Isaac Hilton Has Your Quickest Ticket To The CFL

Thanks to YAHOO! SPORTS O.G. Michael Silver, Isaac Hilton will now forever be known as the pro football prospect with the surest way to the Canadian Football League. Not able to take the pressure of having his measurements taken and his body analyzed like a blogger examining photos of Erin Andrews, Silver reports Hilton let loose:

Isaac Hilton Pee Pee Pants

“The poor kid pissed himself,” recalls one scout who witnessed it. “He was standing up there … and it all just came out. Craziest thing I’ve ever seen.”

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Blogs: K-State B-baller Pees In Towel During Game

• DEADSPIN can’t hold in news of Kansas State’s Bill Walker finding relief courtside. And INTENTIONAL FOUL finds moving pictures of the peeing (watch the lower left):

• Is there something we don’t know? AWFUL ANNOUNCING points out that Tom Brady is in the running for Esquire’s Sexiest Woman alive.

• ALL BALLS gets down with their choices of top 10 Soulja Boy dances.

• 100% INJURY RATE has video of 8-year-olds getting a head start in their NHL goon careers:

• STEROID NATION learns that British kids as young as 11 have been juiced up - and not from apples or grapes.

• RIVALFISH wonders which blonde bombshell is next in line for Tony Romo.

• After knocking out the Knicks, FAN IQ finds Kevin Garnett discussing the New York situation and questioning Craig Sager’s fashion sense:

• RUMORS AND RANTS agrees with Philip Rivers that Chargers fans should just shut up.

• How bad are the Jets? VEGAS WATCH discovers they’re underdogs to the NFL’s only winless team.

Michael Strahan Is A Discerning Toilet Humorist

M. STRAHAN: OUR FOREMOST MODERN (TOILET) HUMORIST: NAUGHTY AMERICAN (very NSFW link) reviews Michael Strahan’s “Inside The Helmet” book which gives us a window into the discerning world of Monsieur #92’s unabated love for watersports and scatological humor.

Michael Strahan

Strahan on #1: “Here’s how the pee prank is usually pulled off: While one player distracts the mark with a little conversation in the shower, another player sneaks up and empties his bladder on the victim’s leg. The targeted teammate usually doesn’t notice, because warm urine is pretty much the same temperature as the water.

It’s the perfect crime, until the victim notices an audience of large naked men pointing and yukking it up.

Michael Strahan

Strahan on #2: “Another lowbrow practical joke that’s common in NFL training camps, Strahan reveals, is the ‘take-a-dump-in-the-wrong-part-of-the-toilet’ caper. All that this one requires is removing the top of the toilet tank, making a deposit, replacing the cover, then sitting back (from an odor-free distance) while the stink bomb builds strength yet remains frustratingly hard to pinpoint.“Giants fans can certainly relate to the latter prank, since they’ve got plenty experience with a “stink bomb that builds strength yet remains frustratingly hard to pinpoint“:

Eli Manning