Bobby Jenks Doesn’t Read, Loves His Own Butt

Every now and again, THE SPORTING NEWS rolls out a profile of a pro athlete with questions that are supposed to go beyond standard Facebook boilerplate. For the most part, the interviews read as straight standard operating procedure; a little bit of personality, not much attitude. Then there’s the case of White Sox closer Bobby Jenks, who makes it clear that he’s a rip roarin redneck the way that Keanu Reeves is a horrendous actor.

bobby jenks horrible goatee

(Thank God he has such a fine ass … oh wait.)

How can we be so sure? Oh, let us count the ways. In fact, let’s just check out the most choice of Jenks’ survey responses:

What I’m reading: Read? I don’t even read the newspaper. 

Favorite physical attribute about myself: I have a nice butt.

What’s in my iPod: Anything ’80s rock

If you can believe it, there’s even more after the jump. Much more.

Read more…