What’s In A Text: The Houshmandzadeh Stratagem

The NFL free agency period kicked off not with a bang, but with a text. T.J. Houshmandzadeh ushered in the speculation and salivation with a text message to a Philadelphia radio station reading: ““I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but if they want me, I will be an Eagle tomorrow.”

T.J. Houshmandzadeh

Stirring stuff. Wouldn’t it be great if all athletes clearly and publicly said where they wanted to go, the team indicated their mutual interest, and the two sides compromised on a deal? The free agency window need only last a day! But when it comes to negotiations, nothing is ever as straightforward as it seems. So let’s spend far too much time analyzing most famous text message since Chris Brown’s booty call, after the jump.
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LOL! Florida Cheerleader Sends 35K Txts A Month

These are the people who drive up the price of unlimited texting plans. According to the ORLANDO SENTINEL, one Florida high school cheerleader sent more than 35,000 texts in a single month twice in the past year.

Cheerleaders texting

(OMG! Can you believe Emilee?)

For those of you who are more mathematically inclined, you’ll realize that breaks down to approximately 74 messages per hour, more than one coming or going each minute (once sleep is factored in … assuming she does sleep). And the most amazing thing about young Emilee Cox’s texting? No one seems to mind.

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Text Messages Revealed Between Tony Parker and French Model

PARKER REACHED OUT & TOUCHED MODEL WITH TEXTING?: After first breaking word of their alleged affair, X17 ONLINE claims they have alleged exclusive text messages between Spurs star Tony Parker and French model Alexandra Paressant.

Tony Parker Text Message

Some of the supposed, alleged correspondence from Tony to Alexandra (translated from French):

I’m in Barcelona; call me when you get back

Come; I’m at the Park Hyatt

Are you coming or not? I would love to see you.

And the two apparently aren’t just phone buddies. Alexandra’s “official” MySpace page has the “official” Tony Parker page as one of her top friends.

Tony Parker Eva Longoria wedding

A spokesperson for Eva Longoria says the soap star’s hubby has not been led astray, calling the allegations “completely 100% false and untrue.”Meanwhile, Parker states to PEOPLE magazine, “I love my wife. She’s the best thing in my life, and I have never been happier.”

Stephon Marbury Said He Got The OK To Leave Knicks In Phoenix

MARBURY WAS ALLOWED TO LEAVE IN THE KNICK OF TIME: First, Stephon Marbury skipped out of Tuesday’s practice. Then he skipped out on Tuesday’s game. But the annoyed Knick says he got permission from Isiah Thomas:

Stephon Marbury Bobblehead

The NEW YORK POST reports that Marbury got the OK from the GM to go AWOL. On Tuesday, Stephon left behind his teammates in Phoenix, and was back in New York by 4 p.m.In a text message sent to the POST, Stephon wrote, “I have one thing to say, and that’s I got permission to leave. I would never leave my team on my own. What I’m telling you is that I got permission to leave from Isiah. He said I could go home. God bless. Peace be with you.”

Stephon Marbury Spike Lee

Marbury also added that he has no plans to join the team Wednesday night in Los Angeles.The Knicks guard is apparently upset with the team, with most of his anger directed at his lack of playing time. With a two-year, $42 million contract, the POST speculates that the Knicks may attempt a buyout.

Too bad Stephon won’t go to LA. He could’ve had a nice chat with another high-priced malcontent.

When asked about Stephon’s abrupt departure, Thomas told media members it was an “in-house matter”.We wonder if the Stephon situation will be handled like other recent in-house matters. Looks like MSG will be hiring some more interns pretty soon.

Girl Sues St. Louis Cardinals For Rude Busch Stadium Scoreboard Message

ST. LOUIS FAN SUES TEAM FOR STD SCOREBOARD MESSAGE: A Cardinals fan was red with rage at a message seen on the scoreboard, and now she’s suing the team:

Busch Stadium Scoreboard

The ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH reports an Illinois teen filed a lawsuit against the baseball club on Wednesday, saying a cell phone text message on the Busch Stadium scoreboard caused her “shame and humiliation”.In May 2006, the girl was part of a high school trip to the Cardinals game. The stadium scoreboard had a feature that would display messages sent by fans via their cell phones.

STD poster

One of her classmates decided to have some fun at her expense, and sent a text to the Busch crowd that read, “(Victim’s name) has an STD! Eww!“She said almost all her friends were at the game, and the insult caused her to be “ostracized at school”, forcing her to seek “psychological counseling.”

Fat St. Louis Cardinals fans

You’d think being a Cardinals fan would be reason enough for counseling. But we kid the lovely & robust Redbird backers.

Boston College Coach Tom Mutch Resigns For Sexy Messages With Female Hockey Player

BC COVERS COACH’S LEWD CONDUCT WITH 19 YO PLAYER: This time yesterday, CSTV.com posted a press release from Boston College that said that the school’s women’s hockey coach, Tom Mutch, had resigned. It was strange news considering Mutch recently took the team to the Frozen Four - and the release offered no clues as to why he quit.

Tom Mutch Kelli Stack

As part of the BC press release, AD Gene DeFilippo said “Tom Mutch brought our women’s ice hockey program to a new level and built a strong foundation for the future. We wish him the best in his future endeavors.“Really Gene? Do you still “wish him the best” now that the whole world is now reporting the truth (which you tried to cover up) about why Mutch is resigning?

Tom Mutch Resigns Sex Messages With Player

Turns out that Mutch, 39, was caught receiving “sexually graphic” text messages from his 19-year-old freshman player (and leading scorer!) Kelli Stack (and I’m sure that’s all there was between the two).