Texas DE Turns Co-Ed’s Bedroom Into Drive-Thru

Sergio Kindle is many things. He’s a Texas Longhorn, a defensive end, a linebacker, and an All-Conference player. He’s also the inventor and namesake of Amazon’s Kindle device [Oh for crying out loud, no he isn’t!–ed.] [Hang on, I’m turning a beautiful segue here.] [That doesn’t mean you can just flat-out lie.–ed] [Watch me.], so you’d think he would be as much an expert on using portable electronics safely.

Car go flying
(The most amazing part? Her bedroom was on the third floor! Okay, no it wasn’t.)

Oh, but you’d think wrong, considering the epic multitasking fail Kindle just executed last week. While driving through the West Campus district of Austin in the early morning hours of Wednesday, Kindle decided that he needed to send a text message to a friend. Or, we suppose, an enemy. We weren’t in the car with him or anything. Whatever the message was, it was significantly engrossing that Kindle apparently careened into an apartment building, according to BARKING CARNIVAL. And then things got weird.

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LOL! Florida Cheerleader Sends 35K Txts A Month

These are the people who drive up the price of unlimited texting plans. According to the ORLANDO SENTINEL, one Florida high school cheerleader sent more than 35,000 texts in a single month twice in the past year.

Cheerleaders texting

(OMG! Can you believe Emilee?)

For those of you who are more mathematically inclined, you’ll realize that breaks down to approximately 74 messages per hour, more than one coming or going each minute (once sleep is factored in … assuming she does sleep). And the most amazing thing about young Emilee Cox’s texting? No one seems to mind.

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Clemens Not Too Busy To Text Joba Some Advice

It’s nice to see that steroid allegations & Mindy McCready macking rumors haven’t kept Roger Clemens from staying in touch with his old teammates.

Joba Chamberlain Roger Clemens

Mel Antonen of USA TODAY gets the good word from Joba Chamberlain, as the Yankees hurler explains how he’s been in constant contact with the Rocket through the miracle of text messaging:

“We text back and forth and I ask him a lot of questions, because that’s how you get better,” Chamberlain said before the Yankees’ game in Baltimore Tuesday night. “You can’t be afraid to ask questions. I ask him everything from workout questions to how to pitch to certain batters. I never thought I’d be texting Roger Clemens.”

So, what kind of sage advice has Clemens bestowed upon young Joba? Read more…