As some of our readers pointed out in the provided photo, the gal in the bikini in the lower right is not the same woman seen smiling next to the Gators QB. She is in fact busty British model Lucy Pinder. And as far as we know, Timmy has not been living it up with Lucy, either.
We regret the error. And as a token to our faithful audience, please accept this pleasant pictorial of Ms. Pinder as our apology:
It’s easy to understand Ricky Rubio’s reluctance to leave the sun, style and nightlife of Spain for Minnesota. But when UNC’s Wayne Ellington said he was hoping to be drafted by his hometown 76ers, I did a double take. Wayne! Anyone who even survives 18 years in Philly is blessed. Why do you want to go back?
Above would be exhibits A and B. That’s Wayne’s girlfriend, a 19-year-old college student in Philadelphia, and suddenly his desire to stay close to home seems a little less crazy.
I don’t play video games nearly as often as I did while still a teenager, but each year I do buy the newest version of EA Sports’ NCAA Football and then spend about two weeks ignoring all friends and responsibilities before putting the controller down. Every year when I get the game, I also make sure that I spend about an hour to an hour and a half manually entering the names of all the players on whichever team I’ve chosen, and the key players from the other schools as well. I just get tired of yelling at WR #83 for dropping passes, I need to know his name to make it real.
Of course the reason I have to do this is because EA Sports can’t use the actual players’ names because even though the NCAA licenses all the schools, mascots, stadiums, etc., they can’t allow them to use the players’ likenesses. Something about them being student athletes and not letting anybody profit off of them except themselves. So using a number instead of a name allows EA to do this.
However, that’s still across the line if you’re former Nebraska and Arizona State quarterback Sam Keller. He’s decided to sue both EA Sports and the NCAA about it.
The next time somebody complains about the obscene amounts of money put into a large Division I athletic program amid these tough economic times, remember, citizens, that it is your duty as a fan to encourage them to kindly take such a complaint and forcefully insert it into a bodily orifice of your choosing. Choose creatively, though; people remember the first time they’re told to f*** themselves in the ear. The reality is that at these institutions, the athletic department is a self-supporting, highly profitable wing of the university that routinely pours money back into the school on a net basis, not the other way around. It’s delightful fun to tell an English T.A. that the athletic department pays its own bills, and their department might want to try that sometime. It’d be best if you don’t like them in the first place, otherwise the room gets chilly. But I digress.
(Tebow also plans to raise money by selling this baby.)
The University of Florida, like everything on the entire planet, is facing a dramatic economic shortfall right now, and one of the plans involves cutting well over 700 jobs and shutting down several academic problems. But over there in the athletic wing, the Gators are swimming in their own Scrooge McDuck money pit, delirious with joy over the attention and revenue that accompanies a national title and a returning Heisman Trophy winner in Tim Tebow (maybe you’ve heard of him). One half of the school’s bleeding money, the other half’s printing it. Hmmm…
There’s a lot of things you can say about Tim Tebow - his Christian act can come across as really self-righteous, his motivational barking and woofing on the sideline can seem overblown, you get the picture - but it’s pretty hard to claim that he’s not a good person. He really does do a lot of charity work, and despite the University of Florida asking him not to sign autographs last season, he continued to do so because he felt like he’d be letting down his fans if he didn’t.
($36.99 and it’s yours … much to Tebow’s chagrin.)
Well, now he’s pulled the rug out from that practice, deciding that too many of his autograph seekers are trying to profit off his collegiate fame. According to the ST. PETERSBURG TIMES’ GATOR REPORT, Tebow is backing off from signing for everyone, largely because he thinks half of the stuff he signs is ending up on eBay.
The Heisman Trophy has become an itinerant worker the last few years. After 9/11, the Downtown Athletic Club sent its baby ’round to various venues for the ceremony.
Eventually, the DAC settled on a deal with the brand-new Sports Museum of America in Lower Manhattan last year to give it a proper home and a job as unofficial greeter and legitimizing force for the museum.
(If it’s okay, could the Heisman stay with you just for a few days? You know, till it gets back on its sturdy base.)
Moreover, brothers and sisters, we declare to you the gospel which we preached to you by which also you are saved from life without Tim Tebow in Florida, if you keep in memory what we preached to you, unless you have believed in vain that He shall return for his senior season.
For we delivered to you first of all that which we also received, how that Tebow won the BCS Championship Game again according to the Brennaman; And that he took a few days to think it over, and that he rose again the third day according to the ORLANDO SENTINEL; And that he was seen of Urban Meyer for another season, then of the eleven (except Percy Harvin because, c’mon, who are we kidding). Read more…
It was close, but last night’s BCS Championship Game was far from a classic. Now nobody’s sure who the best team in the country is, with Utah, USC, and Texas all able to make legitimate claims. It certainly didn’t look like either one of the teams playing last night deserved it. The only thing we do know is that Fox broadcaster Thom Brennaman has a Florida-sized man crush on Tim Tebow, who finally decided to not suck in the fourth quarter of the Gators’ 24-14 win over Oklahoma. Brennaman and Charles Davis‘ gushing reached unbearable levels late in the game, when, after Tebow received a taunting penalty, they suggested that he was baited into it by an OU player (with zero evidence to suggest that was true). How could this guy have possibly done anything wrong?:
As for the Sooners, Sam Bradford continued a storied tradition of that year’s Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback playing like crap in the title game. Lions fans officially have nothing to look forward to.
The highlight of the game for me personally was the fact that ACC referee Ron Cherry was involved. Cherry made waves last season for creating a new reason to call a personal foul:
We know that the coaches are supposedly required to give their #1 vote to the BCS winner (although Utah’s Kyle Whittingham says he’s voting for his team), but the AP title was up for grabs. And even though Florida’s win could be considered somewhat lackluster (the defensive effort was really good, I’ll admit), they got 48 of 64 first-place votes, with the Utes receiving the other 16 and finishing #2. Way to make a statement, there, disgruntled sportswriters of America.
Rocco Baldelli and his weird mystery disease signed with the Red Sox yesterday. He’ll only get $500,00 in base salary, but can earn an additional $1.75 million if he stays on the roster all year. John Smoltz is rumored to be the next signing for the Red Sox. Meanwhile, Trevor Hoffmansigned a $6 million dollar deal to be the closer for the Brewers this year.
Let’s get on with the linking:
• YAHOO SPORTS’ Adrian Wojnarowski writes that the Portland Trail Blazers are threatening litigation against any team that decides to sign Darius Miles. The Blazers were able to purge Miles’ contract from their salary cap last year when they succesfully argued that he had suffered career-ending injuries. But Miles recovered, and has played eight games. If he plays two more games, his salary goes back on Portland’s cap, limiting the Blazers’ versatility in the offseason free-agent market and also sending luxury tax money to every other team in the league. The Blazers are worried that some team will sign Miles to a 10-day contract just to screw them over.
• Stanford’s win over Washington in women’s basketball was expected. But nobody really thought the Cardinal would win the game by 77 points. Yikes. It’s the largest margin of victory in Pac-10 history. Stanford led 62-15 at halftime and rolled to a 112-35 win. The SEATTLE P-I has the game story.
• Iowa Hawkeyes radio broadcaster and former NFL player Ed Podolak was having some fun down in Tampa last week before the Outback Bowl. THE WIZ OF ODDS has the photos, courtesy of an Iowa State message board (of course):
• Curt Schilling is getting after Dan Shaughnessy again, this time about Shaughnessy treating Roger Clemens and Pedro Martinez differently in the same situation and suggesting the race card. THE BIG LEAD has the details.
• The EXAMINER’s Paula Duffy reports that the WNBA and L.A. Sparks are doing their best to pretend that they aren’t furious over the news that 2008 league MVP Candace Parker is pregnant. Parker is set to give birth in May, and it’s unclear when she’ll be able to return to the court, if at all, in 2009.
It started so well for Cincinnati in the Orange Bowl against Virginia Tech. On their first drive of their first-ever BCS bowl game, they marched down the field and scored a touchdown thanks to a pair of big receptions by TE Mardy Gilyard. It was an instant 7-0 lead and a sign to anyone switching over from the dog that was the Rose Bowl that this game could be good.
And then…pfft. Cincinnati spent the rest of the game playing like a team that was scared to death of being on the big stage. Meanwhile, the Hokies were being the Hokies - physical, methodical, boring - and just doing enough to salt the game away. The end result? A 20-7 Virginia Tech victory that was moderately more fun to watch than the Sun Bowl. (Hey, at least El Paso had The Village People!)
Meanwhile, in Japan…well, it’s your usual assortment of weirdness from the world of K-1. Specifically, their latest fight card was headlined by Bob Sapp, who combines the physique of Butterbean with the MMA fighting skills of Kimbo Slice into one freak show package that the Japanese can’t get enough of even if no one in the US cares. (Sort of like Cheap Trick.)
His latest opponent? Um, some guy in a wrestling mask that Sapp outweighed by 140 pounds. And oh yeah, the guy he fought was based on a cartoon character named Kinnikuman. Basically, it’s like if Brock Lesnar fought against the actual Captain Crunch. No, I don’t get it either, but I don’t get most Japanese things (Shonen Knife, sushi, Bobby Valentine). CAGE WRITER has analysis of the card and video of the Sapp/Fictional Character match:
Here’s what else was happening while you were breaking some to all of your New Year’s Resolutions:
Bad news for Florida Gator fans: AWFUL ANNOUNCING says that according to Fox, Tim Tebowhas apparently decided to transfer to Cincinnati. And play right tackle. And convert to Islam. Either that, or the graphics department at Fox is a mess.
UTEP back-up QB Jeken Frye was attacked on New Year’s Eve by a group of known gang members who came to the house he was at armed with crowbars and metal water meter covers. Not to make light of a serious situation, but honestly - metal water meter covers?
The roof of the Ora L. Wildermuth Intramural Center at Indiana was damaged by careless welders (wasn’t that a Wham song?), according to the AP. It’s named after the former school president from the 1930s and 1940s who favored strict segregation. Chuck D. says to let the sucker burn.
In case you missed it (and frankly, I can’t imagine that you did), video has finally been posted of David Hasselhoff’s triumphant National Anthem performance at the Las Vegas Bowl. And you know what? He’s not quite Marvin Gaye, but it wasn’t a Carl Lewis-style meltdown, either.
CAGE WRITER has another UFC fighter doing a Rampage Jackson impersonation: Josh Neer was arrested after leading Iowa police on a lengthy, high-speed car chase. Yeah, but it wasn’t a monster truck, and he sure didn’t have his picture on the side of his car.
The CINCINNATI ENQUIRER has word of a girls high school basketball player who is suing her school because she was injured while scrimmaging against men. But the good news is that the way her shoulder separated was very fundamentally sound.
Eastern Washington head basketball coach Kent Earlywine missed out on coaching his team against Boise State on Monday, according the SPOKANE SPOKESMAN-REVIEW, because he had been popped for a DUI that weekend. But he was able to watch the game online. I guess he had his “wine” a little too “early,” huh? (Insert rimshot here.)
The MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE says Minnesota Golden Gophers head hockey coach Don Lucia is suffering from an “undisclosed illness” and might miss his first-ever game in 22 years of coaching the team when they take on Brown tonight. I once went a whole three weeks at my old job between missing time with an “undisclosed illness,” otherwise known as being hungover.
The SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE debunks the latest Manny Ramirez rumors, saying “it would be a mistake to put too much stock” into rumors that have the slugger coming to the Giants next season. Still, if you think Dodgers fans hated Barry Bonds…
Don Larsen might have pitched the only perfect game in World Series history, but the SEATTLE TIMES says his flight from Idaho to New York to tape a segment for the new MLB Network was a perfect mess, turning a 60-hour trip into six days of travel hell.
Remember way back in October, when the Indianapolis Colts were 3-4 and their playoff hopes looked completely dead in the water? What a difference a couple of months make. Last night’s 31-24 win over the Jacksonville Jaguars was the team’s eighth straight, clinching a playoff berth and as the INDIANAPOLIS STAR notes, made them the first team ever to win 11 or more games in six straight seasons. And Tony Dungy became the first coach since the merger to make the playoffs in ten straight years.
All impressive, but the star of the night was Peyton Manning. You might not have noticed, but after struggling a bit during the team’s early slump, Peyton’s stepped out of his little brother Eli’s shadow, putting together a string of great performances despite not having a run game to speak of. And last night might have been his best yet: 364 yards and three touchdowns, including completing his first 17 passes in a row.
If he keeps this up, he might get some endorsements in the future. The game was a bit of a letdown for Jaguars fans, but their highlight had to come before the game, when paralyzed lineman Richard Collier took the field in a wheelchair with his teammates. No jokes there, just a Christmas wish that no other NFL players (or athletes) are the victims of needless crime in 2009.
Meanwhile, the NFL wants you to become a narc. Not about drugs (so please stop following Ricky Williams around, thanks), but about unruly fan behavior. USA TODAY reports that NFL teams are giving fans a way to report obnoxious fans to stadium security by sending a text message.
It’s more discreet than having to find a security guard and point someone out, but it does lend itself to “prank texts” of people wanting to kick people out of the stadium. For example, Buffalo fans shouldn’t text message security and demand that Dick Jauron is kicked out of the stadium for “impersonating an NFL head coach.” Note: the Saints, Rams and Titans don’t offer this service, so feel free to act like complete cretins at these games.
NESW SPORTS has footage of Chris Webber going “Iraqi Shoe Thrower” on Charles Barkley in the name of “Gene Chiznik” (I think he meant Chizik). I haven’t seen Sir Charles move that fast since a Vegas pit boss came towards him to collect his marker:
They’re getting Wrigley Field ready for the Winter Classic NHL game, and apparently they’re also indulging in some egg nog (or Old Style) while they are at it. GOING FIVE HOLE has video of an incident that occurred while unloading one of the Zambonis. Just call it a “Zam-boner.”
In case you missed it, Tim Tebow questioned Mel Kiper Jr. on why the draft pundit thought he wouldn’t make it as an NFL QB, and the Hair Helmeted One really didn’t have a good answer. COLLEGE FOOTBALL TALK says that comments like that (and anger over not winning the Heisman Trophy this year) might drive Tebow from Florida and into the NFL.
GOLF DIGEST says that Jack Nicklaus has a holiday message for Tiger Woods: get well soon, but don’t break any more of my records. And get off my lawn!
THE SPORTING BLOG rolls up with word that Bronson Arroyo’s personal motto is “It ain’t no fun unless the homeys can have some!” from a Snoop Dogg song, meaning sharing the sexual services of young ladies with your friends. Talk about a Hot Corner…
