Say that you’re a guy who wants to start a career in UFC, but there’s no one around in your neighborhood to fight. Oh, and also you’re an idiot. Your mission is clear — start throwing rocks at random strangers, and hope you get your ass kicked.

That’s what a genius in Silverdale, Washington, did recently - police saying that he was “begging for a fight” by provoking a group of men and boys near a TJ Maxx store, because he was in training to be a UFC fighter and wanted to experience being pummeled. Instead, he got tackled by a sheriff’s deputy, and is now in Kitsap County Jail. Read more…

Despite the occasional craziness from chief Dana White, WWE-style bluster from Brock Lesnar, or morning TV sexytime from Tito Ortiz, UFC is still the serious big kid on the block when it comes to mixed martial arts. Fedor Emelianenko might be heading to Strikeforce, but in general when the best fighters on Earth get down to business, they do it in the Octagon.

Last night’s UFC 101 event was no exception, as the two main co-event victors Anderson Silva and B.J. Penn cemented themselves as two of MMA’s best fighters, both in surprisingly efficient - but quite different - fashion.

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Edith LaBelle is notable for two reasons: 1) a name that cannot possibly belong to somebody under the age of 87, and 2) being the well-endowed cage girl of UFC.

(Also an impossible name: “Zach Galifianakis.”)

You may have noticed that she was absent from UFC 100, and without announcement. UFC brought in Holly Madison for the event (what rotten luck for those in attendance, right?), and now they’ve announced a new ring girl, one Natasha Wicks. UFC refused to divulge details of LaBelle’s dismissal, explaining only that “something happened.” Which is true. Las Vegas Happened.

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Critics of mixed martial arts like to dismiss the sport as a kind of savage alternative to professional wrestling. They listen to blustering loudmouths like UFC’s Dana White and hear a young Vince McMahon, or they see UFC champion and former WWE wrestler Brock Lesnar and see…well, Brock Lesnar. The confusing (to outsiders) revolving doors of MMA sanctioning bodies doesn’t help, though that’s actually par for the course in a young and growing sport.

One way to combat those misconceptions is through reaching out to the public and showing that MMA fighters aren’t just ‘roided-up pro wrestlers and that their sport is legitimate. It’s an ongoing process, and one that got a boost when Tito Ortiz recently announced his return to UFC after a lengthy feud with White. Ortiz appeared with fellow UFC fighter Matt Serra on a Philadelphia TV morning show to banter with the host. In a display of journalistic excellence, the host was more concerned with the fighters getting naked than anything else.

(Video after the jump.)

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After Affliction’s sudden, immediate, largely hilarious demise in the world of fight promotion (no worries, meatheads, you can still wear those silly shirts with the skulls and stuff on them), all eyes were immediately trained on human/wolverine hybrid Fedor Emelianenko.

(FEDOR FACT: punching people in the face is awesome.)

With his stature and the seeming dearth of serious UFC competition for fellow destruction machine Brock Lesnar, it seemed like Emelianenko was a natural fit for moving to the UFC. As a matter of fact, the LOS ANGELES TIMES cited sources close to the situation in a report that Fedor would be signing with UFC by Friday.

Um, about that. Whoops.

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After months of teetering on the verge of disaster, Affliction was pushed over the edge this week when Josh Barnett dropped out of his heavyweight title match against Fedor Emelianenko scheduled to headline its August 1 PPV after failing a drug test. Yesterday the company announced that it was canceling the “Trilogy” PPV and has decided to cease operations.

And now comes word that Affliction has rejoined UFC as an official clothing supplier, which was the whole reason Affliction formed its own MMA organization in the first place. Effectively, Affliction waived the white flag, becoming the latest challenger to Dana White’s UFC empire to crack under the enormous pressure the MMA giant places on competition.

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Meet Tim Kennedy, a combat veteran who is assigned to the 7th Special Forces Group at Fort Bragg, N.C. (read: Green Beret). At least he will be posted there until Aug. 4, when his six-year enlistment runs out. Kennedy is choosing not to return, because his unit commanders won’t let him participate in his other love besides the U.S. military: Mixed Martial Arts.

By all appearances, he’s pretty good at both. Kennedy, who trained with Chuck Liddell before joining the Army, beat Nick Thompson, ranked 10th in the world in his weight class by MMAWeekly.com, on June 19 in a fight aired on Showtime. If it were me, I’d want someone like that on our side, and would do everything in my power to keep him happy. But then I’ve never invaded Iraq.

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The TORONTO GLOBE AND MAIL recently called MMA, albeit plaintively, “the miracle of sport marketing in the early 21st century.” It’s hard to argue. Even as recently as a year ago, EA Sports refused to believe MMA was a sport; now they’re fighting for a share of the burgeoning market. And now, with UFC 100 in the books, nobody doubts the staying power of the sport.

(Fortunately, Marcus Galvao eventually woke up.)

But perhaps the confidence is all premature. After all, the one hurdle MMA has never had to clear here in its heyday is its most inevitable, logical conclusion: death.

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OK, the second rule of Fight Club is, don’t be a homicidal pinhead and try to imitate one of the characters from Fight Club. Kyle Shaw, the misguided teenager charged with bombing a Manhattan Starbucks on Memorial Day, said that he was inspired by the character that Brad Pitt played in the 1999 film.

No one was hurt in the May 25 attack, when a homemade explosive device police say was planted by Shaw ripped a hole in a wooden bench outside the Starbucks. And thus we learn a valuable lesson: When you attempt to imitate a movie in which Meat Loaf is a main character, expect mixed results. Well, maybe when Shaw gets out of jail the UFC can use him as training fodder. Read more…

As you might recall, EA Sports revealed that they’re developing an MMA game, cleverly titled “MMA.” That’s strange, because the UFC already has their own game through THQ (with their own fighters, naturally) that’s already out and selling reasonably well.

(Are they seriously trying to brand this thing with a tramp stamp?)

Then again, it’s also strange because according to UFC’s head hypermanic gorilla in charge, Dana White, EA Sports told him just last year that his sport, well, wasn’t one. Fast forward to today, and the war is on.

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