It’s Official, Apparently: Tom Brady Going To Hell

Ever wonder which of your favorite athletes will be unavailable to sign autographs in Heaven? In case you were planning on hobnobbing with Tom Brady up there, think again. According to one North Carolina church, he’ll be hanging out in the other pace. And they don’t mean Newark.

The Devil and Tom Brady

According to the Amazing Grace Baptist Church (Canton, N.C.) Brady, along with several other athletes, are headed to straight to hell. In Brady’s case, it’s chiefly because he “has an unwed child,” and “commits fornication.” But that’s nothing compared to Joakim Noah, who, says the church, is going to hell because he “Has long hair, which is disobedient to the Word of God.”

I’ve been meaning to get it trimmed. Who knew that a long wait at Supercuts would result in eternal damnation? Read more…