My Car Is Invincible! No One Can Stop … D’OH!

I like the Indianapolis 500 because it’s a lot like life: One minute you’re on top, and the next you’re hurtling into the wall, missing certain critical parts. Also there’s lots of beer. Your leader as of this moment is Scott Dixon of New Zealand, who won the race from the pole position last season. Wait, here comes Helio Castroneves!

Indianapolis 500

Update: Your winner is Castroneves, who won his third Indy 500 five weeks after being acquitted of tax evasion charges. As CBS Sportsline said, what a country.

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Racer’s Wife: Place Behind Danica, Wear A Dress

Tony Kanaan’s wife suggests her IRL hubby go throw on a dress if he’s gonna qualify behind Danica Patrick.

Danica Patrick red dress

Maybe a little stylish number like this?

• Speaking of married life, a couple of Dallas DJs don’t show much respect to some of the Royals’ significant others.

• First, Mindy McCready’s mom confirms her daughter’s connection to Roger Clemens. Now, the country singer’s dad adds that the two did the tantric tango together.

Jason Taylor tries to bring some football flair to “Dancing With The Stars.” Bill Parcells remains unimpressed.

Hulk Hogan caught placing his 24-inch pythons on some pretty posteriors.

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Wife Deflates Driver For Qualifying Behind Danica

We’re all pleased as punch that Danica Patrick finally won her first race recently. And we’re also tickled pink that Ashley Force tasted victory last weekend, as well. Yes, sir - when it comes to auto racing, sisters are doing it for themselves.

Tony Kanaan Danica Patrick

(Tony Kanaan doesn’t see the problem in being behind Danica Patrick)

However, one fellow female isn’t so pleased with Danica’s recent success - especially when it comes at the expense of her husband. JALOPNIK revs up news that Dani Kanaan, wife of IRL driver Tony, had some harsh words for her hubby when he didn’t qualify ahead of Patrick in a race last year.

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