Jay Not So Touch Feely About Chris Henry Death

Prodigious Twitter.com account holder Jay Feely Tweeted this after Chris Henry’s death was announced today:

Jay Feely Tweet About Chris Henry's Death

(Jay: How’s the air up that high (and mighty)?)

Probably not the best way to express himself at that moment. But don’t take my word for it.

Feely then followed with the obligatory backpedal. Sorta. Read more…

Ochocinco Twittering About Looming NFL Lockout

As you might recall, there’s a labor stoppage looming on the NFL’s horizon; without a new deal, the salary cap disappears in 2010, then play stops for 2011 and all hell breaks loose. Bad times, especially for the players. To that end, apparently, the NFLPA is taking today to meet with players about the lockout and to discuss the union’s strategy for attacking the possibility of a lockout.

Ochocinco Twitter Cap Lockout
(What? No way. Seriously, no way, right.)

What the NFLPA perhaps should not have done is invite notorious Tweetmonster Chad Ochocinco, who couldn’t get “be quiet” right if it were Wheel of Fortune and you spotted him the B, E, Q, and T. So naturally, Ocho kept his phone off during the proceedings and of course we’re lying, he’s been giving his followers updates the entire time. Oh, and just to prove that he’s reliable, he also claimed to get cut from the Bengals in the middle of the thing, so… your guess is as good as ours, really.

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Can A Nation Endure Chad Ochocinco’s Pink-Out?

Ah, they’re horrible! Look away!

Chad Ochocinco and his shoes

Like he was on some twisted episode of “Sex And The City,” Chad Ochocinco has spent all day today on Twitter assembling his pink ensemble for Sunday’s game at Cleveland. Above are his cleats. The NFL declared October Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and is allowing players to wear pink accessories; which for Ochco is like telling Elton John to “camp it up a bit.” Oh, you will regret this decision, NFL. Read more…

Charles Barkley Doesn’t Much Care For Twitter

Here’s the thing about Charles Barkley: he may come off as contrarian and opinionated and anti-establishment or whatever, but that’s not really the case. He’s just in the normal early stages of Cranky Old Man Syndrome, in which COMS sufferers begin alienating themselves from the changes in the world around them. It wasn’t immediately obvious; Barkley’s frequent shots at his superiors could have been just a garden-variety case of a problem with authority.

Charles Barkley Twitter Nerds Ogre

But now that he’s going after TWITTER, well, we’re kicking ourselves that we didn’t diagnose the COMS earlier. It’s so obvious, in retrospect. He doesn’t hate authority because they tell him not to do things, he’s just not used to the culture of responsibility. And the kids, with their Twitter Tweet Twoodles or whatever they’re called? Well, Charles Barkley doesn’t much cotton to these computers today.

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Week In Review: Cowboys Can’t Pick Any Winners

• The new Cowboys Stadium opens with a couple of embarrassing picks, courtesy of Tony Romo & Jerry Jones.

Tony Romo Jerry Jones nose pick

• Well, at least the fans had fun inside the new digs in Dallas - unless you had a “party pass” but weren’t allowed in.

• An angry Oregon fan wants his travel expenses back after watching the Ducks get plucked in Boise. So UO coach Chip Kelly sends him a check.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. delivers a verbal beatdown to Max Kellerman during Floyd’s post-fight interview.

• This week’s sports Twitter craziness comes courtesy Redskins LB Robert Henson, Larry Fitzgerald’s younger brother Marcus, and Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema.

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Plaxico’s First Night In Jail Could Have Gone Better

• How did Plaxico Burress’ first night behind bars go? Fine - if you discount the other inmate taunts of “A**hole!” & “The Giants suck!

Plaxico Burress courtroom

• Washington State RB James Montgomery underwent surgery on his injured knee last Sunday. And doctors soon learned that it was a good thing James didn’t delay - or he might have died.

• Could the Nets’ new owner have LeBron Russian to New Jersey?

Perez Hilton posts his doubts about whether Lamar Odom & Khloe Kardashian will actually tie the knot.

Evander Holyfield has the bright idea to turn his Georgia mansion into a solar power plant.

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Athlete Twitter Fail #362: Celtic Makes Vick Joke

Our story so far: Pro athletes are out of control with Twitter, embarrassing themselves and their organizations at an unprecedented rate. We’re going to need a Presidential decree to stop it at this point, I fear. Mr. Obama, you need to act now. Health reform can wait. The latest to enter the SbB Social Networking Hall of Fail: Marquis Daniels of the Boston Celtics.

Marquis Daniels

CELTIC HUB happened to notice on Wednesday that Daniels had tweeted a rather discomforting message to one of his readers. Unfortunately, as Twitter is available to read by everyone (you knew that, but pro athletes apparently do not), what was apparently a crude joke is now out there for everyone to enjoy. Dog lovers and Michael Vick fans may not be amused: Read more…

Dolphins Take Their Time, But Colts Take The Win

• The Dolphins held the ball for more than 30 minutes longer than the Colts, but it was Peyton Manning & Co. who left Land Shark Stadium with a 27-23 win on Monday night.

Peyton Manning Dolphins

• It’s a Twitter trifecta: First, Redskins rookie LB Robert Henson takes “dim wit” Washington fans to task for booing at FedEx Field.

• Then Marcus Fitzgerald bitches on behalf of brother Larry about the lack of catches the Cardinals WR is getting.

• And Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema admits that one of his scouting techniques is following the Tweets of opposing players.

• A South Carolina man is sentenced to life in prison without parole for the vicious stabbing death of a high school cheerleader.

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NFL Morality Police Wage War Against Bare Skin

Anyone who went to a conservative religious school growing up probably remembers the gusto with which teachers and administrators enforced school dress codes. Not paying attention in class? Who cares. Bullying freshmen in the hallway? No problem.  But heaven forbid a student show up to class with an uncollared shirt or too-short skirt - those were the real dangers facing the youth of America! Instant demerits!

Eric Wright short shorts

It’s kinda like the NFL. If you’re an NFL player, your job is to put your body in as much peril as possible to emerge victorious from one of the most brutal and vicious sports in this country. Players are accused of domestic violence with alarming regularity. Some players have killed other people, others have been implicated in murders. And yet they play on. But wear your shorts too far above the knee? That’ll be $5,000, you immoral hell-bound heathen.

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Badgers Coach Using Twitter To Scout Opponents

If you’re an athlete, going on Twitter & posting anything more controversial than where you went to dinner last night is akin to handing Lenny Dykstra your investment portfolio and telling him to “figure something out”: it’s pretty much a recipe for disaster. Not only are you running the risk of some pesky blog picking up a juicy post or picture of you with a big bag of weed in the background, but apparently now you might be giving information to your next opponent.

Bret Bielema

Ahead of his team’s game against Michigan State, Wisconsin head football coach Bret Bielema said that he uses Twitter to find out what opposing players are up to before the game. Which seems kind of pointless, unless a cornerback posts that he’s “OMG so hungover LOL” the morning before the game.

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