ESPN’s Mike Patrick Is Really Starting To Worry Us

Remember when TV play-by-play announcer Mike Patrick went off the rails three months ago, flubbing a crucial play during an ESPN college football broadcast because he was talking on-air about Britney Spears? Well AWFUL ANNOUNCING reports that he was back on Britney’s (ever-expanding) bandwagon (and Jamie Lynn’s!) Thursday night during something called the Champs Sports Bowl on ESPN.

Mike Patrick Britney Spears

Patrick’s on-air partner Todd Blackledge: “Do you have Britney Spears on your I-Pod too?”
Patrick: “No….No…..Fortunately……………She may have lent out the Double Wide. To another family member (giggles uncontrollably)

Mike Patrick ESPN Announcer Smirnoff Aficionado

Are we the only ones out there who have always wondered why ESPN hands plum PBP assignments to Patrick? I suppose we shouldn’t get greedy, though. Patrick’s previous partner, Joe Theismann, is off the air. And another on-air acquaintance, Paul Maguire, is banished to backup college games on ESPN. So we won’t push our luck, and MP seems harmless enough, usually getting the score and down-and-distance right. Usually.

As an urelated cheap shot aside, we recently had someone in front of us in the cashier’s checkout line at a Mississippi truck stop (don’t ask) buy five cartons of cigarettes . Before that frightful experience, Mike Patrick was the only person we could’ve imagined initiating such a transaction.

Auburn Tigers Assistant Coach Heard by ESPN Cameras Calling Arkansas Motherf*ckers

ESPN KNOWS AUBURN ASSISTANT SWEARS BY HIS DEFENSE: Funny how during low-scoring snooze-fests, the lack of passion on the field can be made up for by the staff off it. First, the Zooker shoves a cameraman after the Illini’s 10-6 loss to Iowa. Now, we find an Auburn coach selecting some choice in-game words when talking about the opposition:

Auburn coach Will Muschamp ESPN swear

(Above video features NSFW language)

While televising Auburn’s 9-7 triumph over Arkansas, ESPN microphones caught Tigers defensive coordinator Will Muschamp giving his tough troops some uncensored encouragement.Auburn had just made another stand against QB Casey Dick and the lackluster Razorback offense. (The play included Mike Patrick calling the action as, “Dick pressured in the end zone.“)As the D came off the field, Muschamp could be heard over the air greeting his kids with these ribald remarks:

Will Muschamp Auburn hug

Boom! Motherf—er, yeah! That’s what I’m talking about! Knock these motherf—ers out!

Oblivious to Muschamp’s audible outburst, ESPN analyst Todd Blackledge quickly commented, “Well, Will Muschamp just has to be thrilled with the way his defense has been playing.”

F— yeah, he’s thrilled!