Tom Kite and Vijay Singh are the last two people I’d normally get riled up about, but thanks to an absurd decision by the USGA this week to allow the non-exempt Singh into the U.S. Open field while snubbing ‘92 U.S. Open Champion (@ Pebble Beach, no less) Kite, I’ll make an exception.

This Monday, Kite will rise at dawn to slog through 36 holes with mostly amateurs and semi-pros outside Denver in a desperate bid to make the Open field. Meanwhile Singh, with his current game in disrepair and facing a similar qualifying day after his request for a free spot in the field was turned down, has since been gifted a tee time for Pebble Beach.

So why does former Pebble Beach U.S. Open Champion Kite have to qualify while Singh doesn’t?

Kite didn’t threaten to skip his qualifier because his tee time was too early in the morning. Read more…

• Michelle Wie has her own blog where she can showcase some of her off-course talents - such as art work and wearing leopard & leather outfits.

• No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills - mainly because they keep putting themselves in disastrous situations.

• A Nigerian soccer player tries to earn a roster spot by smuggling heroin.

• A furious female Canadian boxer decides to beat up some British soldiers because they were “being gay” on the dance floor.

• Successful sales of a 5,000-calorie burger fills minor league team’s coffers, clogs minor league fans’ arteries.

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Despite a pair of unlikely champions in Kim Clijsters and Juan Martin del Potro, USTA officials have to be wearing their happy pants over the success of the U.S. Open. CBS got a 2.4/5 Nielsen rating for the men’s final, up 41.2% from last year. ESPN also got great ratings, and the economy failed to dent attendance.

The tournament, however, will probably be most remembered for the maniacal ranting of Serena Williams and Roger Federer, the former who inspired the product pictured above as seen on last night’s “Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien.” But was Serena’s profane outburst a bad thing? Depends on how you look at it. Read more…

By now, you’ve undoubtedly heard about Serena Williams’s match-losing, side judge-threatening outburst yesterday evening against Kim Clijsters, so there’s really no need to cover the basic incident in detail here (if you are just climbing out of your hole and wish to learn more about the outside world, click here, here, here, here, here, or here).

And yeah, the incident was surprising, kind of disappointing, and, if you’re a cynical jerk like me, a little humorous. But Serena was gonna lose anyway and this really didn’t affect the match much. The real interesting thing here is the ongoing reaction to it, and the effect it might have on her career going forward.

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• Shawne Merriman & Tila Tequila have had quite the memorable week, haven’t they?

• Bengals QB Carson Palmer is worried that someone’s going to die in the NFL. Meanwhile, other Bengals QB Jordan Palmer has no worries about big brother’s USC squad beating the Buckeyes.

• Sounds like Danica Patrick will be racing over to NASCAR next year.

• Melanie Oudin had a great run at the US Open, although she could have done without the hotel eviction & her parents’ impending divorce.

• In the meantime, Novak Djokovic entertains the Flushing Meadows fans with his impression of John McEnroe - only to have the real deal come down & serve the Serb a lesson in an impromptu match.

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• Threesomes, nudity, threatening to have sex with others - this Shawne Merriman-Tila Tequila story just keeps getting better & better!

• But sleeping around isn’t always so much fun - especially when it’s leading to the divorce of Melanie Oudin’s parents.

• The Dallas Cowboys are the hottest ticket in the NFL this year. It’s so hot, it’ll burn a $800-per-game hole in your wallet.

• Bode Miller wants to start his very own winery. Bottoms up!

• Ex-NFL lineman Orlando Brown breaks into his ex-wife’s house & trashes the place - but not before leaving a little present in her toilet.

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Melanie Oudin has become the talk of tennis due to her surprising success at the US Open. But unfortunately, Melanie’s magical run came to an end Wednesday night with a straight-set loss to Caroline Wozniacki. Still, congrats are in order for the 17-year-old for creating such a fascinating story at Flushing Meadows this year.

(The Oudins [L-R]: Melanie, dad John, mom Leslie, sis Katherine)

Now Melanie’s about to learn a valuable lesson when it comes to achieving newly found fame: Everybody wants to know everything about you, no matter how private you’d prefer to keep it. As such, Oudin’s sweet story has turned a bit sour with news that her parents are divorcing - over accusations that Melanie’s mom had an affair with Melanie’s coach.

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• Novak Djokovic delights the Monday night US Open crowd with his manic impression of John McEnroe - only to have Mac come down & reclaim his honor in an impromptu tennis match.

• A Kansas community is burned by the cold-hearted hazing of a high school football player slathered in Icy Hot.

• Kentucky fans are fuming at John Calipari because their coach dared send a Wildcats jersey to President Obama.

• A whole lotta football kicked off this weekend - even the lingerie variety.

• Ex-Notre Dame QB Blair Kiel is arrested after going on a drunken warpath at an Indianapolis Indians minor league game.

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One of the more entertaining surprises of this year’s US Open - apart from Novak Djokovic impersonating John McEnroe & Johnny Mac’s response - has been Melanie Oudin, the 17-year-old from Marietta, Georgia, who’s made a memorable run to the quarterfinals, knocking off such bigger names as Maria Sharapova & Elena Dementieva.

(Melanie hits the NYC streets, looking for a room for the night)

And the city of New York has embraced this teen tennis sensation as she continues her improbable streak. Well, everyone except the Marriott Hotel in Times Square.

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Besides being a pretty good tennis player, Novak Djokovic has done quite well in performing impersonations of some of his courtly colleagues, such as Maria Sharapova. And after defeating Radek Stepanek on Monday night, Novak decided to entertain the US Open crowd with some mimicry of John McEnroe.

(Novak [L] doesn’t seem too focused, as McEnroe doesn’t take too kindly to Djokovic’s joking)

However, unlike Djokovic’s previous targets, Johnny Mac didn’t take such tomfoolery lying down. In fact, McEnroe came down to the court to confront Djokovic - and served up a challenge to settle things once and for all.

(Video after the jump.)

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