Someone better spread out some tarp for Scott Spiezio’s new jail cell.

• Jon Stewart, comedic television star & collegiate soccer stud:

• Cubs owner Sam Zell chews on selling naming rights to Wrigley Field.

• The Atlantic City Surf is willing to take a big gamble on Cecil Fielder.

• Tim Tebow is voting for none of the above.

• Billy Wagner gets mad at Michigan players giving it the ol’ college try.

Read more…

After 99 years of hooping it up, Tennessee were finally named #1 in men’s basketball. 48 hours later, the Volunteers’ name is mud.

Vanderbilt toppled top-ranked Tennessee 72-69 in a Tuesday night thriller. After squeaking out a win over previous top dog Memphis, the Vols were done in by shooting only 33% from the field.

And neutralizing #1 in Nashville was nothing new to the Commodores. Read more…

During the first half of their game against Vanderbilt on Tuesday night, Kentucky must have been channeling Spinal Tap, as the Wildcats could only go up to 11 on their way to a 93-52 crushing by the Commodores.

The LEXINGTON HERALD-LEADER runs down the rancid records the Wildcats set during their nightmare in Nashville. Read more…

THE FIGHT FOR COACH K.’S SHOESHINE BOX IS BACK ON! The NASHVILLE TENNESSEAN reports that Duke is sending mixed signals out about getting serious about football. The school hasn’t won an ACC game since 2004 (and worst yet, lost to ND this season), but is apparently pursuing Vanderbilt coach Bobby Johnson.

But don’t get too excited Blue Devils fans, the fight for Coach K.’s shoeshine box also includes just-jettisoned UCLA coach Karl Dorrell, who somehow found a way at UCLA to make Bob Toledo look like Amos Alonzo Stagg.