Meet the Naukams — Anna M. and Eugene III, who will get my vote for the Embezzlers Hall of Fame when they become eligible in five years. Not only did Anna Naukam allegedly steal $461,586 from the state of Oklahoma in her capacity as director of a child welfare advocate agency, but she then made in rain, Oklahoma middle-aged woman style.

Among stuff allegedly purchased by Anna with the ill-gotten gains: Cosmetic breast surgery and Texas Tech football tickets. Guns Up! Plus, her son’s tuition at the University of Oklahoma. Keep in mind that this was taxpayer and donated funds intended to help children. Read more…

Back in February supermodel Adriana Lima went and ruined the fantasies of teenage boys everywhere by marrying Memphis Grizzlies point guard Marko Jaric. Though it did provide ugly people throughout the world hope that they too could one day land a supermodel so long as they made over a million dollars a year. So far their marriage seems to be going pretty well, though there was that sexual assault scare for Jaric, and it appears things are going even better for the two of them now.

See that picture of Lima right there? She might not ever look that good again because it seems that Jaric wasn’t content with just taking one of the hottest women in the world off the market. No, he had to go and knock her up, too.

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With every group of guys, there’s always that one friend in the group that plays way out of his league when it comes to women. The majority of you stay within your “range” of hotness, but there’s the one guy, the one who usually seems to have the least going for him, who ends up marrying the supermodel.

On the Memphis Grizzlies that would be point guard Marko Jaric. Jaric has somehow kept supermodel Adriana Lima drunk enough to date him since 2006, and has even kept her engaged to him since last June. Then a few weeks ago he actually convinced her to run away with him to Wyoming and get married.

(Pics of the happy bride sans wedding dress after the jump.)

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• GOLF BABES tees up the latest fashions we hope to soon see Natalie Gulbis & Anna Rawson sporting - golf lingerie.

• SI’s Arash Markazi understands Emmitt Smith doesn’t like Ocho Cinco’s plans to smooch the Cowboys’ star: “He can kiss the star anytime he wants, but not after scoring a touchdown. I have a problem with that.”

• Not to be outdone by Jamie Apody, YOU BEEN BLINDED pours out a clip of Manny Ramirez getting a female Fox reporter all wet.

• PLAYING THE FIELD needs some help with their pigskin picks. So they go to someone who knows all about skin - a guy who works at Victoria’s Secret. In the meantime, we’ll go ask the models.

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• A-Rod’s stripping seductress Candice Houlihan reports that some Red Sox fans have now christened her the “Yankee Skank“.

• Reserve infielder Tony Pena Jr. might be the perfect antidote to the Royals’ pathetic pitching woes.

• The Boston writer who broke the story on the Pats’ videotaping the Rams before the Super Bowl is apparently now out of a job.

• Charles Barkley helps out a busboy working his way through college.

• It only took 34 years for anyone to notice the scoring error etched on the Steelers’ NFL Championship rings.

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Pink. Pink. Pink. It’s all you see if you’re on a college campus these days. (And if you’re not smart enough to find an excuse to end up on a college campus, well, you’ve got an entirely different problem.)

But you might be seeing even more of it on select college campuses, as VICTORIA’S SECRET (by way of Joe Ovies at 850 THE BUZZ) has unveiled a brand new “Pink Collegian Collection“, designed for the college-athletic friendly lady.
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At least there’s one big winner on the Minnesota Timberwolves roster, as Marko Jaric is getting married to supermodel Adriana Lima.

PEOPLE reports that the Victoria’s Secret vixen was celebrating her 27th birthday on Thursday when she received a surprise gift from the Serbian shooting guard - an engagement ring. Read more…

• LE BASKETBAWL finds at least one winner on the 10-39 T-Wolves, as Marko Jaric is apparently dating Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima:

• SOCCERLENS focuses in on the real goal for a successful World Cup in South Africa - legalizing prostitution.

• Jason Whitlock of the KANSAS CITY STAR wants his March Madness now, as he’s bored with the college b-ball regular season.

• THE BIG LEAD is rooting for Dudley Hart to win the Pebble Beach Pro-Am, considering he missed a lot of golf time caring for his lung cancer-stricken wife.

• FAN IQ’s 100% INJURY RATE suggests that if the Olympic discus toss doesn’t thrill you, why not try the live-goat-into-the-lions’-den toss?

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• Curt Schilling uses his blog to give his side of the sore shoulder saga.

• BALL DON’T LIE gives “Inside The NBA” host Ernie Johnson a chance to finally get a word in edgewise.

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT chows down on Major League Eating: The Video Game!

• WITH LEATHER dresses down the Victoria’s Secret Super Bowl party, complete with sexy awards!

• BABES LOVE BASEBALL pecks up news that PETA wants an apology from Pedro Martinez & Juan Marichal for getting caught playing with cocks.

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The WALL STREET JOURNAL reports that Hyundai is thinking about pulling it’s ads from the Super Bowl.

The South Korean auto maker is fearful their spots might rub some prospective buyers the wrong way. Not because of any racy content or wardrobe malfunctions, but because of concerns about a stagnating economy.

Hyundai believes that “taking out high-priced ads in this environment might rub some consumers the wrong way.”

Well, it didn’t bother Allstate when they sponsored the BCS Championship game in Louisiana - where many hurricane insurance claims are still unpaid.

If Hyundai decides to pull out but Fox can’t find any new ad buyers, the spots will have to air. However, as the WSJ points out, “Given the high demand for ad time, Fox would likely be able to sell the slots at an even higher price.”

And we have a good idea what viewers are hoping to see instead.

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