Jerry Jones Slips A Ball Gag On Wade Phillips

I know, I know, you’re shocked there could be some discord among the Dallas Cowboys. But rest assured, Ed Werder’s “scoops” will be a thing of the past, now that Herr Jones has put his jackbooted foot down on the loose lips that have helped sink Cowboy ships these past few years.

Jerry Jones

There’s a gag order in place now in Dallas, perhaps three months too late. Now any news out of Cowboy camp will come through one source: Jerry Jones himself. Still, I have to wonder how wise it is, if you have to limit the team to one voice, to make it the biggest mouth in the south. Read more…

Rex Ryan Mourns Ravens Loss By Taking Jets Job

While we know that for the Arizona Cardinals and Pittsburgh Steelers that Sunday was a great day and both teams were celebrating deep into the night, the feelings had to be the exact opposite for members of the Philadelphia Eagles and Baltimore Ravens.  Of course, how they responded to their heartbreak, we can’t be sure. For the Ravens, a lot of their postgame thoughts were probably devoted to Willis McGahee and whether or not he was still alive, but not defensive coordinator Rex Ryan’s.

Most of the Ravens probably hadn’t even finished showering or toweling themselves off when the New York Jets called Rex, and as Ray Lewis was no doubt still beating Joe Flacco in the corner of the locker room, Ryan was accepting an offer to become the next head coach of the Jets.

Read more…

Speed Read: NFL Teams Can Learn From Calgary

Give it up for our northern friends, the Calgary Stampeders, for capturing the Canadian Football League’s Grey Cup with a 22-14 win over the Montreal Alouettes. The pride of Temple University, Henry Burris, was named the MVP by totaling over 400 yards from the QB position, while Sandro DeAngelis was named the top Canadian after kicking five field goals. Yes, Canadians get their own award, and yes, it’s probably also in French.

Grey Cup champion Calgary Stampeders

(A typical Calgarian)

So while the Canadian championship may be but a footnote in American sports blurbs, briefs, whirlwinds, and newspaper agate pages, the NFL teams could certainly learn from the Stamps to help further their franchises.

• Tennessee Titans — So you lost your first game? You got whacked by the New York Jets at home 34-13? No worries. The Stamps lost 37-16 at home to the Edmonton Eskimos back on September 1.
• Arizona Cardinals — Don’t worry about the loss to the 37-29 loss to the New York Giants. Like the Stampeders’ Burris, Kurt Warner also played in the NFL Europe for a year. And if that’s not enough solace, then I don’t know what to tell you.
• Bears, Broncos, Dolphins, Bills, Broncos, and whoever wins the Packers/Saints game tonight: You all have five losses. Aw, poor babies. Calgary’s regular season record? 13-5. (Oh, yeah, and the Giants lost six last year. But that doesn’t apply here.)
• Browns, Jaguars, Chargers, Eagles, and whoever loses the Packers/Saints game tonight — you all had high hopes this year, but it’s just not looking like it’ll happen this year. No sweat. Last year the Stampeders went 7-10-1.
• Detroit Lions — You guys, much like many of the players on the Stampeders, still have your health.

Bill Snyder

Know how your co-worker got an iPhone, so everyone else got one? In a trend of reverse cutting edge technology, college teams are now embracing old solutions to new problems having seen what’s going on in Penn State. Rather than get a trendy receivers coach to lead a big-time program, Kansas State will announce this morning that Bill Snyder, 69 years young, will return as the Wildcats’ head coach. Joe Paterno will now have someone to discuss what it was like to listen to Harry Truman’s speech.

Leather Football

Time once again for a lesson on non-tie NFL rules: A team is allowed to attempt a field goal without an oncoming rush if the team just made a fair catch off a punt. The Arizona Cardinals knew this, and with five ticks left in the first half of their game against the Giants in such a position, Neil Rackers attempted a 68-yard field goal, which would’ve been the longest kick in NFL history by five yards. Let’s take a look-see:

Hmm. Too bad that attempt didn’t make his famous “hit the post four times” commercial.

Thanksgiving Dinner

Yum. Can you fit in ten more Thanksgiving metaphors this week? How about links instead?

  • It’s another NFL Network Thanksgiving miracle, thanks to Sen. Arlen Specter, apparently chairman on the Subcommittee to Fix Sports Things. The Philadelphia Eagles-Arizona Cardinals game will be shown on local Pennsylvania TV stations, although perhaps after Sunday’s loss, this is more of a curse than a blessing.
  • THE DUGOUT isn’t a fan of Mike Mussina, but likes him enough to transplant him in an intergalactic war.
  • Old hat: Japanese veteran baseball player. New fedora: Japanese phenom baseball player. Old hat again: the Red Sox sign him, NPB TRACKER reports (or translates SPONICHI ANNEX’s report, which is the same thing). Jinichi Tazawa will get $3 million over 3 years, but will have to develop his Japanese-taught mannerisms in an American-style pitching system. Baseball purists ought to keep an eye on this project.
  • JOE POSNANSKI can’t seem to stop thinking about MVP arguments and how fun they are. Hey, they are fun!
  • THE MIAMI HERALD wonders what Tony Sparano should do with Joey Porter after the Dolphins linebacker refused to leave the field after being yanked by his coach.
  • More from the Fins/Pats game: Matt Light and Channing Crowder could be BFFs for the rest of us know, but at the worst possible time they got in kind of a fight. BALLHYPE has video proof.
  • Contrary to previous optimism in which the Detroit Lions could win a game this year: the DETROIT NEWS’ John Niyo is reporting the Detroit Lions probably won’t win a game this year.
  • Cliff Lee isn’t just the Cy Young winner, he also won “Cleveland’s Man Of The Year” as voted on by the local chapter of the BBWAA. Also some guy named Luis Isaac, who was with the Indians for over 40 years, won an award for getting fired and not being a bitch about it. The award, unfortunately, is not a new job.
  • The TORONTO STAR’s Rosie DiManno isn’t at all fooled at the Maple Leafs honoring Wendel Clark in a ceremony last night, since the Leafs haven’t won the Stanley Cup in 41 years because Clark isn’t seven people.
  • And finally, it’s time for your Iranian sports news update. The Grizzlies’ Hamed Haddadi will be sent down to the Dakota Wizards of the NBA D-League. Hey, it beats getting flipped off by your GM. Almost.

So, the BCS got a bit complicated over the weekend. Assuming Alabama stays undefeated, who deserves to play them in the BCS Title Game?

View Results

(Note: I left Florida out because if Alabama stays undefeated, they will have to beat the Gators in the SEC Championship, putting them at two losses.)

Unimpressed With Cassel, Porter Predicts Fins Win

Wait, Joey Porter’s still in the league? Huh, I thought he had retired, or been abducted by aliens or some such because he’s been keeping a low profile since the Steelers released him following the 2006 season.

Joey Porter

That might have everything to do with his new team, the Miami Dolphins, and their jaw-droppingly awful 1-15 record last year. Such futility quiets even the loudest trash talkers, and apparently, that’s exactly what has happened to J. Peezy. Until now, anyhow. With Tom Brady done for the year, Porter is seizing on what he perceives is a golden opportunity for the Dolphins to turn things around. Yep, he’s smacking his gums about Matt Cassel, and even hints at a Miami victory this weekend.

Read more…

Parcells Denies Taylor Snub, Blames Hearing Aids

We can’t believe our ears over the latest turn in the Jason Taylor saga. It’s well known that the Dolphins weren’t too pleased with their defensive star out Dancing With The Stars when he should have been (voluntarily) working out with the team. In fact, Bill Parcells apparently gave Jason the cold shoulder during an earlier visit, and coach Tony Sparano announced that Taylor wouldn’t be coming to camp.

Jason Taylor Bill Parcells

Now everyone seems to be changing their tune. Sparano says he wants Taylor back on the field with the ‘Fins. And Parcells denies giving Jason the big brush-off. And if he did snub Taylor, it wasn’t intentional - Bill just forgot his hearing aids that day. Read more…

Erin Andrews Talks To Bloggers; Smoltz Silenced

This chesty Celtics fan once tried to make Jack Nicholson look like a boob.

Erin Andrews does the unthinkable - talks with some sports bloggers.

Erin Andrews Jamie Mottram Dan Steinberg

(Jamie Mottram & Dan Steinberg check out the view)

• Scheduled shoulder surgery smushes John Smoltz’s season.

• What lady could resist the charms of a pseudo Sonics employee?

Santana Moss misses Monday practice after a 3-day birthday bacchanalia.

• Green Bay is being gorged of its local sportscasters.

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Dolphins Coach Now Claims He Wants Taylor Back

One would think that Bill Parcells protege Tony Sparano would be all too eager to watch his aging Pro Bowler Jason Taylor dance off his roster for 2008. Especially considering the coach said as much to the media two weeks ago.

Jason Taylor Dancing With The Stars

(Dolphins Coach Sparano suddenly ready to step in for Edyta?)

Not so, says the Dolphins head coach. Read more…

Taylor Talks About Supposed Training Camp Snub

Last week, Dolphins coach Tony Sparano announced that Jason Taylor would not be taking part in the team’s training camp this summer. Now the Dancin’ fool has stepped up to respond.

Jason Taylor Edyta Sliwinska dancing

Mike Malloy of the PALM BEACH POST reports that Taylor finally spoke with the media about the workout-missing matter. However, he wasn’t back in Miami just yet. Read more…

Dolphins: Taylor Not Coming To Training Camp

Miami Dolphins defensive star & Dancing fool Jason Taylor already said that he was skipping out on Friday’s voluntary mini-camp.

The team’s response? If you’re not coming in on Friday, don’t bother coming in to training camp at all.

Jason Taylor Dolphins

The MIAMI HERALD reports that Taylor won’t be showing up during the Dolphins’ summer practice. Coach Tony Sparano announced on Wednesday that Taylor “will not attend any of the team’s minicamps, organized team activities (OTA) or training camp.” He declined to further elaborate or answer any questions from the media.

So, is this the last waltz for Taylor in south Florida? Is he finally free to further pursue his dreams of Hollywood stardom? Will Bill Parcells bid him a tearful goodbye?

Jason Taylor Soon Dancing Away From Dolphins?

While Jason Taylor Dances with the Stars, Dolphins management might cha-cha his contract over to another club.

Jason Taylor on Dancing With The Stars

The PALM BEACH POST reports that Miami is looking to trade the veteran defensive end, hopefully for a first round pick in this Saturday’s draft.

Rumored to be interested in Taylor’s services are the Jacksonville Jaguars, who were considering Jared Allen before the Chief DE was sent to Minnesota. But when asked about jumping at the chance at Jason, Jags coach Jack Del Rio sounded discouraged, saying In the history of our league … rarely are teams willing to part with those players.

But the ‘Fins may be more willing than Jack thinks, as there’s concern that their start player should be drilling instead of dancing:

Read more…