Muslims, Mounties Settle Things On Soccer Pitch

In a battle to decide which side wears funnier hats, a group of young Toronto-area Muslims took on the Mounties yesterday. And if you just jumped to conclusions without waiting for me to tell you it was a friendly game of soccer, then you, sir, are a racist.

Iron Sheik and The Mountie

As part of a community outreach program to improve relations between the police and T.O.’s Muslim community, the RCMP and a local Islamic center suited up for a match at BMO Field, home to MLS’ Toronto FC. The game ended in a 4-all tie, meaning that neither Canada nor the Middle East have achieved world supremacy…yet. Remember, if you don’t play a collapsing defense, then the terrorists have already won. Read more…

Toronto FC Fans Whizz at Church, Decent Soccer

Toronto FC fans are well on their way to reaching the dickweed bar they’ve set for themselves. They’ve already proven Toronto FC fans can’t control themselves when the first franchise goal is scored. Now they’re in midseason form by first kick in the 2008 season. The seven-hour bus ride to Columbus for the opening game against the Crew gave them time to marinade in alcohol.

Columbus Crewzers

(Come on, Toronto; the Columbus Crewzers have some pride)

The result? Hooting at Columbus Crew cheerleaders to “take off your tops”, throwing smoke bombs on the field, vomiting profusely, and then taking leaks in front of a church. Now that’s family-friendly MLS entertainment!
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