Sergio Kindle is many things. He’s a Texas Longhorn, a defensive end, a linebacker, and an All-Conference player. He’s also the inventor and namesake of Amazon’s Kindle device [Oh for crying out loud, no he isn’t!–ed.] [Hang on, I’m turning a beautiful segue here.] [That doesn’t mean you can just flat-out lie.–ed] [Watch me.], so you’d think he would be as much an expert on using portable electronics safely.
(The most amazing part? Her bedroom was on the third floor! Okay, no it wasn’t.)
Oh, but you’d think wrong, considering the epic multitasking fail Kindle just executed last week. While driving through the West Campus district of Austin in the early morning hours of Wednesday, Kindle decided that he needed to send a text message to a friend. Or, we suppose, an enemy. We weren’t in the car with him or anything. Whatever the message was, it was significantly engrossing that Kindle apparently careened into an apartment building, according to BARKING CARNIVAL. And then things got weird.
So that’s two close calls for Matt Nader. The former Westlake High School (Texas) football player nearly died in 2006 when, as a senior lineman, he collapsed on the sideline during a game at College Station. His life was saved by an automated external defibrillator, and the University of Texas, with whom he had earned a football scholarship, honored the deal and let him pursue his education. Although his football playing career was over, Nader earned a spot as a student assistant coach with the Longhorns.
Then on Monday, Nader was playing golf with friends at Lions Municipal Golf Course in Austin, when a man behind them began complaining that they weren’t playing fast enough. The argument spilled into the parking lot following play, which is when Edwin Dailey, 73, allegedly pulled a .25-caliber Browning handgun loaded with hollow-point bullets and pointed it at Nader. Yikes. Bonus quote from Mr. Crazy: “If I feel threatened, I am morally obligated to destroy you.”Read more…
Shaquille O’Neal is now a Cleveland Cavalier, and according to this, he found out about the trade via Twitter. So the franchise’s quest to acquire a suitable playmate for LeBron James, not to mention bring the city its first pro sports title in 45 years, seems to be serious this time. And all it cost the Cavs was Ben Wallace and Sasha Pavlovic, plus the 46th overall pick in tonight’s NBA Draft. Oh, and the final year of Shaq’s contract at $20 million.
The Cavs have agreed in principle to the trade, according to multiple sources, in what is seen basically as a cost-cutting move by the rebuilding Suns, who will save around $9 million in salary and luxury taxes in the deal. The Suns get $500,000 from the Cavs in the deal, could save even more if Wallace accepts a retirement buyout. The Cavaliers had also been in talks to acquire Tyson Chandler.
O’Neal’s addition also provides Cleveland with some much needed size in its frontcourt. The Cavs couldn’t stop Orlando center Dwight Howard in the Eastern Conference finals, losing the series in six games and seeing a 66-win regular season and deep playoff run come up short.
O’Neal can still bang inside, which is why Cavaliers general manager Danny Ferry tried to acquire him before the trading deadline in February. Ferry and Suns GM Steve Kerr are former NBA teammates and good friends.
Hmm … I wonder if the deal includes the rights to Inflatable Ben Wallace? That would be a sticking point with me, and I’m sure is the reason why they couldn’t get this done before the February trading deadline.
Well, at least Cleveland won’t have to wait long to see who it gets with that No. 46 pick. It’s NBA Draft Day, in case you’ve forgotten. Tall men will be trying on new caps beginning at 6 p.m. EST, and here’s a pretty good live blog in which to track the action. What happens after Blake Griffin goes at No. 1 to the Clippers is anyone’s guess (um, Clippers, please do not blow this), with at least one site’s writers picking Ricky Rubio going anywhere from No. 2 overall to No. 8.
Meanwhile, ping!Paul Mainieri, ping! who was hired by LSU in 2006 to bring the program back to greatness ping! ping! can now claim mission accomplished. LSU beat Texas 11-4 in the deciding Game 3 of the College World Series for its sixth NCAA championship since 1991 and first since 2000 ping! ping! ping!
Sean Ochinko’s two-run single highlighted a five-run sixth for the Tigers. That’s reliever Louis Coleman and catcher Micah Gibbs on the bottom of that pile there.
Lakers’ GM Mitch Kupchakput an end to the rumor that Phil Jackson might only coach home games for the Lakers next season — which was officially the dumbest idea in sports when Jackson floated it earlier this week. “What he said, he didn’t mean it to sound the way it sounded,” Kupchak said. “If he comes back to coach, he will come back and coach both home and away games.” Still to come: A contract in which an athlete only plays in home games. Your move, Scott Boras.
This is kind of the last thing you’d expect at a Colorado Rockies game in Anaheim, but an off-duty cop shot two men whom he said were attacking him in the parking lot. One got it in the chin and the other in the arm in the incident, in which the cop said he was walking to his car with his wife and two small children.
NBC chooses ratings over Alex Ovechkin in picking the Philadelphia Flyers to meet the Boston Bruins on New Years Day at Fenway Park.
Your two-year project of building a Foosball game with players consisting entirely of Barbie dolls is now obsolete (throws down tools in disgust). Above we have “Barbiefoot” by french designer Chloe Ruchon, created in partnership with Mattel and Babyfoot Bonzini. “Barbiefoot” was part of the DMY youngsters exhibition at DMY Berlin Design Festival ‘09.
In case you hadn’t noticed, and after these many years it’s okay if you hadn’t, Chris Chelios has been around forever. For-eh-vur. The 47-year-old has literally spent a majority of his life as a player in the NHL, breaking into the league with Montreal during the 1983-84 season. Yeah, back when “Jump” was the hot new sound from Van Halen. That’s how long dude’s been around.
(Of course he stuck around this long because of hard work. What did you expect? Prayer?)
And while injuries and the unrelenting assault of time on an aging man’s body have kept Chelios from the legendary Gordie Howe’s all-time record in games played and other marks of longetivity, Chelios is still a colossal freak of nature. Look no further than at (it bears repeating) the age of 47, Chelios is finally being released by the Detroit Red Wings. As the DETROIT NEWS reports, though, he still might not be done:
General manager Ken Holland met with Chelios Monday afternoon and, as expected, gave him the news Chelios will not be re-signed.
“It was kind of understood last summer, after Cheli signed, that the 2008-09 season would be the last one for Cheli as a Red Wing,” said Holland, noting the need for the Wings to bring in younger players. “He wants to play another season and I believe he can still play.”
Perhaps Chelios has a year or two left in him as a swan song in Chicago, or maybe he wants to see if he can hit 50 in an NHL uniform, a stunning accomplishment that really has zero bearing on the world at large. Don’t get us wrong, most guys don’t make it to 30 in the league, much less tack two more entire decades on the odometer, but at no point is Chelios ever going to be a catalyst for great things anymore.
Which is fine, of course. Guys stick around in professional athletics for a few years too many on a regular basis, and few (if any) have earned the privilege as much as Chelios. It’s just that at this point, the list of teams who might pick him up are those who really don’t even need the help to begin with.
Speaking of Chris Chelios (WARNING: this segue makes no sense), let’s talk about women fighting each other. You might remember last week where Cris “Cyborg” Santoschoked out a reporter who foolishly questioned her ability to finish a submission move against a fighter, y’know, like how real men do. Well, being that Santos is going to fight SbB favorite Gina Caranoin Carano’s post-EliteXC return to the Octagon, one display of lady-on-gentleman brutality can’t go unreturned before the fight, right? Right:
Nighty nighty, talker man. The question isn’t where are you, as Santos’ victim asked when he came back to Earth, but what are you: that would be lucky as hell, lucky that someone strong enough to turn the lights out with such ease also possesses the capacity for mercy, which is pretty much the only thing that has saved your brain’s regular functions.
If ladychoking is the next salvo fired in the War on Equality, then so be it, because strong women are clearly capable of winning that fight against weak men. And sure, a man can still probably choke out a woman, but anyone willing to make that case, even hypothetically, probably isn’t someone worth your time in conversation. Avoid accordingly.
(The SongGirls aren’t really hired, per se, so that doesn’t count. The white-haired guy in the middle does, though.)
Turns out, as the LOS ANGELES TIMES points out, he doesn’t exactly have a track record of success to fall back on, despite his boasts. So while Carroll’s hire is to Garrett as the Emancipation Proclamation is to Abraham Lincoln (seriously, Abe, what else did you accomplish, other than monopolizing the top hat?*), the rest of the resume seems to be, ahem, lacking. The worst hire, in retrospect, seems to be Floyd, who may have crippled the Trojans’ basketball program for years to come in order to secure one year of service from O.J. Mayo. And let’s hope that mistake doesn’t happen again…
So above all else, Garrett’s resume suggests that success is but a random decision away, a call to be made by livestock choosing to address one of several piles of food, each festooned with a different logo. Blew it on that up-and-coming coach from Southwestern State back in 2003? Hey, what can you do; Ernie the Carnivorous Pheasant clearly indicated he was due by way of which chum pile he devoured, and in any case, we saved the $12 million a barely-competent would have demanded over those same six years.
J.R. Smith and Eddy Curry were apparently webcasting online as they were pulled over for the all-too-common D.W.B., as INSIDE HOOPS reports. No charges were filed and no video seems to exist, which is precisely why you’re reading about it here and not blaring at the top of a morning post. [UPDATE: Smith’s unequivocally calling bullfeathers on the story, though it seems so oddly specific we’re not sure why they would make any of that up.]
OPPOSITE DAY: The worst GM in at least the last 30 years, Steve Phillips, is allowed to make assertions about baseball that go routinely unchallenged. This is like giving Karl Rove his own political column… oh wait.
A word to Texas baseball coach Augie Garrido: there are many, many opportunities for somebody to make self-deprecating jokes to the press. A recent DUI arrest and your mugshot, for example would probably not be the best opportunity to do so. Just something to keep in mind going forw–well, I see we’re too late.
Tony Hawk got to visit the White House, then skateboard through it. And you know what? You can do the exact same thing if you spend 20 years getting famous for being better at one thing than anyone else in the world, and no, we’re not talking about what you do three times a day whenever the wife’s not around. In that case, practice makes pervert. Now pull up your pants and keep reading.
Bet you don’t know who just beat out Jason Jennings for the franchise lead for most victories. Did you guess Aaron Cook? Well, you probably cheated.
Some eight-grader does a flip and throws the basketball in a hoop from almost a full court. This is actually less related to competitive basketball than dunk contests, which we didn’t even think was possible.
(What’s next, trying to shoot it out of a cannon into a hoop? What does this have to do with actual basketball? God, we’re old.)
Former St. Louis Ram and six-time All-Pro La’Roi Gloverretires from the NFL, reports STLTODAY.COM. Just in time to see his brother win the U.S. Open, we see. Seems fitting. What? Their last names are the same. They’ve gotta be related.
LeBron James‘ youth basketball camp has moved from his hometown of Akron to the UCSD, for some reason, and now costs up to $650 per child, says San Diego’s 10 NEWS. We’re sure there’s a good reason and it in no way exists to make an insanely rich man richer. That would just be untoward, now wouldn’t it? As a matter of fact, we’re planning on sending Brooks in undercover as a child to see what… oh damn it, we just blew his cover. Abort, Brooks! Abort!!! This is not a drill!
If Jose Reyes‘ hamstring injury wasn’t bad enough, it turns out he was just rear-ended by an ambulance. No, we mean the car he was in was hit from behind by an emergency vehicle, not… dude, gross.
*We’re addressing him in the first person because we have it on good authority that Abe Lincoln and other dead Presidents read SbB with astonishing regularity in the afterworld. Heaven has great wi-fi. Which seems appropriate, if you think about it; how good could heaven really be if the wireless sucked?
Let’s be honest with ourselves: the Penguins are done. Sure, technically all Detroit did on Sunday night was hold home ice advantage with their 3-1 win over Pittsburgh in Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals, the same score as Game 1. But their 2-0 lead pretty much feels insurmountable - does anyone feel like the Penguins can take four of the next five games against the Red Wings? Didn’t think so.
Especially since the Red Wings and their old, tired legs, were able to outhustle, outskate and just plain outplay the Penguins 24 hours after Game 1, a made-for-TV contrivance that was supposed to be their downfall. Pittsburgh’s Big Two of Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin have combined for one goal in the first two games, half as many as Detroit’s Justin Abdelkader, who was playing minor-league hockey in May. And both of his goals have been beauties, including his singlehanded effort last night:
The bottom line for Pittsburgh is simple: when their main goal scorers are being held in check, and their goaltending is soft, they are going to lose. It doesn’t matter how much revenge they want, or if Evgeni Malkin tries to start fights to fire the team up - Detroit is just the better team (and doing this without Pavel Datsyuk, mind you).
Speaking of Malkin’s fisticuffs: despite picking up an instigator penalty at the end of Game 2, which should be an automatic one-game suspension, the NHL has decided that Malkin will be on the ice when the serious returns to Pittsburgh. Think the league wants to avoid a sweep?
OK, remember how Texas beat Boston College 3-2 in 25 innings Friday night-slash-Saturday morning in an NCAA baseball tournament game? Well, their following opponents were Army, and while the game ended in nine innings, it was just as dramatic as the BC contest. The Longhorns scored eight times in the ninth inning for a 14-10 win, including a walk-off grand slam by Preston Clark. Check out the highlights here:
With the win, Texas advances to the Super Regional, where they will play TCU in a Best-of-Three series that will likely come down to the final pitch of Game Three. Seriously, guys, it’s OK just to win a 5-1 snoozer every once in a while. (Or if you are Florida State, a 37-6 snoozer.)
Finally, congratulations for Jamie Moyer for getting his 250th career win yesterday, a 4-2 Phillies win over the Nationals. (And really, shouldn’t that could as half a win?) The achievements of the 46-year-old goes to show that not being able to throw hard enough to break glass isn’t a prerequisite to being successful. And it also shows that if you are a lefty with a durable arm, even a 4.23 career ERA can’t keep you from reaching some big milestones.
Give Brad Childress credit for having a good sense of humor: he busted out a nifty fake wig atop his notorious chrome dome at practice, and then said that he would only wear it during the season “if it had ‘Reebok’ across the top of it.” Here’s the photographic evidence (and it still looked better than Jared Allen’s hair):
BLACK SPORTS ONLINE wants LeBron James to “man up” and shake hands after getting knocked out of the playoffs, or come to the post-game press conference. Two things he didn’t do last night after the Magic bounced the Cavs.
I’m making a list of pitchers who don’t want to go to the Chicago White Sox, and apparently every No. 1 is on the list. First it was Jake Peavy of the Padres rejecting a deal, and now the HOUSTON CHRONICLE is saying that Roy Oswalt of the Astros will exercise his veto rights to nix any deal. But I’m sure Barry Zito is still available.
Here’s one way to break out of 0-for-18 slump: Ali Gardiner ripped a grand slam with two outs in the bottom of the last inning to lift the Florida over Alabama 6-5 to send the Gators to the College Softball World Series championship game.
How not to win your first PGA Tour tournament: miss putts inside 10 feet on the final hole of regulation and the first hole of a playoff, and then have your approach on the second playoff hole ricochet off the pin and roll back more than 20 feet from the hole. Steve Stricker was the beneficiary of Tim Clark’s bad luck/meltdown, picking up the Crowne Plaza Invitational.
The Orlando Magic thought they had lost All-Star point guard Jameer Nelson to injury for the season back in February, but now the ORLANDO SENTINEL is saying that the rehab for his shoulder injury is “dramatically” ahead of schedule and he might be available for the NBA Finals.
Arkansas DT Lavunce Askew was arrested on Saturday after allegedly stealing a laptop from an apartment. His teammate Matt Marshall also stole an iPod Touch, but was not charged after he returned it to the doorstep and helped police track down Askew. See, Marshall might be a thief and a stool pigeon, but his heart is in the right place.
World champion hurdler Jana Rawlinson was forced to confirm an embarrassing, poorly-kept secret circulating around the track world for months. Not that she’s using PEDs, but that she had breast augmentation. You would think if there’s one sport where being busty is a disadvantage, it’s hurdling. Check out some Russ Meyer-approved before and after action:
Usually, going 2-for-12 would represent a lousy series for a baseball player, not a rough night. But that was what Travis Tucker of Texas did in the Longhorns’ NCAA regional game against Boston College on Friday night. And Saturday morning. But while Tucker may have had a rough night, he at least came through when it counted - in the 25th inning - as his single gave Texas a 3-2 victory over Boston College in the longest game in NCAA baseball history.
And with the win, Texas earned the right to rest until tonight, where they get the winner of this afternoon’s elimination game between Army and Boston College - which started about nine hours after last night’s game ended. I’m sure that the Eagles are full of energy to take on the Cadets, as much as the Longhorns are not looking forward to another night game against Boston College.
Hey, ever notice how some unrelated people have the same name, like SPORTSbyBROOKS and Albert Brooks? Isn’t that just the funniest? If you said “yes” to that second question, be sure to tune into ESPN’s telecast of the 2009 NFL Draft and watch former Texas wideout Quan Cosby ride out the draft with legendary comedian Bill Cosby. Wait, what?
AWFUL ANNOUNCING reports that the footballer and the star of “Leonard Part 6″ will watch the draft together in a New Jersey theater before the elder Cosby performs there that night, and ESPN will be on hand to record the hilarity for posterity. How did such a bizarre stunt come to pass?
Ask the casual sports fan which college baseball team has the most wins ever, and you might get an answer like Texas, LSU or USC. Actually, the most likely answer would be “they play baseball in college?,” but that’s besides the point. But even the most hardcore college baseball nut would be hard pressed to get this right. The correct answer is Fordham University, as the NEW YORK TIMES details their rich baseball heritage.
In fact, the Rams are so far ahead of the competition, it’s not even close. The program has 4,010 wins, almost 900 more than their closest rival Texas. Much of this is due to the program’s lengthy history - their program started 150 years ago, giving them a 36-year head start on the Longhorns and a 50 year jump on most other major programs.
