Test Positive For Cocaine? Blame It On The Booze

Cyclist Tom Boonen, whom you’ve probably never heard of before, has a bit of a cocaine problem. Or so he’s told, anyway; he can’t quite remember. That’s because for as substantial a problem as three positive tests for cocaine goes, it’s the method by which he got to that drug usage that’s the bigger problem: sweet mama booze!

Tom Boonen Cyclist
(He also appears to be a world champion crotchman, which is the only reason we could imagine why he’d be dressed like that.)

Yes, it appears that Boonen isn’t necessarily copping to knowingly using cocaine in the instances where he tested positive (only two of which broke cycling rules; the third came during the off-season, where it’s actually not illegal to test positive for the booger sugar). He is copping to getting so drunk he doesn’t remember what he did, then having cocaine in his system, so we can probably do the math on this one.

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