• Darren Rovell of CNBC knows a close shave is a-Bruin for Boston hockey fans, as Gillette is on the cutting edge of Zamboni sponsorship.

• The BOSTON GLOBE lassos in word that Tom Brady would think it super if Gisele Bundchen dresses as Wonder Woman.

• GOSSIP ON SPORTS via HOCKEY BEAT splashes up some photos of Elisha Cuthbert frolicking in the surf with the Calgary Flames’ Dion Phaneuf.

• DEADSPIN receives rumors that Marvin Harrison may have some more skeletons in his clean-cut closet.

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Well, a New York-based TV network can at least pretend, right? On a recent episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, a popular quarterback who wears No. 12 and dates a foreign supermodel was convicted of murdering his secret gay lover.

No, it’s not No. 12-wearing, supermodel-dating Tom Brady. Nice guess, though! It’s fictional No. 12-wearing, supermodel-dating Lincoln Haver. Totally different people, notes THE BOSTON HERALD. Because, Brady didn’t kill his secret gay lover. Haver did. Read more…

REEL MOVIE NEWS shares some interesting info about Gisele Bundchen’s burgeoning film career. Apparently, the gal pal of Pats QB Tom Brady is on the verge of landing what’s sure to be her breakout role - as the female lead of the next “Austin Powers” movie.

Reportedly, (the) Brazilian beauty already has been given the script; her agent will meet soon with Mike Myers and director Jay Roach.

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• Ten-hut! MARINE CORPS TIMES reports that John Paxson’s son Ryan is leaving the college court and joining the Leathernecks.

• The experts have already done it, so now it’s your turn to try your hand at the SPORTING NEWS’ 1986 Strat-O-Matic season.

• FOOD COURT LUNCH gives us/poetry of star athletes/in lovely haiku.

• Al Iannazzone of the BERGEN (NJ) RECORD believes John Calipari should play it smart and stay in school.

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• 100% INJURY RATE doesn’t believe it’s awesome, baby, to see Dick Vitale dressed as Cinderella.

• BULLZEYE puts together an all-star pro football team without football players.

• RANDBALL cuts to the chase, as some Minnesota wrestlers were penalized in the NCAA championships for not shaving properly.

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• YOU BEEN BLINDED grabs this clip of Smush Parker getting a good grip on a titilating situation.

• SNOTR.COM finds footage of a female weightlifter hoisting up her load at break-neck speed.

• 100% INJURY RATE was close to being a bomb Dodger, as L.A.’s Chan Ho Park almost started World War III.

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• Derek Jeter hopes to get a hold of a Virginia Tech valentine.

• Surely Bud Selig was nervous about experiencing in-flight plane trouble? Of course he wasn’t - and don’t call me Shirley.

• Tom Brady & Eli Manning meet again - to look for some sensible slacks.

• A group of Cuban soccer players in Florida hotfoot it to freedom.

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