

Peter King isn’t pleased with new “Inside the NFL” co-host Warren Sapp badmouthing the previous Sapp-less seasons of the show.

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King Is Not Impressed With Sapp, TV Personality

Evidently, SPORTS ILLUSTRATED’s Peter King has other interests outside of polishing Brett Favre’s marbles. He also has time — despite what would appear to be a 40-hour-a-week job (those marbles have a luster you just don’t see from part-time polishing) — to point out that Warren Sapp is a loud-mouthed crank. Ironical.

Warren Sapp

You see, Sapp, recently retired NFL defensive lineman, will be one of the new faces on “Inside the NFL,” which, after a long run on HBO, will premiere on Showtime this season with a mostly new cast. A cast, by the way, that won’t include King, who appeared on the show for six years.

So what set King off? From MMQB:

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Brog: Parents Buying Athlete Seed For Offspring?!

Tuesday ESPN’s “E:60″ will examine the lengths some people will go to have more athletic kids.

Jose Canseco as a baby

ESPN: “E:60 correspondent Tom Farrey exclusively reports the story about the ultimate effort to buy athletic advantage – the purchase of sperm from anonymous donors who are college athletes. He visits the world’s largest sperm bank, California Cryobank in Los Angeles, where the seed of Division I football, basketball and baseball players sells fast. Farrey also speaks with families who purchased the sperm of a former tight end, and he addresses the question: How do expectations change when parents know their child is born with the DNA of an elite athlete?”

So what type of down-and-outer person, athlete or no, is selling their sperm?

Jose Canseco sticks out tongue

Exactly.

Farrey also has a book out on the subject, and appeared today on KSPN-AM’s “Mason & Ireland” show in Los Angeles today to talk about the ESPN piece.

John Ireland to Farrey: “How many people are breeding kids specifically to be athletes?”

Farrey: “I’m not sure they’re breeding to create elite athletes. They’re folks who are lesbians or same sex couples or mothers who never found mister right or it’s a heterosexual couple who can’t have kids on their own. So, they go to the sperm bank and they go through the catalog. And inevitably, when you’re like, ‘OK, what are we going to pick?’ … you end up picking the stuff you prioritize and you value and there are a lot of people out there who want their kids to have athletic traits.”

The main ethical question when it comes to this game of offspring roulette is if prospective parents should be allowed to know the identity of the sperm donator. So long as they don’t, I don’t see anything wrong with knowing the occupation and/or athletic history of the contributor. Problem is, if someone is donating sperm for money, what’s the odds that individual has a current occupation? (See Todd Marinovich.)

Yes, we’ve all heard over the years about Warren Sapp being a social cripple. Not to mention a man of questionable personal hygiene. So with that, I was delighted today at his selection to the latest lineup of “Dancing With The Stars”. Though I would love to see him plague survive the entire competition, that might be a little too much to ask, considering he’ll be dragging around a hazmat-suited partner.

Warren Sapp Dancing With The Stars

In all seriousness, one media source close to the Raiders told me today that Sapp has always been known for raging, 100-yard halitosis. In particular, one veteran defensive lineman for the Raiders used to bark out “Breath!” whenever Sapp walked into a room or on the team plane.

That eventually lead to the team’s primary rallying cry last season: “BREATH! BREATH! BREATH!

Sapp thought it was funny, but didn’t know the joke was on him and would bark it out too.

Coincidentally, when Marinovich was quarterbacking the club, the team’s rallying cry was, “METH! METH! METH!

OK, I made that last part up. Read more…

Even Michael Phelps Look-A-Likes Get Some Love

• It appears that Chinese fans will go ga-ga over anything Michael Phelps - even BBC reporters who look like the gold-winning swimmer.

Steve Parry Phelps look-a-like Sharron Davies

But when it comes to employees of the Beeb, we prefer to go ga-ga over swimming analyst Sharron Davies.

• Teasing the Aussies about coming home with less Olympic medals than the British? The Sun is there.

• A Canadian fencer says a loss to a rival felt like “a kick in the nuts” - which is more remarkable considering the crestfallen foiler is female.

• With the Beijing Games now gone, how will Yao Ming be able to get on with his life?

• It’s bad enough when a football coach assaults a player from an opposing team, but it’s downright disgusting when said player is only 8 years old.

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