Phillips Enjoys Song, Career That Oddly Endures

A Denver DJ named Kathy Lee somehow thought it a good idea to send me this video of Wade Phillips doing the Y.M.C.A. last week in Miami:

Wade Phillips dancing to YMCA

If that isn’t a metaphor for Phillips’ career in Dallas, what is?

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Jerry Jones Slips A Ball Gag On Wade Phillips

I know, I know, you’re shocked there could be some discord among the Dallas Cowboys. But rest assured, Ed Werder’s “scoops” will be a thing of the past, now that Herr Jones has put his jackbooted foot down on the loose lips that have helped sink Cowboy ships these past few years.

Jerry Jones

There’s a gag order in place now in Dallas, perhaps three months too late. Now any news out of Cowboy camp will come through one source: Jerry Jones himself. Still, I have to wonder how wise it is, if you have to limit the team to one voice, to make it the biggest mouth in the south. Read more…

Cowboys Celebrate Collapse On Flight Home?

Much of the sporting world reacted gleefully when the Dallas Cowboys melted down late in the season, capped by an embarrassing 44-6 loss to the Eagles. However, you wouldn’t have expected that the Cowboys themselves would also be celebrating the fact that they won’t be going to the playoffs. But, at least one source is saying they did just that.

TO and Tony Romo

(”Finally, this B.S. is over. Let’s go to Cabo.” )

According to 1310 THE TICKET’s Mark Friedman, the Cowboys’ charter flight back to Dallas was a festive affair, like “the last day of school.” Players were laughing, playing games, and generally acting as if life was just dandy. So much for the illusion of athletes really caring about their jobs. Despondent Cowboy fans are not amused.

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Cowboys LB Shows More Fire Vs. Fan Than Eagles

For a football player, having to return to clean out your locker room at the team facilities the day after your season ends has to be the roughest part of the year. Especially if you’re a member of the Dallas Cowboys, and you have to do it the day after a humiliating 44-6 loss to your rivals the Philadelphia Eagles, which leads to your coach vowing that things will change next season.

Bradie James

So you’ll excuse Cowboys linebacker Bradie James if he wasn’t in the mood to deal with a goofball fan marching up and down the street outside of Valley Ranch today with a sandwich board that said “The Cowboys have no heart” on one side and “Wade (Phillips) is an embarrassment to the Star” on the other. Still, as the DALLAS MORNING NEWS notes, ripping off the fan’s sign and breaking his glasses in the process probably wasn’t the best idea.

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Speed Read: Teammates Make Great Interviewers

NBC’s Football Night In America sure knows how to bring the hard interviews to Joe Fantasygm’s television. Former Giants running back Tiki Barber sat down with current Giants running back Brandon Jacobs, and little-known Detroit native Jerome Bettis was at the Steelers-Titans game and somehow scored an on-field interview with his former quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger.

Bettis Roethlisberger Tiki Barker interviews

Honestly, all sports interviews should be conducted by former teammates-turned-journalists. It makes them so much more fun, and they can talk about the good old days when there were two or three years in their careers that intertwined. Keyshawn Johnson can talk to Terrell Owens while sharing a king sized bed, braiding each other’s hair and ask each other, “Seriously, isn’t it better to be like us than it is to be a fan of the game?” “Yeah, screw the fans!” [high five]

Overtime games - New Orleans Bown and Panthers-Giants

Barber was nowhere to be seen (rats!) as the Giants nuzzled up to home field advantage with a 34-28 overtime win over the surprising Panthers. Derrick Ward rumbled for 215 yards on merely 15 carries. A visibly crushed DeAngelo Williams was not consoled by Tim Biakabutuka.

Elsewhere in overtime news, the R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl went to an extra frame with Southern Miss winning 30-27 over Troy, with USM’s Britt Barefoot doinking a field goal off the inside of the goalposts for the game-winning three points. Not only is Barefoot an amazing name for a kicker, as is his coach’s, Larry Fedora. Anyone whose surname is also a hat immediately wins trust in my book.

Boston Celtics win 18 straight

Four teams not named the Boston Celtics have 18 wins or more this season. One team actually named the Celtics has 18 wins or more in a current streak of basketball games. A 124-105 dismantling of the New York Knicks on Sunday evening kept the streak alive. This ties a franchise record, and it’s only the longest win streak since … earlier this year, when the idiosyncratic Houston Rockets won 22 before losing to … Boston. If The C’s can make it 26 in a row, the Rockets will get a chance to return the favor on January 7. The NBA: where looking extremely far down the road happens.

SbB: Where ten other stories I didn’t have much else to say about happens.

  • NESW SPORTS finds an oblique mention of Ahmad Rashad making a jump shot for the Philadelphia 76ers, but no mention of it anywhere else on the Internet. Much like the fossils in the ground, God probably put this video on the tubes to test our faith.
  • One more thing about that Celtics game. The BOSTON HERALD reports that Glen Davis missed the game after getting in a car crash on his way to the game, and his head broke the windshield. The accident was classified by the Celtics as “minor,” probably because their spokespeople are manly men who jog home from vasectomies.
  • Now that the Lions are 0-15, we can now call Bizarro Mercury Morris because they are on his block. The DETROIT NEWS is asking Lions fans — the ones that haven’t strangled themselves yet — put out an online survey asking what emotion best describes the reaction to this season. The results so far?

    Lions poll

    Put that on a t-shirt. “The Detroit Lions: The Otherest Team In History.”

  • We almost went a whole day without any Mark Teixeira rumors. Sheesh! Well, the Angels are pulling away their 8-year, $54 gazillion offer, leaving Tex with the Yankees, Red Sox, Nationals or Orioles as potential new homes. Two of these is not like the others. The MERCURY NEWS is rather sick of this bidding war, concluding he will sign “maybe with Baltimore or Washington, whereupon he will say the perennial loser that lands him was attractive because it offers the best chance to win.”
  • The Phoenix Suns need a new point guard and are having open tryouts for the position. As noted by BRIGHT SIDE OF THE SUN, ““The six guys that will be here Monday are a mix of vets and youngsters ranging from the 26 year old Walker Russell to the 83 year old Darrell Armstrong.
  • THE HARDBALL TIMES reminds Cubs fans that, no matter how bad it gets for the team, its fans can always fall back on their pure hatred of Steve Garvey.
  • THE 700 LEVEL has video of the Eagles-Redskins final play, perhaps the most climactic finish of the day in the NFL, where Reggie Brown gets stopped cold at the goalline, denying Philly the game-tying touchdown on the final play.
  • Oh, Mike Singletary, never change. After the 49ers escaped out of St. Louis with a 17-16 win (after being down 16-3 in the fourth), the interim coach said of his quarterback Shaun Hill after throwing his third interception: “I was going to choke him.” Good lord. If Singletary doesn’t get hired back next year, he’s a shoe-in to become a New York Mets consultant.
  • Now for a critical NHL All-Star voting update. Sidney Crosby rallied from 120,000 fake Canadiens votes behind to shatter the all-time NHL votes record and leads Alexei Kovalev by 280,000 votes. Three other Canadiens are still in the lead, but not by much. The anticipation is palpable! I can hardly zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
  • The Cowboys might have ate it hard in their home finale but Jerry Jones seems content in keeping Wade Phillips around for another year, despite the game being a seemingly passing of the torch to Jason Garrett. The STAR TELEGRAM does not seem pleased with this. “Talk about your buzz kills. Not only did Coach Wade help ruin a huge party for fans and legends assembled to bid farewell to Texas Stadium on Saturday, he now apparently has another 16 games to bring his special brand of “ish” football to JerryWorld.”

Who is your favorite winless team or person?

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Romo And Witten Skipped T.O.’s Birthday Party

While Sunday night’s game between the New York Giants and Dallas Cowboys was a very important victory for the Cowboys and their playoff chances, I’m pretty sure the only thing any of us really cared about was the relationship between Tony Romo, Jason Witten, and Terrell Owens.  It was as though the psyche of the American public was soothed when we found out after their win that the trio were just fine, and that any drama amongst them was nothing more than the evil Ed Werder spreading his lies.

Of course the perfect occasion for Romo, Witten, and Owens along with the rest of their teammates to put all of this ugliness behind them was on Monday night.  While T.O.’s former team the Eagles were beating the Browns to keep their playoff hopes alive, Owens and his teammates were gathering together to celebrate Terrell’s birthday.   Everybody was there, from celebrities to all of Owens’ teammates and even his coach Wade Phillips.   Still, there were two no-shows whose absence did not go unnoticed.

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Cowboys’ Season, Wade’s Career In Grave Danger

It’s not often that a 35-14 game can be classified as “not as close as the score indicates,” but mere numbers can’t describe the level of butt-kicking that the Giants put on Dallas for 60 minutes today.

Justin Tuck Sack
(Justin Tuck prepares to impregnate Brad Johnson’s armpit.)

It got so bad that on the final scoring play of the game, a 17-yard draw by Derrick Ward, the Cowboys’ Mike Jenkins (who returned an errant Manning pass for Dallas’ first score) just plain didn’t bother tackling Ward; Jenkins was in position, but watched without so much as lifting an arm in defense as Ward ran right past him. It was emblematic of a team that knew it was beaten and just wanted the game to be over long before it actually was. Read more…

Daily Groundless NFL Rumor: Cowher To Dallas?

Here we go again. After losing star QB Tony Romo with a widdle bwoken pinky, Dallas has gone 1-2 and is in no position to contend for the division crown, not with the Giants looming large over the NFC. Still, even in the overloaded NFC East, Dallas is 5-3 and seemingly on pace to make the playoffs (though they’d hardly be the first 10-6 team to stay home).

Wade Phillips

Should Dallas miss the playoffs, however, there will be hell to pay, because there’s always hell to pay with Double J (do you see what I did there? I rhymed.). So for some reason, the Internet has begun to speculate on a successor for a coach with a winning record and a seemingly safe contract. And surprise, there’s no evidence presented to support it, either!

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Speed Read: Dodgers Done, Cowboys To Follow?

How often does the first batter tell you everything you need to know about how a baseball game is going to go? But after seeing Jimmy Rollins take Chad Billingsley deep in the first inning of Game 5 of the NLCS, did anyone have any doubt that the Phillies would be going to the World Series? The result wound up 5-1 for Philadelphia, but it might have been 1,000-1 after that first at-bat.

Philadelphia Phillies clinch NL Pennant

With how Cole Hamels was pitching, it’s not as though the Phillies needed much help, but Rafael Furcal channeling some combination of the Chicago Cubs’ infield, Steve Sax and Rick Ankiel (pitcher version) didn’t help. Furcal made three errors in the fifth inning, tying an MLB post-season record. I can sympathize with Furcal: I also once made three errors in one inning. Of course, I was 12, and a terrible Little League player.

Rafael Furcal and Joe Torre

I hate to burst the bubble of die-hard Philly fans like THE 700 LEVEL who are reveling on their team’s victory, and the fact that they are four games away from bringing the city its first major professional sports title in 25 years. So I won’t mention that the Phillies’ Big Three (Rollins, Ryan Howard and Chase Utley) are hitting a meager .250 combined in the 2008 playoffs.

Or that Jamie Moyer might wind up starting a World Series game, and that your starters not named Cole Hamels have an ERA just over 6.00 this postseason.

Or that the Rays have somehow turned into the 1929 Yankees, if that’s who you wind up playing.

Or that other than Manny Ramirez, this wasn’t a very good Dodgers team, and beating them in five games wasn’t really that huge of an accomplishment.

Just sleep tight, Phillie fans, after a night of serious celebrating. Probably in a pool of your own vomit, but sleep tight none the less, and don’t worry about tomorrow.

Meanwhile, as the Los Angeles Dodgers’ season ended with a thud, the slow-motion train wreck that the Dallas Cowboys’ season is becoming is continuing. A day after they were fleeced by the Lions (the Lions!) to complete their Roy Williams collection, the DALLAS MORNING NEWS reports that head coach Wade Phillips doesn’t expect Adam “Pac-Man” Jones to return to the team regardless of the length of his suspension.

Also not expected to come back after this season: Wade Phillps.

But fear not, Cowboys’ fans! Remember Tony Romo’s pinkie injury that was going to sideline him for four games? Turns out that he’s going to try to play this week against the Rams. Because having a quarterback trying to play with a broken finger on his throwing hand always ends up well. Right, USC fans?

Here’s what else happened last night while you were rolling your eyes at John McCain rolling his eyes:

    Mets bullpen car

  • THE LEGEND OF CECILIO GUANTE prays for the return of the bullpen car. I don’t know: as cool as they are, it’s a little less intimidating when NAME OF YOUR TEAM’S CLOSER HERE comes in from the bullpen to the sounds of AC/DC OR GUNS ‘N’ ROSES OR METALLICA OR BLACK SABBATH when he’s riding in a giant, cartoon helmet.
  • The LOS ANGELES TIMES reports that Frank “Lefty” Rosenthal, the Mob bookmaker and casino boss who inspired the movie Casino, has cashed in and gone to that comped room in the sky.
  • MICHIGAN DAILY notes that Michigan running back Mike Milano has been indefinitely suspended from the team after allegedly assaulting Wolverines hockey player and Anaheim Ducks prospect Steve Kampfer on campus, slamming him to the ground and knocking him unconscious.
  • Kansas State assistant coach Dalonte Hill reportedly makes $420,000 a year. THE CHRONICLE OF HIGHER EDUCATION points out that is more than the school’s President makes.
  • How fat is Eddy Curry? So fat that he sat on his exercise ball and it exploded. That’s not a joke: THE DAILY NEWS’ KNICKS KNATION says this actually happened at practice on Monday.
  • BRAVES LAUNCH PAD notes the striking similarities between Phillies slugger Ryan Howard and The Office temp-turned-executive-turned-secretary of the same name.
  • VEGAS NEWS delivers a strike with news that Make That Spare is coming back to TV. Pro bowlers making spares over and over? That’s must see TV!
  • Your World Cup qualifying recap from the LOS ANGELES TIMES: The US, having secured their spot in the next round, fields a youthful squad and falls to Trinidad and Tobago, 2-1. Meanwhile, Mexico has to rally to tie Canada and is in danger of missing the final round of qualifying.
  • The NEW YORK TIMES’ SLAP SHOT follows up on the fallout from the tragic death of Rangers’ prospect Alexei Cherepanov at age 19, including the confusion over the possible causes of his death.
  • Finally, the AP has word that Bobby Knight told a TV interviewer that he would consider coaching again. But he was such a natural, energetic analyst working for ESPN. (Note: I’m being sarcastic here.)

Who do you blame for the Dodgers’ failures in the NLCS?

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Magic Gives ‘Boys Pep Talk, Pans Mavs’ Chances

Despite not winning a playoff game in 12 years, and a disappointing end to last season’s 13-win campaign, the Dallas Cowboys are the prohibitive favorites to make it to the Super Bowl. And such favoritism creates all sorts of expectations.

Magic Johnson address Cowboys

In an effort to combat any pressure that might result from those high expectations, the Cowboys have invited world renowned movie theatre mogul and former NBA player Magic Johnson to address the team on avoiding the pitfalls of fame.

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